“Orlando's Reigning Big Time Celebrity Author” - The Orlando Weekly huuuuge lesbian. librarian. dad. floridian. beer drinker. NYT Bestselling author. Mostly Dead Things & WITH TEETH & STOP ME IF YOU’VE HEARD THIS ONE https://www.kristenarnettwriter.comhttps://bsky.app/profile/kristenarnett.bsky.socialhttps://bsky.app/profile/kristenarnett.bsky.social/post/3mt3lt2onzk2wthis meeting could have benihana15 Aug 2026 02:10 +0000at://did:plc:bpttdhcyjtxfvsffv7yc5obn/app.bsky.feed.post/3mt3lt2onzk2whttps://bsky.app/profile/kristenarnett.bsky.social/post/3mstkxl6vf22pi just want you to know i would NEVER beat a horse, dead or alive11 Aug 2026 21:34 +0000at://did:plc:bpttdhcyjtxfvsffv7yc5obn/app.bsky.feed.post/3mstkxl6vf22phttps://bsky.app/profile/kristenarnett.bsky.social/post/3mqwwab4hj22osometimes all it takes to fix your life is a fresh piping hot basket of chicken tenders18 Jul 2026 18:43 +0000at://did:plc:bpttdhcyjtxfvsffv7yc5obn/app.bsky.feed.post/3mqwwab4hj22ohttps://bsky.app/profile/kristenarnett.bsky.social/post/3mqacybfhsc2j[me watching someone kiss a frog] you are not respecting that frogs boundaries09 Jul 2026 19:00 +0000at://did:plc:bpttdhcyjtxfvsffv7yc5obn/app.bsky.feed.post/3mqacybfhsc2jhttps://bsky.app/profile/kristenarnett.bsky.social/post/3mq3kpa4ghc2jgonna start muttering “great northern bean!” every time something mystifies or astounds me07 Jul 2026 21:35 +0000at://did:plc:bpttdhcyjtxfvsffv7yc5obn/app.bsky.feed.post/3mq3kpa4ghc2jhttps://bsky.app/profile/kristenarnett.bsky.social/post/3mpmwdczyg22e“celebrate good times, come on,” she threatened02 Jul 2026 01:53 +0000at://did:plc:bpttdhcyjtxfvsffv7yc5obn/app.bsky.feed.post/3mpmwdczyg22ehttps://bsky.app/profile/kristenarnett.bsky.social/post/3mpjyex4nuk2ha little less ai and a lot more ayyyy i’m walkin here30 Jun 2026 21:52 +0000at://did:plc:bpttdhcyjtxfvsffv7yc5obn/app.bsky.feed.post/3mpjyex4nuk2hhttps://bsky.app/profile/kristenarnett.bsky.social/post/3mp2ldpwhdc2olisten, i’m not gonna apologize for party rocking. i’m in charge of my own life, i’ll live however i damn well please24 Jun 2026 18:48 +0000at://did:plc:bpttdhcyjtxfvsffv7yc5obn/app.bsky.feed.post/3mp2ldpwhdc2ohttps://bsky.app/profile/kristenarnett.bsky.social/post/3mobteg4za22rwhy art thou like this14 Jun 2026 22:35 +0000at://did:plc:bpttdhcyjtxfvsffv7yc5obn/app.bsky.feed.post/3mobteg4za22rhttps://bsky.app/profile/kristenarnett.bsky.social/post/3mo4q7qlhtk2cyes this did make me cry, yes i did send in a video of myself accepting this prize with my phone wedged between two boxed wines, yes i feel deeply loved, and yes it is humbling to share this experience and great honor with the first ever recipient of this prize, my hero, my star, dorothy allison12 Jun 2026 21:56 +0000at://did:plc:bpttdhcyjtxfvsffv7yc5obn/app.bsky.feed.post/3mo4q7qlhtk2chttps://bsky.app/profile/kristenarnett.bsky.social/post/3mnpwbk5c5s2tlet’s make this hollywood a hollyhome07 Jun 2026 19:39 +0000at://did:plc:bpttdhcyjtxfvsffv7yc5obn/app.bsky.feed.post/3mnpwbk5c5s2thttps://bsky.app/profile/kristenarnett.bsky.social/post/3mnmg5a34m22bi can’t believe i’m saying this, but a 6am flight is top tier. the people watching is next level and half the plane is empty because no one wants to get up and/or they slept through their alarm06 Jun 2026 10:13 +0000at://did:plc:bpttdhcyjtxfvsffv7yc5obn/app.bsky.feed.post/3mnmg5a34m22bhttps://bsky.app/profile/kristenarnett.bsky.social/post/3mnigizdgk22astarted a thing where i teach my cat a new word while simultaneously tipping my hat to him; today’s word is “cornichon”04 Jun 2026 20:09 +0000at://did:plc:bpttdhcyjtxfvsffv7yc5obn/app.bsky.feed.post/3mnigizdgk22ahttps://bsky.app/profile/kristenarnett.bsky.social/post/3mnfjrb3vv22nmy wife has started calling my low pony “colonitail” because she says it makes me look like a founding father03 Jun 2026 16:29 +0000at://did:plc:bpttdhcyjtxfvsffv7yc5obn/app.bsky.feed.post/3mnfjrb3vv22nhttps://bsky.app/profile/kristenarnett.bsky.social/post/3mnaa646p3k25every month is gay pride month because i am living in it01 Jun 2026 13:54 +0000at://did:plc:bpttdhcyjtxfvsffv7yc5obn/app.bsky.feed.post/3mnaa646p3k25https://bsky.app/profile/kristenarnett.bsky.social/post/3mmtomshhus2fanyone can be “girl” if you include a quick “fuck you” immediately after27 May 2026 14:08 +0000at://did:plc:bpttdhcyjtxfvsffv7yc5obn/app.bsky.feed.post/3mmtomshhus2fhttps://bsky.app/profile/kristenarnett.bsky.social/post/3mmr6r62xr22v[going in for a vision test, the doctor peering into my eyes with a light, then scribbling something on their clipboard] bro you can’t see SHIT26 May 2026 14:19 +0000at://did:plc:bpttdhcyjtxfvsffv7yc5obn/app.bsky.feed.post/3mmr6r62xr22vhttps://bsky.app/profile/kristenarnett.bsky.social/post/3mmhrswk6tk2eif a dog looks at me weird it will ruin the rest of my day, like what the hell man. what kind of evil secretly lurks inside of me that made that happen22 May 2026 20:33 +0000at://did:plc:bpttdhcyjtxfvsffv7yc5obn/app.bsky.feed.post/3mmhrswk6tk2ehttps://bsky.app/profile/kristenarnett.bsky.social/post/3mma4yqwcbs2fnot all that interested in visiting planet fitness but i could be persuaded to try out other spots in the galaxy, such as planet naptime or planet two-for-one margaritas19 May 2026 19:32 +0000at://did:plc:bpttdhcyjtxfvsffv7yc5obn/app.bsky.feed.post/3mma4yqwcbs2f