@markedly.bsky.social - mark magark

30 Oct 2026 17:33 +0000

YOOO where my weak and weary ponderers at??? [airhorn]

15 Oct 2026 23:39 +0000

Lmao

11 Oct 2026 23:20 +0000

What if you get to Heaven and God is like “Aaaah, a ghost!!”

02 Oct 2026 13:10 +0000

“You aren’t in traffic, you ARE the traffic.” Nuh-uh. Not me. I’m different. Better. Other drivers want me here

08 Sep 2026 21:25 +0000

[to the tune of I love rock and roll] I hate all my clothes

15 Aug 2026 01:19 +0000

Do you ever hear a priest sing the Eucharistic prayer and be like “damn this mfer got pipes”

13 Aug 2026 16:58 +0000

I do not wish to think of Ed Sheeran as a sexual being

08 Aug 2026 15:30 +0000

Oh sorry buddy I didn’t know this bathroom was occupied

25 Jul 2026 17:50 +0000

What’s the name of the chemical they pump through the air at Home Depot to make you think you need 16 more items

22 Jul 2026 16:50 +0000

Damn, guitar is out of tune again. Can't believe how often you have to buy a new one of these

18 Jul 2026 18:56 +0000

Why didn’t the Trojan horse include a penis. Huge tactical oversight. Coulda fit way more dudes in that horse’s dick

16 Jul 2026 20:11 +0000

I am not boiling lettuce I'd rather explode with diarrhea

14 Jul 2026 14:04 +0000

Always the ice tray refiller, never the ice cube enjoyer 😤

12 Jul 2026 21:09 +0000

From the platform, I catch the train conductor's eye. I smile and wink. He smiles. The train horn blows. It's obvious what's happening. He wants me to jump onto the track so he can smush me.

10 Jul 2026 00:48 +0000

How can you ask me to set the printer up when you KNOW I'm having spaghetti time

09 Jul 2026 01:15 +0000

Me: [touches grass] Grass: Security

23 Jun 2026 22:00 +0000

Car Horn Honk Scale < 1 second =This saint deserves no inconvenience. Jail for their wrong-doer! 1-2 seconds = Purely human. We all struggle, baby. 3-5 seconds = God’s wrath is present. This driver is having a terrible day. > 5 seconds = The Antichrist. The architect of all evil is a-honkin’.

21 Jun 2026 14:07 +0000

Not to brag but I'm capable of looking at the extended weather forecast and holding the details in my head for up to 12 seconds

12 Jun 2026 17:02 +0000

Wife: It's too hot, I simply cannot wear a bra today Me (cis-male but an ally): [gritting teeth] Then I will

12 Jun 2026 03:00 +0000

I am loved 🥰

05 Jun 2026 23:11 +0000

[Wild West] What'd you say to me, pardner? *spits on the ground* Why, you ain't nothing but a

04 Jun 2026 02:13 +0000

Love watching the game in New York. Strangers shouting “Oh no you don’t, big boy” every time Wemby shoots

31 May 2026 02:27 +0000

1. It makes you feel cool as hell

29 May 2026 20:22 +0000

Sheep Detectives? What's next, Ostrich Accountants? I hope not. I don't want to live in this world.

27 May 2026 15:59 +0000

[clearly not wearing earbuds] sorry I can’t hear you I’m wearing earbuds