Meaningful insights from an absurd, petty human being. The Internet's preeminent anti-horse activist. He/Him.https://bsky.app/profile/wittiestmanalive.bsky.socialhttps://bsky.app/profile/wittiestmanalive.bsky.social/post/3mtwkloniqk2rimagine arriving at the Pearly Gates and St. Peter is like "hol up I still got another 1h20 on this Nostalgia Chick video about your worth as a human being" [contains quote post or other embedded content]25 Aug 2026 19:30 +0000at://did:plc:eaaurvc3d644tgf5ukir34bb/app.bsky.feed.post/3mtwkloniqk2rhttps://bsky.app/profile/wittiestmanalive.bsky.social/post/3mtua56qmlk2e [contains quote post or other embedded content]24 Aug 2026 21:18 +0000at://did:plc:eaaurvc3d644tgf5ukir34bb/app.bsky.feed.post/3mtua56qmlk2ehttps://bsky.app/profile/wittiestmanalive.bsky.social/post/3mttsnxj5kc2eMe: [explaining Inverted Roller Coasters to an American] so imagine flying with a gun24 Aug 2026 17:17 +0000at://did:plc:eaaurvc3d644tgf5ukir34bb/app.bsky.feed.post/3mttsnxj5kc2ehttps://bsky.app/profile/wittiestmanalive.bsky.social/post/3mtotxkh2ds26The Greatest Hits a lot of normies didn’t realize was a greatest hits [contains quote post or other embedded content]22 Aug 2026 17:57 +0000at://did:plc:eaaurvc3d644tgf5ukir34bb/app.bsky.feed.post/3mtotxkh2ds26https://bsky.app/profile/wittiestmanalive.bsky.social/post/3mtndejc7fk2lA girl I was dating insisted that we put on her DVD of GOD, THE DEVIL AND BOB (2000), and I don’t remember anything about it except a feeling of absolute certainty that at that same time, someone at Guantanamo Bay was also being forced to watch this [contains quote post or other embedded content]22 Aug 2026 03:27 +0000at://did:plc:eaaurvc3d644tgf5ukir34bb/app.bsky.feed.post/3mtndejc7fk2lhttps://bsky.app/profile/wittiestmanalive.bsky.social/post/3mtm6fyie3s2strue story: one of the Diarrhea Forever supporters screamed at Cute Puppy so hard he gave himself a near fatal heart attack [contains quote post or other embedded content]21 Aug 2026 16:26 +0000at://did:plc:eaaurvc3d644tgf5ukir34bb/app.bsky.feed.post/3mtm6fyie3s2shttps://bsky.app/profile/wittiestmanalive.bsky.social/post/3mtgzbyl5n22uwhat a shame, the world is being denied Ross Barkan's book about the Mamdani campaign the only way to experience it now is to reread Hell Gate and Jacobin's 2025 election coverage and imagine them written 10 times shittier [contains quote post or other embedded content]19 Aug 2026 15:11 +0000at://did:plc:eaaurvc3d644tgf5ukir34bb/app.bsky.feed.post/3mtgzbyl5n22uhttps://bsky.app/profile/wittiestmanalive.bsky.social/post/3msy6w6zyk22wPOV: your child is about to die from a combination of measles, polio, tuberculosis, cyclosporiasis and peptide-induced anaphylaxis13 Aug 2026 17:41 +0000at://did:plc:eaaurvc3d644tgf5ukir34bb/app.bsky.feed.post/3msy6w6zyk22whttps://bsky.app/profile/wittiestmanalive.bsky.social/post/3mswp7xc45k2g [contains quote post or other embedded content]13 Aug 2026 03:28 +0000at://did:plc:eaaurvc3d644tgf5ukir34bb/app.bsky.feed.post/3mswp7xc45k2ghttps://bsky.app/profile/wittiestmanalive.bsky.social/post/3msgaxmjshc2kStaten Island’s own Scott LoTestosteroni, even when suffering the direct consequences of his weirdo ragemonster behavior, will never learn his lesson. Guy legit gave himself a heart attack. So why is he flipping us off? We’re not the ones who shot him full of gear and HRT for the last decade! [contains quote post or other embedded content]06 Aug 2026 14:30 +0000at://did:plc:eaaurvc3d644tgf5ukir34bb/app.bsky.feed.post/3msgaxmjshc2khttps://bsky.app/profile/wittiestmanalive.bsky.social/post/3mn4pgpynuc2uwhy would anyone unfollow me i’m such a nice boy31 May 2026 04:16 +0000at://did:plc:eaaurvc3d644tgf5ukir34bb/app.bsky.feed.post/3mn4pgpynuc2uhttps://bsky.app/profile/wittiestmanalive.bsky.social/post/3mseyia4h2s2rhey real quick gonna just break out the airhorns and sirens to remind all the Internet-poisoned west wing liberals 📢🚨 GIVING MONEY TO 🚨📢 🚨📢 REPUBLICAN GRIFTS 📢🚨 📢🚨 WILL NOT “TOTALLY 🚨📢 🚨📢 EMBARRASS THEM” 📢🚨 [contains quote post or other embedded content]06 Aug 2026 02:26 +0000at://did:plc:eaaurvc3d644tgf5ukir34bb/app.bsky.feed.post/3mseyia4h2s2rhttps://bsky.app/profile/wittiestmanalive.bsky.social/post/3msdq7mpdik2qtfw her only job is to actually let a person of color talk [contains quote post or other embedded content]05 Aug 2026 14:25 +0000at://did:plc:eaaurvc3d644tgf5ukir34bb/app.bsky.feed.post/3msdq7mpdik2qhttps://bsky.app/profile/wittiestmanalive.bsky.social/post/3msblck5wl22b [contains quote post or other embedded content]04 Aug 2026 17:52 +0000at://did:plc:eaaurvc3d644tgf5ukir34bb/app.bsky.feed.post/3msblck5wl22bhttps://bsky.app/profile/wittiestmanalive.bsky.social/post/3ms7g3weels2yI sure would hate if my taxes went toward good things A truly responsible society only supports funding endless war and human suffering. Should any knowledge of these atrocities intrude on ones blissful ignorance, good citizens must shrug and say, “Whaddaya gonna do? Good things aren’t possible.” [contains quote post or other embedded content]03 Aug 2026 21:13 +0000at://did:plc:eaaurvc3d644tgf5ukir34bb/app.bsky.feed.post/3ms7g3weels2yhttps://bsky.app/profile/wittiestmanalive.bsky.social/post/3mrqaqadn7s2hGet ready to fall in love, America! [contains quote post or other embedded content]28 Jul 2026 20:27 +0000at://did:plc:eaaurvc3d644tgf5ukir34bb/app.bsky.feed.post/3mrqaqadn7s2hhttps://bsky.app/profile/wittiestmanalive.bsky.social/post/3mrnziily622kshould Blussky add poll features? Repost for Yes! Like for No! [contains quote post or other embedded content]27 Jul 2026 23:12 +0000at://did:plc:eaaurvc3d644tgf5ukir34bb/app.bsky.feed.post/3mrnziily622khttps://bsky.app/profile/wittiestmanalive.bsky.social/post/3mrno5bj2bc2qmonitoring the situation [contains quote post or other embedded content]27 Jul 2026 19:49 +0000at://did:plc:eaaurvc3d644tgf5ukir34bb/app.bsky.feed.post/3mrno5bj2bc2qhttps://bsky.app/profile/wittiestmanalive.bsky.social/post/3mrl2b3mfn22pAttention professional critics: the entirety of my next paycheck is yours, if your published review of the new Ryan Murphy series consists solely of the sentence “More like THE SHARTS.”26 Jul 2026 18:48 +0000at://did:plc:eaaurvc3d644tgf5ukir34bb/app.bsky.feed.post/3mrl2b3mfn22phttps://bsky.app/profile/wittiestmanalive.bsky.social/post/3mrfkht5qis2a"The Cubemother is back." "Bringing vengeance?" [contains quote post or other embedded content]24 Jul 2026 14:22 +0000at://did:plc:eaaurvc3d644tgf5ukir34bb/app.bsky.feed.post/3mrfkht5qis2ahttps://bsky.app/profile/wittiestmanalive.bsky.social/post/3mrdo72qgh22i [contains quote post or other embedded content]23 Jul 2026 20:24 +0000at://did:plc:eaaurvc3d644tgf5ukir34bb/app.bsky.feed.post/3mrdo72qgh22ihttps://bsky.app/profile/wittiestmanalive.bsky.social/post/3mrdcz7agj22bMy idols are all dead, my enemies are in power, and my coworkers write all their emails with AI23 Jul 2026 17:04 +0000at://did:plc:eaaurvc3d644tgf5ukir34bb/app.bsky.feed.post/3mrdcz7agj22bhttps://bsky.app/profile/wittiestmanalive.bsky.social/post/3mrd7zebszs2hWe can do this without perpetuating hagiography for Blockbuster, one of the primary guilty parties for destroying the video rental industry. Especially in DC Metro. Remember your history—if you want to rekindle video store nostalgia, make it a Little Free Erol’s. [contains quote post or other embedded content]23 Jul 2026 16:10 +0000at://did:plc:eaaurvc3d644tgf5ukir34bb/app.bsky.feed.post/3mrd7zebszs2hhttps://bsky.app/profile/wittiestmanalive.bsky.social/post/3mrbwn4pi4k2xQuick heads up: none of you motherfuckers better pull this on me after I die. Y’all wouldn’t even retweet my shit when I was alive. When you get got for posting, you’re on your own. [contains quote post or other embedded content]23 Jul 2026 03:49 +0000at://did:plc:eaaurvc3d644tgf5ukir34bb/app.bsky.feed.post/3mrbwn4pi4k2xhttps://bsky.app/profile/wittiestmanalive.bsky.social/post/3mr3jch65r22nOverheard from the crowd exiting AMC Lincoln Square: “The Cyclops? That was TOTALLY from Percy Jackson.”20 Jul 2026 14:35 +0000at://did:plc:eaaurvc3d644tgf5ukir34bb/app.bsky.feed.post/3mr3jch65r22nhttps://bsky.app/profile/wittiestmanalive.bsky.social/post/3mqih6rx2as2tNOPE ABSOLUTELY NOT DO NOT TRUST THAT HORSE [contains quote post or other embedded content]13 Jul 2026 00:36 +0000at://did:plc:eaaurvc3d644tgf5ukir34bb/app.bsky.feed.post/3mqih6rx2as2t