Writer for many channels across the Whistleverse. Enjoyer of podcasts and Balatro. DMs are empty.https://bsky.app/profile/matthewmarcum.bsky.socialhttps://bsky.app/profile/matthewmarcum.bsky.social/post/3luxfecpqr22m [contains quote post or other embedded content]27 Jul 2025 15:28 +0000at://did:plc:azvblfehevgytrrtgarfmo75/app.bsky.feed.post/3luxfecpqr22mhttps://bsky.app/profile/matthewmarcum.bsky.social/post/3luoeoo4u6c2n@klaatu82.bsky.social I immediately thought of your puns24 Jul 2025 01:22 +0000at://did:plc:azvblfehevgytrrtgarfmo75/app.bsky.feed.post/3luoeoo4u6c2nhttps://bsky.app/profile/matthewmarcum.bsky.social/post/3lthvx53lfk2zOh, well so long as it’s scam-free sign me up…08 Jul 2025 18:17 +0000at://did:plc:azvblfehevgytrrtgarfmo75/app.bsky.feed.post/3lthvx53lfk2zhttps://bsky.app/profile/matthewmarcum.bsky.social/post/3lthtu2aaik2uTrump just stated he hung Andrew Jackson's painting in the Cabinet Room because he admires him as a president, and he hung James K. Polk's painting beside Jackson's because the frame was same size. Then he said he stole Marco Rubio's clock from his office. Beautiful. No notes.08 Jul 2025 17:40 +0000at://did:plc:azvblfehevgytrrtgarfmo75/app.bsky.feed.post/3lthtu2aaik2uhttps://bsky.app/profile/matthewmarcum.bsky.social/post/3lsmx7d4pq22k>be me >open Reddit >see two articles discussing the supreme court’s decision on federal injunctions (AKA the big one) >”wow, a lot less panicking than I was expecting.” >scroll down >see at least 20 posts foaming at the mouth over ID verifications for porn Never change, Reddit.28 Jun 2025 00:58 +0000at://did:plc:azvblfehevgytrrtgarfmo75/app.bsky.feed.post/3lsmx7d4pq22khttps://bsky.app/profile/matthewmarcum.bsky.social/post/3lsk6bpzzrk22I don’t envy the people who will someday attempt to write books about this period in American culture/politics. Everything is moving so quickly. Nobody can keep track. The nation is fracturing. Photoshopped memes of @jd-vance-1.bsky.social are being shown in congress. What a time to be alive.26 Jun 2025 22:27 +0000at://did:plc:azvblfehevgytrrtgarfmo75/app.bsky.feed.post/3lsk6bpzzrk22https://bsky.app/profile/matthewmarcum.bsky.social/post/3lsaettsj7c2g"Our Plate Up crew carefully explaining why the restaurant was shuttered after the kitchen caught fire and there was nowhere to cut and plate the pizza because all the tables and counter space was taken up by dirty plates and god dammit, Rubio, you were on dishes!"23 Jun 2025 00:57 +0000at://did:plc:azvblfehevgytrrtgarfmo75/app.bsky.feed.post/3lsaettsj7c2ghttps://bsky.app/profile/matthewmarcum.bsky.social/post/3lre56o3nrs24The man, the myth, the legend: https://youtu.be/FmlhA3dpxnc?si=D6v1J-Skgsr7vQ1111 Jun 2025 19:26 +0000at://did:plc:azvblfehevgytrrtgarfmo75/app.bsky.feed.post/3lre56o3nrs24https://bsky.app/profile/matthewmarcum.bsky.social/post/3lr57bvugec2aSomething I’ve learned: when you’re in the mood for a genuinely entertaining read that doesn’t feel preachy, scan the shelf for the cheesiest cover you can find, novella length, written in the 60s, 70s, or 80s… So, so many gems. I’ve yet to find a dud…09 Jun 2025 01:15 +0000at://did:plc:azvblfehevgytrrtgarfmo75/app.bsky.feed.post/3lr57bvugec2ahttps://bsky.app/profile/matthewmarcum.bsky.social/post/3lqcptp53pk2hThe amount of political capital that Israel has exhausted around the world since October 7th is insane…29 May 2025 12:29 +0000at://did:plc:azvblfehevgytrrtgarfmo75/app.bsky.feed.post/3lqcptp53pk2hhttps://bsky.app/profile/matthewmarcum.bsky.social/post/3lp3yytdbgs2xI mean, sure. Why not?14 May 2025 02:59 +0000at://did:plc:azvblfehevgytrrtgarfmo75/app.bsky.feed.post/3lp3yytdbgs2xhttps://bsky.app/profile/matthewmarcum.bsky.social/post/3lotfpbv6k226Dang, I didn’t expect to convert to Catholicism, but Ameri-Pope is making a strong case by prioritizing this conversation… https://apnews.com/article/pope-leo-vision-papacy-artificial-intelligence-36d29e37a11620b594b9b7c0574cc35810 May 2025 16:53 +0000at://did:plc:azvblfehevgytrrtgarfmo75/app.bsky.feed.post/3lotfpbv6k226https://bsky.app/profile/matthewmarcum.bsky.social/post/3lotdipkhf226"I will go to Costco on a weekend for Pakistan!" "WOOOOOOW! He's going to be a soldier in a big battle for Pakistan! That's greaaaat!"10 May 2025 16:13 +0000at://did:plc:azvblfehevgytrrtgarfmo75/app.bsky.feed.post/3lotdipkhf226https://bsky.app/profile/matthewmarcum.bsky.social/post/3ln2wcrccfs2hI've come to the conclusion that far away construction noises involving large steel cables sound unnervingly like angry whispers outside your bedroom window at 2am... I don't think l've been that chilled since I was a kid...18 Apr 2025 05:48 +0000at://did:plc:azvblfehevgytrrtgarfmo75/app.bsky.feed.post/3ln2wcrccfs2hhttps://bsky.app/profile/matthewmarcum.bsky.social/post/3lm2ww7jalc2iWell, Taylor Schabusiness has attacked yet another attorney while appearing in court for attacking a prison nurse… https://youtu.be/1FtuhFcC1Wk?si=wTSIWrM5OryZJeZm05 Apr 2025 12:34 +0000at://did:plc:azvblfehevgytrrtgarfmo75/app.bsky.feed.post/3lm2ww7jalc2ihttps://bsky.app/profile/matthewmarcum.bsky.social/post/3llz7wqm3w22vI’m trying out something new today… give it a listen and tell me what you think :) https://youtu.be/uDnzF0pq-VE?si=xpOoMADdLbUnLjUd04 Apr 2025 20:10 +0000at://did:plc:azvblfehevgytrrtgarfmo75/app.bsky.feed.post/3llz7wqm3w22vhttps://bsky.app/profile/matthewmarcum.bsky.social/post/3ll5y36nmic2rFor me the biggest takeaway from this whole Signal group chat thing is that JD, Pete Hegseth, and the rest all seem to legitimately believe that the EU has been taking financial advantage of the US. It’s not just posturing…25 Mar 2025 00:07 +0000at://did:plc:azvblfehevgytrrtgarfmo75/app.bsky.feed.post/3ll5y36nmic2rhttps://bsky.app/profile/matthewmarcum.bsky.social/post/3lku4mcwt5k2dI just saw “vegetarian tater tots” on a menu, so needless to say I have a lot of questions…21 Mar 2025 02:02 +0000at://did:plc:azvblfehevgytrrtgarfmo75/app.bsky.feed.post/3lku4mcwt5k2dhttps://bsky.app/profile/matthewmarcum.bsky.social/post/3lk4lyvge5c2qSometimes I keep my girlfriend updated on the stock market... But I do it in fun little ways:11 Mar 2025 17:33 +0000at://did:plc:azvblfehevgytrrtgarfmo75/app.bsky.feed.post/3lk4lyvge5c2qhttps://bsky.app/profile/matthewmarcum.bsky.social/post/3ljo4i4k34c2fI’ll just leave this here for no particular reason: https://youtu.be/rfbzvom7dcY?si=xcj2tPxfUN8OySHg05 Mar 2025 23:18 +0000at://did:plc:azvblfehevgytrrtgarfmo75/app.bsky.feed.post/3ljo4i4k34c2fhttps://bsky.app/profile/matthewmarcum.bsky.social/post/3ljbgmztup225Trump is playing some of the most impressive, biggly-brained 4D Chess I’ve ever seen! —so impressive, in fact, I can’t even keep up with him! To the layman, it looks like incompetence, but that’s just all part of the plan. Many people are saying this. Many brilliant people. WWIII averted!!!28 Feb 2025 22:15 +0000at://did:plc:azvblfehevgytrrtgarfmo75/app.bsky.feed.post/3ljbgmztup225https://bsky.app/profile/matthewmarcum.bsky.social/post/3liz5hj2dzs2jI’ve spent the better part of a decade receiving periodic spam messages for someone named “Bob,” and it’s only now, in 2025, that I realize it’s because I used to put “Bob Saget” as my name for everything online as a teenager lol25 Feb 2025 15:10 +0000at://did:plc:azvblfehevgytrrtgarfmo75/app.bsky.feed.post/3liz5hj2dzs2jhttps://bsky.app/profile/matthewmarcum.bsky.social/post/3lipo3xg2tc2z“Scroll—scroll—scroll—scroll—till your life has meaning again.” - a random reddit user21 Feb 2025 20:41 +0000at://did:plc:azvblfehevgytrrtgarfmo75/app.bsky.feed.post/3lipo3xg2tc2zhttps://bsky.app/profile/matthewmarcum.bsky.social/post/3lig4jwkh522uHow do we collectively convince Hollywood that the best way to make people hate an actor/actress is to put them in literally everything for like 5 years straight?18 Feb 2025 01:33 +0000at://did:plc:azvblfehevgytrrtgarfmo75/app.bsky.feed.post/3lig4jwkh522uhttps://bsky.app/profile/matthewmarcum.bsky.social/post/3lidj3t4kxk2fDoes advertising actually work on people anymore? I ask because I feel like my brain has been reprogram to ignore anything that even resembles an ad… It’s like I hear static as soon as I realize someone is trying to sell me something. My eyes simply refuse to focus on pop-ups…17 Feb 2025 00:39 +0000at://did:plc:azvblfehevgytrrtgarfmo75/app.bsky.feed.post/3lidj3t4kxk2fhttps://bsky.app/profile/matthewmarcum.bsky.social/post/3lhmfz6p4mc27Sarah Boone? More like Sarah BANE, amirite!? Enjoy the video. https://youtube.com/watch?v=eiwmRlDz99s07 Feb 2025 20:13 +0000at://did:plc:azvblfehevgytrrtgarfmo75/app.bsky.feed.post/3lhmfz6p4mc27https://bsky.app/profile/matthewmarcum.bsky.social/post/3lhlzpuffmc2xLooks like there’s a pretty good chance one of my CasCrim scripts will be dropping later today, and it’s a fun one. My only regret is not handwriting it on 58 pages of loose-leaf notebook paper to submit via snail mail…07 Feb 2025 16:33 +0000at://did:plc:azvblfehevgytrrtgarfmo75/app.bsky.feed.post/3lhlzpuffmc2xhttps://bsky.app/profile/matthewmarcum.bsky.social/post/3lhjexkftmk2bMy last several scripts have all been between 10k and 14k words, so it’s very strange to be working on shorter scripts again. Editing is a breeze.06 Feb 2025 15:16 +0000at://did:plc:azvblfehevgytrrtgarfmo75/app.bsky.feed.post/3lhjexkftmk2b