Screenwriter. Repped at Navigation Media Group. WGAW. 2019 Young & Hungry List. 2025 Black List. Multi-Time Recipient of Captcha “I Am Not a Robot” Certification. He/him.https://bsky.app/profile/patrickpittis.bsky.socialhttps://bsky.app/profile/patrickpittis.bsky.social/post/3mqgz427v2k2pLindsey Graham? Right to hell, right away https://static.klipy.com/ii/39f2394ae36df6e199be9eb7c9fa1012/e7/2e/ttcRsQMq.gif?hh=138&ww=240&mp4=CkVH3J3ZQvVZ6&webm=e0XphFaWh7ww1pCLd12 Jul 2026 10:52 +0000at://did:plc:dht24twfaom7f6325ykdd27c/app.bsky.feed.post/3mqgz427v2k2phttps://bsky.app/profile/patrickpittis.bsky.social/post/3mogguozfrk23Heard they wanted to reboot The Six Million Dollar Man. But due to inflation he’d now be The Forty Million Seven Hundred Eighty-Five Thousand Seven Hundred Sixty Dollar and Sixty-Five Cents Man. Which just didn’t test well with audiences16 Jun 2026 18:35 +0000at://did:plc:dht24twfaom7f6325ykdd27c/app.bsky.feed.post/3mogguozfrk23https://bsky.app/profile/patrickpittis.bsky.social/post/3mnkkhga2i22205 Jun 2026 16:25 +0000at://did:plc:dht24twfaom7f6325ykdd27c/app.bsky.feed.post/3mnkkhga2i222https://bsky.app/profile/patrickpittis.bsky.social/post/3mjhsxvqyjs2f“Today, on National Dolphin Day, we will sacrifice this dolphin.” [contains quote post or other embedded content]14 Apr 2026 16:38 +0000at://did:plc:dht24twfaom7f6325ykdd27c/app.bsky.feed.post/3mjhsxvqyjs2fhttps://bsky.app/profile/patrickpittis.bsky.social/post/3mirnqfufes2eOne of the world’s greatest tricks was convincing Satan that he isn’t real.05 Apr 2026 21:06 +0000at://did:plc:dht24twfaom7f6325ykdd27c/app.bsky.feed.post/3mirnqfufes2ehttps://bsky.app/profile/patrickpittis.bsky.social/post/3mir32gwhkc2pMy eldest is learning about aspect ratios. So far it’s just in the context of “Dad, I don’t want to watch any of those old ‘square’ shows right now.” But hey, gotta start somewhere 😂05 Apr 2026 15:32 +0000at://did:plc:dht24twfaom7f6325ykdd27c/app.bsky.feed.post/3mir32gwhkc2phttps://bsky.app/profile/patrickpittis.bsky.social/post/3mhjqk6lpvs2fI know he’s had a whole lot of issues over the years, but this is still a bummer.21 Mar 2026 00:10 +0000at://did:plc:dht24twfaom7f6325ykdd27c/app.bsky.feed.post/3mhjqk6lpvs2fhttps://bsky.app/profile/patrickpittis.bsky.social/post/3mh7ncmmopk2mThis is so sad. I’m sick of these “executives” who proudly hate TV. And I know people were nervous whether a reboot could capture that magic. I was. And I love Buffy. The original is my favorite series. But having read the pilot, this series could have been amazing. Dead now cuz of one asshole.16 Mar 2026 23:45 +0000at://did:plc:dht24twfaom7f6325ykdd27c/app.bsky.feed.post/3mh7ncmmopk2mhttps://bsky.app/profile/patrickpittis.bsky.social/post/3mh2p4se3nc2jThird year in a row I’ve had the flu turn into pneumonia, and I gotta say - I think I’ve hit the age where i should stop ripping so many fat bongs all the time15 Mar 2026 00:34 +0000at://did:plc:dht24twfaom7f6325ykdd27c/app.bsky.feed.post/3mh2p4se3nc2jhttps://bsky.app/profile/patrickpittis.bsky.social/post/3mgsunrpfys2jI always tell people that writing is so much more than just typing. I think most of them assume I’m joking, but it’s very true11 Mar 2026 21:52 +0000at://did:plc:dht24twfaom7f6325ykdd27c/app.bsky.feed.post/3mgsunrpfys2jhttps://bsky.app/profile/patrickpittis.bsky.social/post/3mgqn6zr34225Yeah well the Kardashians don’t even know how to cut a vegetable so maybe fuck all the way off [contains quote post or other embedded content]11 Mar 2026 00:33 +0000at://did:plc:dht24twfaom7f6325ykdd27c/app.bsky.feed.post/3mgqn6zr34225https://bsky.app/profile/patrickpittis.bsky.social/post/3mdnxdv33dc2oShe has been a staple of the comedy scene for as long as I can remember. In some of my favorite films. This one hurts [contains quote post or other embedded content]30 Jan 2026 18:41 +0000at://did:plc:dht24twfaom7f6325ykdd27c/app.bsky.feed.post/3mdnxdv33dc2ohttps://bsky.app/profile/patrickpittis.bsky.social/post/3mamjuif2zs2aI miss real jalapeños.23 Dec 2025 00:52 +0000at://did:plc:dht24twfaom7f6325ykdd27c/app.bsky.feed.post/3mamjuif2zs2ahttps://bsky.app/profile/patrickpittis.bsky.social/post/3m7yrdg3qhk2bThis is such awful news. Rob Reiner was a once-in-lifetime talent, his stories and films have had a huge impact on me. [contains quote post or other embedded content]15 Dec 2025 04:12 +0000at://did:plc:dht24twfaom7f6325ykdd27c/app.bsky.feed.post/3m7yrdg3qhk2bhttps://bsky.app/profile/patrickpittis.bsky.social/post/3m7ljtb4qzk2gMy very first time on the Black List! So very thankful to everyone who championed this script, most especially my manager Matt Rosen! [contains quote post or other embedded content]09 Dec 2025 21:53 +0000at://did:plc:dht24twfaom7f6325ykdd27c/app.bsky.feed.post/3m7ljtb4qzk2ghttps://bsky.app/profile/patrickpittis.bsky.social/post/3m7h53qqtos2oThought experiment. Let’s take… oh, idk. David Zaslav. In 2024, including stock/bonus awards, DZ made $52M. That’s $1M a week. Let’s be generous and say he works a 60 hour week. So, $16,666.67/hr. Now let’s up the proposed worker’s pay to $20/hr. You could hire 833 people for one Zaslav. [contains quote post or other embedded content]08 Dec 2025 03:55 +0000at://did:plc:dht24twfaom7f6325ykdd27c/app.bsky.feed.post/3m7h53qqtos2ohttps://bsky.app/profile/patrickpittis.bsky.social/post/3m76qtnfx322rOkay but could we also have another REAL STEEL movie [contains quote post or other embedded content]04 Dec 2025 19:54 +0000at://did:plc:dht24twfaom7f6325ykdd27c/app.bsky.feed.post/3m76qtnfx322rhttps://bsky.app/profile/patrickpittis.bsky.social/post/3m75mfvleys26Insert a movie into another movie: ETERNAL SUNSHINE CLEANING OF THE SPOTLESS MIND [contains quote post or other embedded content]04 Dec 2025 09:02 +0000at://did:plc:dht24twfaom7f6325ykdd27c/app.bsky.feed.post/3m75mfvleys26https://bsky.app/profile/patrickpittis.bsky.social/post/3m6xw54hjrs25Woke up with a stuffy nose. Felt like shit by the end of the day. Yay, I somehow have Covid again 🤦🏻‍♂️02 Dec 2025 02:40 +0000at://did:plc:dht24twfaom7f6325ykdd27c/app.bsky.feed.post/3m6xw54hjrs25https://bsky.app/profile/patrickpittis.bsky.social/post/3m67ifpvtr22fAnd just like that, the cycle ends. She’ll crawl back beneath the Earth for another 27 years, resting until it’s time to come back and feed upon the residents of Derry, ME once again. [contains quote post or other embedded content]22 Nov 2025 09:31 +0000at://did:plc:dht24twfaom7f6325ykdd27c/app.bsky.feed.post/3m67ifpvtr22fhttps://bsky.app/profile/patrickpittis.bsky.social/post/3m5zi5tc5as2pFrom Abu’s perspective, the movie Aladdin is just cosmic body horror. https://media.tenor.com/27ePG2I5t9gAAAAC/abu-elephant.gif?hh=296&ww=40420 Nov 2025 00:10 +0000at://did:plc:dht24twfaom7f6325ykdd27c/app.bsky.feed.post/3m5zi5tc5as2phttps://bsky.app/profile/patrickpittis.bsky.social/post/3lzjzukwzh223It’s funny cuz I’m pretty sure the real flesh and blood creatives still have plenty of ideas for movies/shows that haven’t been made yet. Maybe we could just focus on those [contains quote post or other embedded content]23 Sep 2025 23:04 +0000at://did:plc:dht24twfaom7f6325ykdd27c/app.bsky.feed.post/3lzjzukwzh223https://bsky.app/profile/patrickpittis.bsky.social/post/3lshvlhtm5k2yI’m into it. [contains quote post or other embedded content]26 Jun 2025 00:46 +0000at://did:plc:dht24twfaom7f6325ykdd27c/app.bsky.feed.post/3lshvlhtm5k2yhttps://bsky.app/profile/patrickpittis.bsky.social/post/3lreiawv4os2lDescribe your favorite movie in the most misleading way possible Out-of-towners cause a stir during the 4th of July holidays [contains quote post or other embedded content]11 Jun 2025 22:44 +0000at://did:plc:dht24twfaom7f6325ykdd27c/app.bsky.feed.post/3lreiawv4os2l