I'm pretty tall. I'm an ACSM-certified personal trainer. I like leftist politics, Pokemon, and good books. I can read Italian semi-adequately. I have ADHD.https://bsky.app/profile/claretheamazon.bsky.socialhttps://bsky.app/profile/claretheamazon.bsky.social/post/3mvdpgbvfnc2aI finally got a car rental! I booked economy class ("Mitsubishi Mirage or similar") and ended up being upgraded for free to a Mitsubishi OUTLANDER. I am big pimping for shizzle. It is very nice. I can set the air conditioning to 75.12 Sep 2026 18:26 +0000at://did:plc:4bmcbtppdvutckipopcqqjig/app.bsky.feed.post/3mvdpgbvfnc2ahttps://bsky.app/profile/claretheamazon.bsky.social/post/3mvdigs2uyc2jEvery damn day I get Ashley Hinson mailers and hear Ashley Hinson commercials, and all I'm seeing is a desperate, thirsty asshole who knows she's gonna lose.12 Sep 2026 16:21 +0000at://did:plc:4bmcbtppdvutckipopcqqjig/app.bsky.feed.post/3mvdigs2uyc2jhttps://bsky.app/profile/claretheamazon.bsky.social/post/3mvdcwhilt22iIf you have not seen the film "You Got Served," you must. They hired dancers who can't act, which means the dancing is peak and the entire plot is tacked on. Mawma, it's camp. There's a line where the preppy studious sister says, in all sincerity, "your boy is really tripping," and I died laughing.12 Sep 2026 14:43 +0000at://did:plc:4bmcbtppdvutckipopcqqjig/app.bsky.feed.post/3mvdcwhilt22ihttps://bsky.app/profile/claretheamazon.bsky.social/post/3mvbh25ean22sMan, that Young Republican fuckwit who left an Ashley Hinson flier on my doorknob is lucky I didn't answer when he knocked, I would have told him to get his floppy-haired incel MAGA ass the FUCK off my porch11 Sep 2026 20:51 +0000at://did:plc:4bmcbtppdvutckipopcqqjig/app.bsky.feed.post/3mvbh25ean22shttps://bsky.app/profile/claretheamazon.bsky.social/post/3mvbajupg3s2vOkay fun fact, my husband did NOT successfully fix my car last weekend. He had to order another part and will hopefully finish it tonight. Meanwhile I have been completely without a car all week. Fortunately the only place I HAD to go was Walgreens twice (which is under a mile away). But still.11 Sep 2026 18:55 +0000at://did:plc:4bmcbtppdvutckipopcqqjig/app.bsky.feed.post/3mvbajupg3s2vhttps://bsky.app/profile/claretheamazon.bsky.social/post/3mvb7no5y222qIf you are under 35 years old, you probably don't remember the ABSOLUTE FUCKING STRANGLEHOLD that the Enrique Iglesias song "Hero" had on this nation after 9/11. It was one of many instances where people see the title and don't pay attention to the lyrics (see also: Trump with "Born In The USA").11 Sep 2026 18:39 +0000at://did:plc:4bmcbtppdvutckipopcqqjig/app.bsky.feed.post/3mvb7no5y222qhttps://bsky.app/profile/claretheamazon.bsky.social/post/3mvajctia622eThey didn't accept my pangram 😭11 Sep 2026 11:59 +0000at://did:plc:4bmcbtppdvutckipopcqqjig/app.bsky.feed.post/3mvajctia622ehttps://bsky.app/profile/claretheamazon.bsky.social/post/3mv6mjiogxs23Once you realize that conservative Christian nationalists are basically a death cult, their actions make more sense. They want to speed-run earthly existence so they can go into the loving arms of Jesus, so fuck vaccines, fuck gun control, fuck food safety, WE GOT A HEAVEN TO GET TO ☠️☠️☠️10 Sep 2026 17:51 +0000at://did:plc:4bmcbtppdvutckipopcqqjig/app.bsky.feed.post/3mv6mjiogxs23https://bsky.app/profile/claretheamazon.bsky.social/post/3mv67c5dlf22sMy new fitness goal is to get lean enough again to cosplay Tifa. I am not nearly pretty enough, but few people are. What I DO have is big 'uns, a short torso, and long legs. That's Tifa all the way, baby.10 Sep 2026 13:54 +0000at://did:plc:4bmcbtppdvutckipopcqqjig/app.bsky.feed.post/3mv67c5dlf22shttps://bsky.app/profile/claretheamazon.bsky.social/post/3mv6352deq22wThere are people on Reddit who think that Tifa "should have more defined abs," and I swear to fuckin' god if TIFA LOCKHART is not PERFECT ENOUGH for you, you should throw yourself off a fuckin' fire escape IMMEDIATELY. #FF7 #Cloti https://static.klipy.com/ii/4e7bea9f7a3371424e6c16ebc93252fe/3f/7f/vSK98kdqFkJq5wzPQK.gif?hh=480&ww=270&mp4=IYUfnaP1xVuZ2QyvWyli&webm=x7cDEoqT9wvwGUU6Z10 Sep 2026 12:40 +0000at://did:plc:4bmcbtppdvutckipopcqqjig/app.bsky.feed.post/3mv6352deq22whttps://bsky.app/profile/claretheamazon.bsky.social/post/3mv4wwim5mc2uMen, never try to shame women for having "loose" vaginas. All you're doing is outing yourself as having a small penis. We laugh at you afterwards.10 Sep 2026 01:52 +0000at://did:plc:4bmcbtppdvutckipopcqqjig/app.bsky.feed.post/3mv4wwim5mc2uhttps://bsky.app/profile/claretheamazon.bsky.social/post/3muxvgdhtf227I found out about 9/11 in the most 2001 way possible: through AOL Instant Messenger.08 Sep 2026 01:42 +0000at://did:plc:4bmcbtppdvutckipopcqqjig/app.bsky.feed.post/3muxvgdhtf227https://bsky.app/profile/claretheamazon.bsky.social/post/3muxbmuqjsc2jAs a personal trainer I've worked with a lot of beginners, and I would say "there are no stupid questions," but unfortunately one past client asked me "how's your relationship with Jesus?" during our first session, so. Yes, there ARE stupid questions. (My answer: "fantastic!" It shut her right up!)07 Sep 2026 19:48 +0000at://did:plc:4bmcbtppdvutckipopcqqjig/app.bsky.feed.post/3muxbmuqjsc2jhttps://bsky.app/profile/claretheamazon.bsky.social/post/3muwul3q5n222Level 80! I have been playing this game for almost 4 years and it has truly enriched my life. Thanks to everyone who makes this game fun ❤️ #PokemonGo07 Sep 2026 15:54 +0000at://did:plc:4bmcbtppdvutckipopcqqjig/app.bsky.feed.post/3muwul3q5n222https://bsky.app/profile/claretheamazon.bsky.social/post/3muwtymivmk2yOH MY GOD THIS IS HAPPENING (XP)07 Sep 2026 15:44 +0000at://did:plc:4bmcbtppdvutckipopcqqjig/app.bsky.feed.post/3muwtymivmk2yhttps://bsky.app/profile/claretheamazon.bsky.social/post/3muwqwhk5uk2oMy husband fixed my car this weekend, I dunno what was wrong with it but he said something about an actuator and some kind of shaft and boy I'm glad *somebody* in this house has a Master's degree in mechanical engineering from Ohio State University07 Sep 2026 14:49 +0000at://did:plc:4bmcbtppdvutckipopcqqjig/app.bsky.feed.post/3muwqwhk5uk2ohttps://bsky.app/profile/claretheamazon.bsky.social/post/3muwqjyu2422jBack in college my Wisconsin accent was mocked by a CANADIAN and I have never gotten over it. (To be fair, every other Canadian I have met has been a delight, but imagine having your vowels insulted by a gal who says "aboot")07 Sep 2026 14:42 +0000at://did:plc:4bmcbtppdvutckipopcqqjig/app.bsky.feed.post/3muwqjyu2422jhttps://bsky.app/profile/claretheamazon.bsky.social/post/3muwpdg3awc2bI'm that bitch who -uses a 15-lb bowling ball -doesn't believe in "breakfast food" -squees when I see a cute dog in public -would absolutely tear a rapist's nutsack off with my long, strong fingernails -knows all the words to "Bombs Over Baghdad" and "Baby Got Back"07 Sep 2026 14:20 +0000at://did:plc:4bmcbtppdvutckipopcqqjig/app.bsky.feed.post/3muwpdg3awc2bhttps://bsky.app/profile/claretheamazon.bsky.social/post/3muv4ijalxc26Weekend shiny haul, coming soon to a remote trade pool near you ❤️ (includes a couple hatches) #PokemonGo06 Sep 2026 23:10 +0000at://did:plc:4bmcbtppdvutckipopcqqjig/app.bsky.feed.post/3muv4ijalxc26https://bsky.app/profile/claretheamazon.bsky.social/post/3muurglezdk27Remembering the time in college my anthropology professor played us a video and said "the music makes it sound like Beverly Hills Cop. It's not Beverly Hills Cop, it's Margaret Mead."06 Sep 2026 19:52 +0000at://did:plc:4bmcbtppdvutckipopcqqjig/app.bsky.feed.post/3muurglezdk27https://bsky.app/profile/claretheamazon.bsky.social/post/3muuq2oma3c2xA lot of #PokemonGo players will name their buddy "MIRROR TRADE," to encourage remote traders to select Pokemon they can mirror trade. I think this is a mistake, honestly. Mirror trades should be negotiated in advance, and most players view trades as an opportunity to get something they *need.*06 Sep 2026 19:28 +0000at://did:plc:4bmcbtppdvutckipopcqqjig/app.bsky.feed.post/3muuq2oma3c2xhttps://bsky.app/profile/claretheamazon.bsky.social/post/3muugr3mwrs2pMy family had some big gathering in Wisconsin this weekend and BOTH of my sisters-in-law were texting me about how weird my dad was acting, LOL. Apparently he was trying to recruit a cousin into his religious cult. When it comes to my dad, I love getting the tea from a distance.06 Sep 2026 16:41 +0000at://did:plc:4bmcbtppdvutckipopcqqjig/app.bsky.feed.post/3muugr3mwrs2phttps://bsky.app/profile/claretheamazon.bsky.social/post/3mustlc4xn22oThis is my future senator 😍 [contains quote post or other embedded content]06 Sep 2026 01:26 +0000at://did:plc:4bmcbtppdvutckipopcqqjig/app.bsky.feed.post/3mustlc4xn22ohttps://bsky.app/profile/claretheamazon.bsky.social/post/3musos5j6ac26ANY OF YOU HOOKERS WANT A SHINY TOGEPI? #PokemonGo06 Sep 2026 00:00 +0000at://did:plc:4bmcbtppdvutckipopcqqjig/app.bsky.feed.post/3musos5j6ac26https://bsky.app/profile/claretheamazon.bsky.social/post/3murtojwf5k27My insane son arrived at the event, immediately started loudly bemoaning that the other kids there might have better accounts than him, then spent 20 minutes straight bitching about not seeing any shinies. So yeah, I literally can't bring my child out in public, so that's fun.05 Sep 2026 15:55 +0000at://did:plc:4bmcbtppdvutckipopcqqjig/app.bsky.feed.post/3murtojwf5k27https://bsky.app/profile/claretheamazon.bsky.social/post/3murkogxrac2hMy husband brought home pumpkin spice Dawn Powerwash. I said "WHYYY?" His response: "🤷 it smells good." See, this is why more women file for divorce.05 Sep 2026 13:14 +0000at://did:plc:4bmcbtppdvutckipopcqqjig/app.bsky.feed.post/3murkogxrac2hhttps://bsky.app/profile/claretheamazon.bsky.social/post/3muriarmn5c2fFolks, I am bringing my insane son out to do some Armored Mewtwos this morning and please pray to whatever deity (I'm picking Hephaestus) that this boy does not act too crazy around my fellow nerds. We don't need this loud sixth grader overstimulating the entire local autistic population at 10 AM.05 Sep 2026 12:30 +0000at://did:plc:4bmcbtppdvutckipopcqqjig/app.bsky.feed.post/3muriarmn5c2fhttps://bsky.app/profile/claretheamazon.bsky.social/post/3murbp6b66k2gWhat's up with the total lack of event research in #PokemonGo right now? They couldn't have thrown in some "get assorted mega energy for catch tasks" shit? Some Kalos BG starter in exchange for "win a mega raid?" It's weird, frankly.05 Sep 2026 10:33 +0000at://did:plc:4bmcbtppdvutckipopcqqjig/app.bsky.feed.post/3murbp6b66k2g