Genuine human person My Feed: https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:2bohbdbqodkdvxc5zddguyf7/feed/aaafdo7gqbsjehttps://bsky.app/profile/murdox.bsky.socialhttps://bsky.app/profile/murdox.bsky.social/post/3lbzas3crtc2vWife: *walks into kitchen at 5am* Me: *stuffing frozen turkey with explosives*28 Nov 2024 14:13 +0000at://did:plc:2bohbdbqodkdvxc5zddguyf7/app.bsky.feed.post/3lbzas3crtc2vhttps://bsky.app/profile/murdox.bsky.social/post/3lbwrsa2yzc27Me: I don’t know why I’m so anxious all the time. Also Me: Flight takes off in 4 hours and I still haven’t packed.27 Nov 2024 14:39 +0000at://did:plc:2bohbdbqodkdvxc5zddguyf7/app.bsky.feed.post/3lbwrsa2yzc27https://bsky.app/profile/murdox.bsky.social/post/3lbwrnnbnlk27This is my most successful post. I clearly don’t understand how this website works. [contains quote post or other embedded content]27 Nov 2024 14:37 +0000at://did:plc:2bohbdbqodkdvxc5zddguyf7/app.bsky.feed.post/3lbwrnnbnlk27https://bsky.app/profile/murdox.bsky.social/post/3lbvbvyg6uc2tIncoming president builds his own monument [contains quote post or other embedded content]27 Nov 2024 00:23 +0000at://did:plc:2bohbdbqodkdvxc5zddguyf7/app.bsky.feed.post/3lbvbvyg6uc2thttps://bsky.app/profile/murdox.bsky.social/post/3lbuzpplbdc2tRandom person (trying to get my attention): *waves* Hey! Me (wearing headphones with nothing playing): *points to ears, shrugs, and keeps walking*26 Nov 2024 21:56 +0000at://did:plc:2bohbdbqodkdvxc5zddguyf7/app.bsky.feed.post/3lbuzpplbdc2thttps://bsky.app/profile/murdox.bsky.social/post/3lbufxu6vxk2tI eat the silica gel packs first so they don’t get in the way of my snacking.26 Nov 2024 16:02 +0000at://did:plc:2bohbdbqodkdvxc5zddguyf7/app.bsky.feed.post/3lbufxu6vxk2thttps://bsky.app/profile/murdox.bsky.social/post/3lbuawbf3pk2tSince I’m a small account, my followers get more personal attention. Hungry? I’ll make you a nice sandwich. Need to borrow a dollar? Here, take a fiver! Having trouble reaching that spot in the shower? Let me give you a hand.26 Nov 2024 14:32 +0000at://did:plc:2bohbdbqodkdvxc5zddguyf7/app.bsky.feed.post/3lbuawbf3pk2thttps://bsky.app/profile/murdox.bsky.social/post/3lbua6q4lxk2tIt’s wild how there’s more misinformation now than ever before. Back before the internet, someone would just say something, and everyone believed them. Saw the Loch Ness monster? Holy shit, incredible! Smoking cigs boosts your sperm count? Light me up!26 Nov 2024 14:19 +0000at://did:plc:2bohbdbqodkdvxc5zddguyf7/app.bsky.feed.post/3lbua6q4lxk2thttps://bsky.app/profile/murdox.bsky.social/post/3lbu4bomumk2tDon’t forget to leave corn out for the holiday turkey the night before Thanksgiving, or it won’t leave any giblets under your tree.26 Nov 2024 13:09 +0000at://did:plc:2bohbdbqodkdvxc5zddguyf7/app.bsky.feed.post/3lbu4bomumk2thttps://bsky.app/profile/murdox.bsky.social/post/3lbsowrfifc2lAn edible Christmas tree with edible ornaments. Just eat the whole thing by New Year’s Eve or it dissolves into a poisonous gas.25 Nov 2024 23:38 +0000at://did:plc:2bohbdbqodkdvxc5zddguyf7/app.bsky.feed.post/3lbsowrfifc2lhttps://bsky.app/profile/murdox.bsky.social/post/3lbs7coc7n22eI keep hearing about juice but I never got one25 Nov 2024 18:58 +0000at://did:plc:2bohbdbqodkdvxc5zddguyf7/app.bsky.feed.post/3lbs7coc7n22ehttps://bsky.app/profile/murdox.bsky.social/post/3lbrjrmyges2dMe: I want you to want me Her: I do want you Me: I need you to need me Her: Where is this coming from? Me: I'd love you to love me Her: I love you very much. Wha— Me: I'm beggin' you to beg me Her: What the actual fuck!?25 Nov 2024 12:33 +0000at://did:plc:2bohbdbqodkdvxc5zddguyf7/app.bsky.feed.post/3lbrjrmyges2dhttps://bsky.app/profile/murdox.bsky.social/post/3lbrhysghds2dHoliday shopping crowds make me catatonic. I would rather be torn apart by a pack of meth-addicted badgers than step foot in a store between now and Xmas.25 Nov 2024 12:01 +0000at://did:plc:2bohbdbqodkdvxc5zddguyf7/app.bsky.feed.post/3lbrhysghds2dhttps://bsky.app/profile/murdox.bsky.social/post/3lbnsu2udnc24Bluesky disputes can be resolved by single combat according to the terms of service.24 Nov 2024 01:04 +0000at://did:plc:2bohbdbqodkdvxc5zddguyf7/app.bsky.feed.post/3lbnsu2udnc24