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<rss version="2.0"><channel><description>Garbage Ape in the streets, Jimmy in the sheets. A nice lad from St. Louis. I invented uncrustables. I lie about having invented uncrustables. Crusts are cool.</description><link>https://bsky.app/profile/andyk.bsky.social</link><title>@andyk.bsky.social - Andy</title><item><link>https://bsky.app/profile/andyk.bsky.social/post/3mezaxhnlck2l</link><description>Happy Birthday to Charles Taze Russell, founder of what became The Jehovah&#39;s Witness cult.</description><pubDate>16 Feb 2026 23:58 +0000</pubDate><guid isPermaLink="false">at://did:plc:csd4ugbqd2dsymek3kbgnulj/app.bsky.feed.post/3mezaxhnlck2l</guid></item><item><link>https://bsky.app/profile/andyk.bsky.social/post/3md6uf737222s</link><description>This blizzard is pretty wild. Numerous close calls and intense white knuckle driving. But I had to do it. People rely on me at this Smoothie King.</description><pubDate>24 Jan 2026 18:38 +0000</pubDate><guid isPermaLink="false">at://did:plc:csd4ugbqd2dsymek3kbgnulj/app.bsky.feed.post/3md6uf737222s</guid></item><item><link>https://bsky.app/profile/andyk.bsky.social/post/3mccw75hnuk2h</link><description>I didn&#39;t watch the Golden Globes. Did they give out the podcast award in 2x speed?</description><pubDate>13 Jan 2026 15:56 +0000</pubDate><guid isPermaLink="false">at://did:plc:csd4ugbqd2dsymek3kbgnulj/app.bsky.feed.post/3mccw75hnuk2h</guid></item><item><link>https://bsky.app/profile/andyk.bsky.social/post/3m44ejqyr622d</link><description>I&#39;m going to start pestering every shopkeeper about obtaining an unbreakable medieval guitar made of amber. I must have a resolute resin lute.</description><pubDate>26 Oct 2025 16:53 +0000</pubDate><guid isPermaLink="false">at://did:plc:csd4ugbqd2dsymek3kbgnulj/app.bsky.feed.post/3m44ejqyr622d</guid></item><item><link>https://bsky.app/profile/andyk.bsky.social/post/3m33syoqkqk2z</link><description>All Pops are Castards.</description><pubDate>13 Oct 2025 18:14 +0000</pubDate><guid isPermaLink="false">at://did:plc:csd4ugbqd2dsymek3kbgnulj/app.bsky.feed.post/3m33syoqkqk2z</guid></item><item><link>https://bsky.app/profile/andyk.bsky.social/post/3lzyrc4oor22h</link><description>Jacob Elordi doesn&#39;t have the orange cat energy required to play Heathcliff.</description><pubDate>29 Sep 2025 19:40 +0000</pubDate><guid isPermaLink="false">at://did:plc:csd4ugbqd2dsymek3kbgnulj/app.bsky.feed.post/3lzyrc4oor22h</guid></item><item><link>https://bsky.app/profile/andyk.bsky.social/post/3lzk4bl57gk2s</link><description>I bet nobody loves Charlie Kirk enough to get this portrait tattooed on them.</description><pubDate>23 Sep 2025 23:47 +0000</pubDate><guid isPermaLink="false">at://did:plc:csd4ugbqd2dsymek3kbgnulj/app.bsky.feed.post/3lzk4bl57gk2s</guid></item><item><link>https://bsky.app/profile/andyk.bsky.social/post/3lwkuv7lyvc2h</link><description>We&#39;re out there. Dreaming of this ham. Together.&#xA;&#xA;[contains quote post or other embedded content]</description><pubDate>17 Aug 2025 02:52 +0000</pubDate><guid isPermaLink="false">at://did:plc:csd4ugbqd2dsymek3kbgnulj/app.bsky.feed.post/3lwkuv7lyvc2h</guid></item><item><link>https://bsky.app/profile/andyk.bsky.social/post/3lvyd3cdsdc2f</link><description>Look at these fancy-ass minions.</description><pubDate>09 Aug 2025 17:45 +0000</pubDate><guid isPermaLink="false">at://did:plc:csd4ugbqd2dsymek3kbgnulj/app.bsky.feed.post/3lvyd3cdsdc2f</guid></item><item><link>https://bsky.app/profile/andyk.bsky.social/post/3lvjwyw6ia224</link><description>It&#39;s a shame that @slicexpo.bsky.social was unable to secure Peter Gallagher (Heathcliff). Maybe 2026 will be the year.</description><pubDate>04 Aug 2025 00:32 +0000</pubDate><guid isPermaLink="false">at://did:plc:csd4ugbqd2dsymek3kbgnulj/app.bsky.feed.post/3lvjwyw6ia224</guid></item><item><link>https://bsky.app/profile/andyk.bsky.social/post/3luix2xnbl22d</link><description>Progressive says they invented the Name Your Price Tool but members of the Republican party go back further than that. 😎&#xA;&#xA;#badboyofcomedy</description><pubDate>21 Jul 2025 21:35 +0000</pubDate><guid isPermaLink="false">at://did:plc:csd4ugbqd2dsymek3kbgnulj/app.bsky.feed.post/3luix2xnbl22d</guid></item><item><link>https://bsky.app/profile/andyk.bsky.social/post/3lthfiy33v22e</link><description>I&#39;ll be honest- I have no idea what The Rock was cooking.</description><pubDate>08 Jul 2025 13:23 +0000</pubDate><guid isPermaLink="false">at://did:plc:csd4ugbqd2dsymek3kbgnulj/app.bsky.feed.post/3lthfiy33v22e</guid></item><item><link>https://bsky.app/profile/andyk.bsky.social/post/3lszmvtrmak2p</link><description>I&#39;ve been everywhere, man. &#xA;I&#39;ve been everywhere, man. &#xA;Crossed the desert in a plane and come to think of it there&#39;s a lot of places I haven&#39;t been so I&#39;m sorry I misled you, man.</description><pubDate>03 Jul 2025 01:58 +0000</pubDate><guid isPermaLink="false">at://did:plc:csd4ugbqd2dsymek3kbgnulj/app.bsky.feed.post/3lszmvtrmak2p</guid></item><item><link>https://bsky.app/profile/andyk.bsky.social/post/3lsmrdi3qsk22</link><description>Ancient goatse meme</description><pubDate>27 Jun 2025 23:13 +0000</pubDate><guid isPermaLink="false">at://did:plc:csd4ugbqd2dsymek3kbgnulj/app.bsky.feed.post/3lsmrdi3qsk22</guid></item><item><link>https://bsky.app/profile/andyk.bsky.social/post/3lrqwt5oa7s2f</link><description>There were actually TWO things &#34;that&#34; Meatloaf wouldn&#39;t do for love: &#xA;1. Pilates&#xA;2. Work the word &#34;Pilates&#34; into the beat.</description><pubDate>16 Jun 2025 21:37 +0000</pubDate><guid isPermaLink="false">at://did:plc:csd4ugbqd2dsymek3kbgnulj/app.bsky.feed.post/3lrqwt5oa7s2f</guid></item><item><link>https://bsky.app/profile/andyk.bsky.social/post/3lrlgumi7s22i</link><description>Today&#39;s kids can&#39;t call or write you a letter. And forget about seeing on the fourth of July or leaving a note that says uh woah oh, it&#39;s been good a living with you.</description><pubDate>14 Jun 2025 17:08 +0000</pubDate><guid isPermaLink="false">at://did:plc:csd4ugbqd2dsymek3kbgnulj/app.bsky.feed.post/3lrlgumi7s22i</guid></item><item><link>https://bsky.app/profile/andyk.bsky.social/post/3lrgjbgrctk2d</link><description>I did it again, folks. I have, once again, placed my entire life savings on the line betting that @pftompkins.bsky.social is going to win After Midnight. Now, it&#39;s not as much as last time (because I lost everything) but if this goes wrong I&#39;ll have to sell organs. No presh.</description><pubDate>12 Jun 2025 18:07 +0000</pubDate><guid isPermaLink="false">at://did:plc:csd4ugbqd2dsymek3kbgnulj/app.bsky.feed.post/3lrgjbgrctk2d</guid></item><item><link>https://bsky.app/profile/andyk.bsky.social/post/3lrggik6clc2d</link><description>One more episode of After Midnight to go, then I can cancel Paramount+.</description><pubDate>12 Jun 2025 17:18 +0000</pubDate><guid isPermaLink="false">at://did:plc:csd4ugbqd2dsymek3kbgnulj/app.bsky.feed.post/3lrggik6clc2d</guid></item><item><link>https://bsky.app/profile/andyk.bsky.social/post/3lr43rc2gz22j</link><description>@gamechangershow.bsky.social is afraid to have Eliza Skinner and Todd Glass pitch (terrible) products.</description><pubDate>08 Jun 2025 14:39 +0000</pubDate><guid isPermaLink="false">at://did:plc:csd4ugbqd2dsymek3kbgnulj/app.bsky.feed.post/3lr43rc2gz22j</guid></item><item><link>https://bsky.app/profile/andyk.bsky.social/post/3lr43naphqk2j</link><description>&#34;I want Team Sonic Racing!&#34;&#xA;&#34;We have Team Sonic Racing at home.&#34;&#xA;Team Sonic Racing at home:</description><pubDate>08 Jun 2025 14:37 +0000</pubDate><guid isPermaLink="false">at://did:plc:csd4ugbqd2dsymek3kbgnulj/app.bsky.feed.post/3lr43naphqk2j</guid></item><item><link>https://bsky.app/profile/andyk.bsky.social/post/3lr2xk3a7ck2b</link><description>Most people don&#39;t remember this but from 1965 until she was reimagined in 1975, Hello Kitty had a subtly different design.</description><pubDate>08 Jun 2025 03:51 +0000</pubDate><guid isPermaLink="false">at://did:plc:csd4ugbqd2dsymek3kbgnulj/app.bsky.feed.post/3lr2xk3a7ck2b</guid></item><item><link>https://bsky.app/profile/andyk.bsky.social/post/3lr2ln6vmps2b</link><description>LOOK, I&#39;M JUST SAYING THAT GALACTUS SHOULD HAVE A BIG MUSTACHE AND HE SHOULD SAY, &#34;EARTH: IT&#39;S WHAT&#39;S FOR DINNER,&#34; AND THEN WE&#39;LL ALL APPLAUD AND LEAVE AND HAVE SEX.</description><pubDate>08 Jun 2025 00:18 +0000</pubDate><guid isPermaLink="false">at://did:plc:csd4ugbqd2dsymek3kbgnulj/app.bsky.feed.post/3lr2ln6vmps2b</guid></item><item><link>https://bsky.app/profile/andyk.bsky.social/post/3lr2lekggek2f</link><description>Make Twitter* Fun Again&#xA;&#xA;*This place. This place is Twitter. X is X. Dumb people not being funny: X. Deep breath. Fart noise.</description><pubDate>08 Jun 2025 00:13 +0000</pubDate><guid isPermaLink="false">at://did:plc:csd4ugbqd2dsymek3kbgnulj/app.bsky.feed.post/3lr2lekggek2f</guid></item><item><link>https://bsky.app/profile/andyk.bsky.social/post/3lqko4fy3kk2s</link><description>Fun fact: The movie Paint Your Wagon gets its name from the scene where there is uncontrolled horse diarrhea.</description><pubDate>01 Jun 2025 16:19 +0000</pubDate><guid isPermaLink="false">at://did:plc:csd4ugbqd2dsymek3kbgnulj/app.bsky.feed.post/3lqko4fy3kk2s</guid></item><item><link>https://bsky.app/profile/andyk.bsky.social/post/3lpph4bnhps2n</link><description>How much for that doggy in the window? The one that doesn&#39;t practice santeria?</description><pubDate>21 May 2025 20:32 +0000</pubDate><guid isPermaLink="false">at://did:plc:csd4ugbqd2dsymek3kbgnulj/app.bsky.feed.post/3lpph4bnhps2n</guid></item><item><link>https://bsky.app/profile/andyk.bsky.social/post/3loty7saczk2s</link><description>He&#39;s not the bonus dad. He&#39;s just the dad that bones us.</description><pubDate>10 May 2025 22:24 +0000</pubDate><guid isPermaLink="false">at://did:plc:csd4ugbqd2dsymek3kbgnulj/app.bsky.feed.post/3loty7saczk2s</guid></item><item><link>https://bsky.app/profile/andyk.bsky.social/post/3lotgae3sx22m</link><description>New Trump executive order demands that @smithsonianmag.bsky.social mirror the art direction of 70s hotrod magazines.</description><pubDate>10 May 2025 17:02 +0000</pubDate><guid isPermaLink="false">at://did:plc:csd4ugbqd2dsymek3kbgnulj/app.bsky.feed.post/3lotgae3sx22m</guid></item><item><link>https://bsky.app/profile/andyk.bsky.social/post/3loosxtzx6k25</link><description>I&#39;m going to reserve judgement until I see his thighs peaking out of his vestments but so far this new Pope isn&#39;t making me horny.</description><pubDate>08 May 2025 21:07 +0000</pubDate><guid isPermaLink="false">at://did:plc:csd4ugbqd2dsymek3kbgnulj/app.bsky.feed.post/3loosxtzx6k25</guid></item><item><link>https://bsky.app/profile/andyk.bsky.social/post/3locph53h3c2s</link><description>Should I stay up late? Binge the latest Star Wars show? It&#39;s a real and/or situation.</description><pubDate>04 May 2025 01:32 +0000</pubDate><guid isPermaLink="false">at://did:plc:csd4ugbqd2dsymek3kbgnulj/app.bsky.feed.post/3locph53h3c2s</guid></item><item><link>https://bsky.app/profile/andyk.bsky.social/post/3lo5jixonpc2t</link><description>I&#39;m working on a new Pokemon series for HBO. It&#39;s pretty hush hush, but the opening scene features a trainer beginning a battle against a squirtle. They call forth bulbasaur. There&#39;s blood everywhere. Bulbasaur has been vivisected in his pokeball. How? Find out on True Detective Pikachu.</description><pubDate>02 May 2025 00:02 +0000</pubDate><guid isPermaLink="false">at://did:plc:csd4ugbqd2dsymek3kbgnulj/app.bsky.feed.post/3lo5jixonpc2t</guid></item></channel></rss>