The former Conservative MP for Dorset East.🇬🇧https://bsky.app/profile/sirmichaeltake.bsky.socialhttps://bsky.app/profile/sirmichaeltake.bsky.social/post/3mvp42nlgsk2kI have formed a patriotic vigilante force in the village. We are The Gussage Patriot Guard. Naturally we disguise our identity. At the snap of a custard cream we can be mobilised to: Quote the bible Urinate in public Set up funding pages Eat spicy foods Spit Chant in cockney. 🇬🇧17 Sep 2026 07:12 +0000at://did:plc:2va3thvzdrzpiem3dy76de2p/app.bsky.feed.post/3mvp42nlgsk2khttps://bsky.app/profile/sirmichaeltake.bsky.social/post/3mvk3fzfw2c2rWhat Reform UK will spend their £72M donations on: Robert Jenrick’s Mounjaro Bacon sandwiches Balaclavas Recruiting Conservative ex ministers Full home and away football kits Oysters Pints of beer used as props Holidays to Dubai Gags for Zia Yusuf Old men with walking sticks. 🇬🇧15 Sep 2026 07:17 +0000at://did:plc:2va3thvzdrzpiem3dy76de2p/app.bsky.feed.post/3mvk3fzfw2c2rhttps://bsky.app/profile/sirmichaeltake.bsky.social/post/3mvfairyjrs2oYou might not like him but one thing you must say about Lee Anderson is you will never catch him blowing his own trumpet. He is a modest & humble man who never boasts about himself. He might be boisterous but Lee has no ego & never lies about himself or his achievements. 🤔13 Sep 2026 09:05 +0000at://did:plc:2va3thvzdrzpiem3dy76de2p/app.bsky.feed.post/3mvfairyjrs2ohttps://bsky.app/profile/sirmichaeltake.bsky.social/post/3mv7zjaryrc2gLen our ‘Reform UK’ butcher in the village has gone full Danny Tommo. For 2 pork chops Jill in the village shop has agreed to knit him a black balaclava so he can go about incognito. He’s started slapping his wife, smoking Spice & telling us all he is protecting ‘are dawters.’ 😳11 Sep 2026 07:16 +0000at://did:plc:2va3thvzdrzpiem3dy76de2p/app.bsky.feed.post/3mv7zjaryrc2ghttps://bsky.app/profile/sirmichaeltake.bsky.social/post/3mv5imxt2622vTommy Robinson considers his future this morning after last night’s Channel 4 documentary…10 Sep 2026 07:09 +0000at://did:plc:2va3thvzdrzpiem3dy76de2p/app.bsky.feed.post/3mv5imxt2622vhttps://bsky.app/profile/sirmichaeltake.bsky.social/post/3mv2xtdwxfk2xDo listen! As we all know Reform UK have a ‘shadow’ cabinet. For example Zia Yusuf is their Shadow Home Secretary.😂 This chap talking at the recent Reform conference is their Shadow Royal Majesty, King of The UK. Nah Nah Yeah Nah… 🙄09 Sep 2026 07:03 +0000at://did:plc:2va3thvzdrzpiem3dy76de2p/app.bsky.feed.post/3mv2xtdwxfk2xhttps://bsky.app/profile/sirmichaeltake.bsky.social/post/3muyhqt567c2hThe new photo of the Reform ‘team’ from their recent conference should go down well with their supporters…08 Sep 2026 07:10 +0000at://did:plc:2va3thvzdrzpiem3dy76de2p/app.bsky.feed.post/3muyhqt567c2hhttps://bsky.app/profile/sirmichaeltake.bsky.social/post/3muvzaj2uvs2b‘You, Boy! Get me a walking stick. I’m off to hit loads of women on the head who disagree with me!’07 Sep 2026 07:45 +0000at://did:plc:2va3thvzdrzpiem3dy76de2p/app.bsky.feed.post/3muvzaj2uvs2bhttps://bsky.app/profile/sirmichaeltake.bsky.social/post/3muohizsij22uIn light of these new allegations about illegal funding, it is my opinion that Nigel Farage should step down as MP for Clacton. He should then stand again in the by-election and let the people of Clacton decide if he’s guilty or not of breaking electoral law. 😉04 Sep 2026 07:39 +0000at://did:plc:2va3thvzdrzpiem3dy76de2p/app.bsky.feed.post/3muohizsij22uhttps://bsky.app/profile/sirmichaeltake.bsky.social/post/3mulyzkrio22jI must admit I’m not overly impressed by the new presenter on GB News. 🇬🇧😳03 Sep 2026 08:14 +0000at://did:plc:2va3thvzdrzpiem3dy76de2p/app.bsky.feed.post/3mulyzkrio22jhttps://bsky.app/profile/sirmichaeltake.bsky.social/post/3mujil7kt3s2xTRANSFER WINDOW LATEST! Priti Patel➡️Reform Chris Mason➡️GB News Donald Trump➡️Greenland Rupert Lowe➡️Third Reich Berlin FC Nigel Farage➡️Anywhere But Clacton Ben Stokes➡️‘Shags’Nightclub Basildon Andrew Windsor➡️San Quentin Penitentiary BBC➡️Sky TV Carol Kirkwood➡️El Niño.02 Sep 2026 08:15 +0000at://did:plc:2va3thvzdrzpiem3dy76de2p/app.bsky.feed.post/3mujil7kt3s2xhttps://bsky.app/profile/sirmichaeltake.bsky.social/post/3mugtyjcdbs2yCALLING June Slater. CALLING Sarah Pochin. CALLING Nadine Dorries. Laydees! Here’s a right wing patriotic hotee who’ll get your juices flowing.🔥 This stud’s name is Brexit Brian. He’s single, smells of mature cheddar & can tie his own shoelaces (just). Go get him girrrrls! 💋01 Sep 2026 07:01 +0000at://did:plc:2va3thvzdrzpiem3dy76de2p/app.bsky.feed.post/3mugtyjcdbs2yhttps://bsky.app/profile/sirmichaeltake.bsky.social/post/3muekcimydc24I despair of Andy Burnham. 🤨 It started simply with him just strumming guitar on a military aircraft. Now it’s developed into this, with Andy using a fully choreographed music video to put his socialist message across! 😡31 Aug 2026 09:02 +0000at://did:plc:2va3thvzdrzpiem3dy76de2p/app.bsky.feed.post/3muekcimydc24https://bsky.app/profile/sirmichaeltake.bsky.social/post/3mubzghl4ec2eWe Tories LOVE James Cleverly our new candidate for London Mayor but he is a bit of a clot.😄 Remember his campaign video for a candidate whose name he couldn’t pronounce in a constituency he couldn’t remember? Are you ready for Clever Jim London? 😳30 Aug 2026 08:55 +0000at://did:plc:2va3thvzdrzpiem3dy76de2p/app.bsky.feed.post/3mubzghl4ec2ehttps://bsky.app/profile/sirmichaeltake.bsky.social/post/3mu5ai6z6ws2aThe village gave the scarecrows their annual day out. Mr Lumpy, Chinwag & Little Billy were all allowed to shout at nobody in particular in the big city. They had a wonderful time! When they got back home they were put back in the fields with a glass of milk & some warm turnip.👨‍🌾28 Aug 2026 11:18 +0000at://did:plc:2va3thvzdrzpiem3dy76de2p/app.bsky.feed.post/3mu5ai6z6ws2ahttps://bsky.app/profile/sirmichaeltake.bsky.social/post/3mu2bqiczzc2nWith serious flood alerts all across the UK today Richard Tice says we should embrace the flooding. ‘Let’s enjoy all this lovely wet weather & excess water’ he has commented, ‘it helps us to improve our swimming skills & has given a real boost to our sandbag and bikini industry.’27 Aug 2026 07:02 +0000at://did:plc:2va3thvzdrzpiem3dy76de2p/app.bsky.feed.post/3mu2bqiczzc2nhttps://bsky.app/profile/sirmichaeltake.bsky.social/post/3mu2bqiczzc2nWith serious flood alerts all across the UK today Richard Tice says we should embrace the flooding. ‘Let’s enjoy all this lovely wet weather & excess water’ he has commented, ‘it helps us to improve our swimming skills & has given a real boost to our sandbag and bikini industry.’27 Aug 2026 07:02 +0000at://did:plc:2va3thvzdrzpiem3dy76de2p/app.bsky.feed.post/3mu2bqiczzc2nhttps://bsky.app/profile/sirmichaeltake.bsky.social/post/3mtvjihqkvs25June Slater: Our nation’s Nan. Caring and loving. Her teeth shine so bright! The sort of Nan who gives you a bowl of comforting warm soup and a cuddle when you feel down. Her latest appearance on social media proves what a sympathetic & affectionate woman she really is… 👵❤️25 Aug 2026 09:38 +0000at://did:plc:2va3thvzdrzpiem3dy76de2p/app.bsky.feed.post/3mtvjihqkvs25https://bsky.app/profile/sirmichaeltake.bsky.social/post/3mtswwqn5os2vThe new Dr Who has been announced! 😊24 Aug 2026 09:00 +0000at://did:plc:2va3thvzdrzpiem3dy76de2p/app.bsky.feed.post/3mtswwqn5os2vhttps://bsky.app/profile/sirmichaeltake.bsky.social/post/3mtqiivgeds2bSo Lee Anderson has got one of his fiendishly difficult questions for us again: And I’m going to guess the answer is… Ashfield! 😉23 Aug 2026 09:37 +0000at://did:plc:2va3thvzdrzpiem3dy76de2p/app.bsky.feed.post/3mtqiivgeds2bhttps://bsky.app/profile/sirmichaeltake.bsky.social/post/3mtnruqlcwc2qThe Daily Mail editorial team get together in a coven in the wilds of Dartmoor to discuss their coverage of Harry and Meghan:22 Aug 2026 07:47 +0000at://did:plc:2va3thvzdrzpiem3dy76de2p/app.bsky.feed.post/3mtnruqlcwc2qhttps://bsky.app/profile/sirmichaeltake.bsky.social/post/3mtjb6hjgpk2x“Look Peter! I can see Julia Fartly Brewer, Sarah Whine, Isabel Cokeshot & all the right wing press doing a collective knife sharpening in preparation for Meghan’s return.”20 Aug 2026 12:37 +0000at://did:plc:2va3thvzdrzpiem3dy76de2p/app.bsky.feed.post/3mtjb6hjgpk2xhttps://bsky.app/profile/sirmichaeltake.bsky.social/post/3mtdpk7efoc2lRichard Tice is RIGHT to say we should enjoy the heat & stop fighting the climate crisis: It’s a boon to the air conditioning industry. We don’t have to mow the lawn as there is no lawn. Oldies dying off relieves the social care system. Lots of water sports to enjoy in Winter!😊18 Aug 2026 07:38 +0000at://did:plc:2va3thvzdrzpiem3dy76de2p/app.bsky.feed.post/3mtdpk7efoc2lhttps://bsky.app/profile/sirmichaeltake.bsky.social/post/3mtcal53qrc2xZia Yusuf has a bloody cheek to be writing this vile & offensive tweet. 😡 Why? Because it is truly insulting to suggest a Conservative such as my good self would use the phrase: “Trust me bro.” 😤17 Aug 2026 17:38 +0000at://did:plc:2va3thvzdrzpiem3dy76de2p/app.bsky.feed.post/3mtcal53qrc2xhttps://bsky.app/profile/sirmichaeltake.bsky.social/post/3mt6mxrntqs2fToday Zia Yusuf will be attacking the following: Small jars of mustard Luton Town season ticket holders Ronnie Pickering The Scissor Sisters Carol Kirkwood❤️ People who whistle in the mornings The eclipse Moths Big Zuu All women named Lisa Deer Hairy mounds Virgin olive oil. 🇬🇧16 Aug 2026 07:09 +0000at://did:plc:2va3thvzdrzpiem3dy76de2p/app.bsky.feed.post/3mt6mxrntqs2fhttps://bsky.app/profile/sirmichaeltake.bsky.social/post/3mt4zawh2zs2zWell one thing. The Daily Mail is criticised for its sensationalism, its insensitivity, its lack of compassion and its bullying of people it doesn’t like. But in the case of Jason Arday it has acted with restraint and understanding. As examples of their coverage shows… 🙁15 Aug 2026 15:43 +0000at://did:plc:2va3thvzdrzpiem3dy76de2p/app.bsky.feed.post/3mt4zawh2zs2zhttps://bsky.app/profile/sirmichaeltake.bsky.social/post/3mszoxigyfc25A rather hungover middle aged man who has been partying all night calls the police liars. My wife Bunty tells me he’s an MP. Really? 😱 More like one of those obnoxious yobs you see on those reality programmes about the police on Channel 5.14 Aug 2026 08:01 +0000at://did:plc:2va3thvzdrzpiem3dy76de2p/app.bsky.feed.post/3mszoxigyfc25https://bsky.app/profile/sirmichaeltake.bsky.social/post/3msuv5wa3wc2kSarah clutched Lee’s bacon sodden stomach & whispered sweet nothings in his crusty ears. As he broke wind Lee felt a stirring. His manhood rose. The smell of onion & lard enveloped them both. ‘Take me’ Sarah huskily groaned as Lee belched. Like a fried egg she moistened rapidly…12 Aug 2026 10:09 +0000at://did:plc:2va3thvzdrzpiem3dy76de2p/app.bsky.feed.post/3msuv5wa3wc2khttps://bsky.app/profile/sirmichaeltake.bsky.social/post/3msupvcxvqc2uNon woke ways to watch tonight’s Eclipse: -Take a moth & point him directly at your wife. -Cover eyes with cheese slices & place head in a box. - Take a colander & drain spaghetti whilst listening to Chaka Demus & Pliers. -Remove shoes, stand in bowl of milk & vibrate gently. 🌒12 Aug 2026 08:35 +0000at://did:plc:2va3thvzdrzpiem3dy76de2p/app.bsky.feed.post/3msupvcxvqc2uhttps://bsky.app/profile/sirmichaeltake.bsky.social/post/3mssanve7hs2fI do hope Ben Wallace remembers that Zia Yusuf fought with Lee Anderson in The Battle of The Somme…😉11 Aug 2026 08:57 +0000at://did:plc:2va3thvzdrzpiem3dy76de2p/app.bsky.feed.post/3mssanve7hs2f