38 disabled trans furry. DID, AuDHD. Married, Polyamorous. PNW. 18+ Variety Streamer, Eldritch Meat Vendor. Always willing and wanting to learn. twitch.tv/Mongobeef https://ko-fi.com/Mongobeefhttps://bsky.app/profile/mongolikebeef.bsky.socialhttps://bsky.app/profile/mongolikebeef.bsky.social/post/3mls75x5jmk2bMy spouse wants to get help and they’re going to be getting help…this is good news. So why are we shaking? Why am I crying? Why can’t I stop crying…please…please…I mean it when I said I won’t kill myself…I just…we don’t understand this crashing wave of emotions. It’s a torrent I can’t escape…help me14 May 2026 06:33 +0000at://did:plc:26nucunmfrvkvhnyikg3jgbq/app.bsky.feed.post/3mls75x5jmk2bhttps://bsky.app/profile/mongolikebeef.bsky.social/post/3mls4onndek2oWhy did I think I would be able to come back to streaming. I may just delete all the posts about whats going on. Transparency really will probably just do more damage to my options in life than vagueposting about problems...I don't know. I'm not going to kill myself but I might cry myself to sleep14 May 2026 05:49 +0000at://did:plc:26nucunmfrvkvhnyikg3jgbq/app.bsky.feed.post/3mls4onndek2ohttps://bsky.app/profile/mongolikebeef.bsky.social/post/3mls4odxhe22oYa know...I'm not dying, but I really wish I could be posting...fun things, nice things, enjoyable things. Not...this constant stream of inactivity or doom and "oh no things got worse" On top of elevated while asleep...docs want me to have the leg up at least 4 hours a day14 May 2026 05:49 +0000at://did:plc:26nucunmfrvkvhnyikg3jgbq/app.bsky.feed.post/3mls4odxhe22ohttps://bsky.app/profile/mongolikebeef.bsky.social/post/3mlowvsd6cs2vYou ever have a doctor steal bad flesh from your leg and then have to walk/stand on said leg for the next five hours? No? Do not recommend it. I gotta figure out if I can give cash for my fuckin pizza cause my legs are about to give up and crumple under me12 May 2026 23:28 +0000at://did:plc:26nucunmfrvkvhnyikg3jgbq/app.bsky.feed.post/3mlowvsd6cs2vhttps://bsky.app/profile/mongolikebeef.bsky.social/post/3mloiqqjvyc2oko-fi.com/Mongobeef Hi there. Name’s Morrigan. My spouse has had a mental breakdown because of continuous stress and their father dying a smidge under two months ago. I don’t know how we’ll have money for any bills we have let alone food shortly. My spouse is our only regular income in this house. https://ko-fi.com/Mongobeef12 May 2026 19:14 +0000at://did:plc:26nucunmfrvkvhnyikg3jgbq/app.bsky.feed.post/3mloiqqjvyc2ohttps://bsky.app/profile/mongolikebeef.bsky.social/post/3mloibwjt3c2oOk. Wound center appointment done. Wound debridement SUCKS. Also though…spouse is going (voluntarily) to a crisis management center and I gotta figure out how to get their medication to them there. And what the fuck is their work gonna do…or how we’ll pay any bills this month…fuck this escalated [contains quote post or other embedded content]12 May 2026 19:06 +0000at://did:plc:26nucunmfrvkvhnyikg3jgbq/app.bsky.feed.post/3mloibwjt3c2ohttps://bsky.app/profile/mongolikebeef.bsky.social/post/3mlocy3cvx225Have another appointment today. They stayed for the night and are being monitored. I know neither of us has had proper ability to mourn their father’s death and it seems that strain reached its peak for my spouse. I feel like I’m only still held together cause of the range of my support network. [contains quote post or other embedded content]12 May 2026 17:31 +0000at://did:plc:26nucunmfrvkvhnyikg3jgbq/app.bsky.feed.post/3mlocy3cvx225https://bsky.app/profile/mongolikebeef.bsky.social/post/3mlmhnx7ujk2pHospital MIGHT put them on a 72hr hold to monitor them cause their heart rate has been apparently very high. But my spouse is communicating with me which is good. Also my meds kicked in too so I can breathe a little on all current avenues. [contains quote post or other embedded content]11 May 2026 23:50 +0000at://did:plc:26nucunmfrvkvhnyikg3jgbq/app.bsky.feed.post/3mlmhnx7ujk2phttps://bsky.app/profile/mongolikebeef.bsky.social/post/3mlmeawvxa22pOK. My mom is aware. I’ve done an immediate triage to myself in terms of food and medication to keep myself calmer. I need to still handle things around here and let my phone charge. I’ll call the hospital back and see if they’ve been admitted in the next hour. Hopefully by then my meds will kick in11 May 2026 22:49 +0000at://did:plc:26nucunmfrvkvhnyikg3jgbq/app.bsky.feed.post/3mlmeawvxa22phttps://bsky.app/profile/mongolikebeef.bsky.social/post/3mlmbhyrxlk27Do I panic now?…will that help? Do I jump on a bus to get to the hospital to see them and get actual info (not mad at the hospital for not providing that over the phone) other than “ok they’re still breathing…”11 May 2026 21:59 +0000at://did:plc:26nucunmfrvkvhnyikg3jgbq/app.bsky.feed.post/3mlmbhyrxlk27https://bsky.app/profile/mongolikebeef.bsky.social/post/3mlm6rj4iuc2lIf the universe could…please NOT do more things to my life today. Like I’d be really happy. Upset that shits happening as it is but more is not appreciated. Yeah I’m vague posting. It’s cause I’m in the dark myself and probably only not having a panic attack cause of the med combo I’m on right now.11 May 2026 21:10 +0000at://did:plc:26nucunmfrvkvhnyikg3jgbq/app.bsky.feed.post/3mlm6rj4iuc2lhttps://bsky.app/profile/mongolikebeef.bsky.social/post/3mllj4fklps2xko-fi.com/Mongobeef My ride to my radiology appointment fell through so I gotta pivot to local bus transit. I do have a big goal up that’s supposed to be the Legathon but these doctor visits are driving me to my last drops of available funds so any amount you can throw at me right now will help https://ko-fi.com/Mongobeef11 May 2026 14:43 +0000at://did:plc:26nucunmfrvkvhnyikg3jgbq/app.bsky.feed.post/3mllj4fklps2xhttps://bsky.app/profile/mongolikebeef.bsky.social/post/3mljxcziblk2eI’m Pansexual, what does that mean? To me your gender doesn’t matter. I want your most self and if that means you go off an autistic rant about something I know nothing about… I want that. I wanna be info dumped. I want to be overwhelmed with your passion. Cause I’d hope you’d want that for me too10 May 2026 23:52 +0000at://did:plc:26nucunmfrvkvhnyikg3jgbq/app.bsky.feed.post/3mljxcziblk2ehttps://bsky.app/profile/mongolikebeef.bsky.social/post/3mljwtxk3t22eI just figured out how to set up bisexual lighting in my bedroom. I need to set this to a singular verbal command cause oh fuck this is hot10 May 2026 23:43 +0000at://did:plc:26nucunmfrvkvhnyikg3jgbq/app.bsky.feed.post/3mljwtxk3t22ehttps://bsky.app/profile/mongolikebeef.bsky.social/post/3mlhfv2wtmk2pA month+ is a LONG time to have been away and it wasn’t like I was doing so a lot before that but it felt so good to stream again. And to finally feel like my health was in a position that I even could stream. Thanks for the raid @residentgremlin.bsky.social even without my alerts working [contains quote post or other embedded content]09 May 2026 23:34 +0000at://did:plc:26nucunmfrvkvhnyikg3jgbq/app.bsky.feed.post/3mlhfv2wtmk2phttps://bsky.app/profile/mongolikebeef.bsky.social/post/3mlgrnvs7kk2yNot done with art stuff but Far Far West is too fun and I can't resist streaming with my friend Depression SO, BOO. STREAM SURPRISE twitch.tv/Mongobeef #farfarwest #Vtuber https://twitch.tv/Mongobeef09 May 2026 17:33 +0000at://did:plc:26nucunmfrvkvhnyikg3jgbq/app.bsky.feed.post/3mlgrnvs7kk2yhttps://bsky.app/profile/mongolikebeef.bsky.social/post/3mlea3fq5uk2kThree days. Three days has made more progress in healing my body on this new med cocktail than the PREVIOUS MONTH. I don’t wanna call the doc and deal with the logistic mess I know is waiting me but I ALSO WANNA KEEP THIS SUPPORT. Maybe MAYBE art stream later. No idea. We’re so back. It’s never over08 May 2026 17:13 +0000at://did:plc:26nucunmfrvkvhnyikg3jgbq/app.bsky.feed.post/3mlea3fq5uk2khttps://bsky.app/profile/mongolikebeef.bsky.social/post/3mlbiijz2ms2tDay 2 of the new med cocktail. Had a latter half of the day headache but that was a known side effect with the starting spike in the meds yesterday. And it didn't stick around which means it was just a little suffering...lets hope it keeps up though cause...I'm actually healing, finally.07 May 2026 15:05 +0000at://did:plc:26nucunmfrvkvhnyikg3jgbq/app.bsky.feed.post/3mlbiijz2ms2thttps://bsky.app/profile/mongolikebeef.bsky.social/post/3mlbhz7cn3k25Hey...why do you have to hurt me like this? Actually fuck it. I'll own myself being Old. [contains quote post or other embedded content]07 May 2026 14:57 +0000at://did:plc:26nucunmfrvkvhnyikg3jgbq/app.bsky.feed.post/3mlbhz7cn3k25https://bsky.app/profile/mongolikebeef.bsky.social/post/3ml7kfihg522dOh no Raccoin....what number did you set the max Russian Roulette stacks to?06 May 2026 20:34 +0000at://did:plc:26nucunmfrvkvhnyikg3jgbq/app.bsky.feed.post/3ml7kfihg522dhttps://bsky.app/profile/mongolikebeef.bsky.social/post/3mkq2uxgamk2gGOOD NEWS. LAB WORK CAME BACK. Don’t have a “cause” for my fibro or a lot of my other health issues but there’s no indicators for Lupus or Rheumatoid Arthritis which is good in a way. Oh good lord May is tomorrow. Well I knew waiting for test results would lock my brain up so…Legathon Soon (™️)30 Apr 2026 16:46 +0000at://did:plc:26nucunmfrvkvhnyikg3jgbq/app.bsky.feed.post/3mkq2uxgamk2ghttps://bsky.app/profile/mongolikebeef.bsky.social/post/3mklpb5jitk22Every single person who’s hurt me personally. I am allowed to never forgive them…but ya know what. I would never deny them the space and opportunity to be and grow into a better person. And I want them to be better. Being online doesn’t change that. We’re all people in the end. Never forget that. [contains quote post or other embedded content]28 Apr 2026 23:08 +0000at://did:plc:26nucunmfrvkvhnyikg3jgbq/app.bsky.feed.post/3mklpb5jitk22https://bsky.app/profile/mongolikebeef.bsky.social/post/3mklao33kh22sWe think, no matter how much we want to start things on the 1st. Our mind is so occupied with what these lab results might be that while we're gonna try to work on stuff for this dono-sub-whateverthon. The results say "between 3-7 days" and I'm not sure mentally I'll be prepared for the results28 Apr 2026 18:47 +0000at://did:plc:26nucunmfrvkvhnyikg3jgbq/app.bsky.feed.post/3mklao33kh22shttps://bsky.app/profile/mongolikebeef.bsky.social/post/3mkitx2wwkk2fIn other news. Have a tired old man in the back seat after I got back in the car. Big adventure for him. Big Me sitting in the chair after they took my blood, waiting for the ringing and nausea to finally stop so I could stand. I should eat something…27 Apr 2026 19:54 +0000at://did:plc:26nucunmfrvkvhnyikg3jgbq/app.bsky.feed.post/3mkitx2wwkk2f