Emmy-losing Writer/Director (#Shrinking, @nbcSNL, @Netflix, @Hulu, @Dreamworks, @JimmyKimmelLive, #StrangePlanet, @NewYorker)https://bsky.app/profile/zackbornstein.bsky.socialhttps://bsky.app/profile/zackbornstein.bsky.social/post/3mg3ytschws2kYou know you’re a 90s kid if you remember when the U.S. government would at least make up a fake reason to attack the Middle East02 Mar 2026 19:36 +0000at://did:plc:etabn7jca6y23ehipzmowx2a/app.bsky.feed.post/3mg3ytschws2khttps://bsky.app/profile/zackbornstein.bsky.social/post/3mdoat7bmnk2pNot to get political, but America is very pretty and has a lot of nice folks making cool things, and I think if we had a president who wasn’t actively trying to murder us, we could have a pretty good time30 Jan 2026 21:31 +0000at://did:plc:etabn7jca6y23ehipzmowx2a/app.bsky.feed.post/3mdoat7bmnk2phttps://bsky.app/profile/zackbornstein.bsky.social/post/3mdoajwcxos2pNot to get all high and mighty, but if I had my own masked Gestapo army executing nurses in the streets, id ask them to please stop30 Jan 2026 21:26 +0000at://did:plc:etabn7jca6y23ehipzmowx2a/app.bsky.feed.post/3mdoajwcxos2phttps://bsky.app/profile/zackbornstein.bsky.social/post/3mbuiccvomc23The 5 elements if I was Captain Planet:07 Jan 2026 22:10 +0000at://did:plc:etabn7jca6y23ehipzmowx2a/app.bsky.feed.post/3mbuiccvomc23https://bsky.app/profile/zackbornstein.bsky.social/post/3mbsanrpm7k23Happy anniversary to the last time a Republican actually took a stand07 Jan 2026 00:48 +0000at://did:plc:etabn7jca6y23ehipzmowx2a/app.bsky.feed.post/3mbsanrpm7k23https://bsky.app/profile/zackbornstein.bsky.social/post/3mbrkjp7mis2eGoing to the gym at work Pros: -Convenient -Saves money -Built in consistency -Can shower there -Spot friends -Rarely crowded Cons -Once a quarter your boss sees your penis06 Jan 2026 18:12 +0000at://did:plc:etabn7jca6y23ehipzmowx2a/app.bsky.feed.post/3mbrkjp7mis2ehttps://bsky.app/profile/zackbornstein.bsky.social/post/3mbdj57xdns24Things JD Vance Has Stuck His Member In01 Jan 2026 04:10 +0000at://did:plc:etabn7jca6y23ehipzmowx2a/app.bsky.feed.post/3mbdj57xdns24https://bsky.app/profile/zackbornstein.bsky.social/post/3mam6gjlvdc2kCan I sue Gillette for letting me do this?22 Dec 2025 21:27 +0000at://did:plc:etabn7jca6y23ehipzmowx2a/app.bsky.feed.post/3mam6gjlvdc2khttps://bsky.app/profile/zackbornstein.bsky.social/post/3malxzztbyk2aMidsommar / Midwintar22 Dec 2025 19:33 +0000at://did:plc:etabn7jca6y23ehipzmowx2a/app.bsky.feed.post/3malxzztbyk2ahttps://bsky.app/profile/zackbornstein.bsky.social/post/3m7oqxyqqt22cApparently it takes 4 years to stop looking like non binary Pablo Escobar11 Dec 2025 04:39 +0000at://did:plc:etabn7jca6y23ehipzmowx2a/app.bsky.feed.post/3m7oqxyqqt22chttps://bsky.app/profile/zackbornstein.bsky.social/post/3m6pvnj2ebc2rPOV: You’re about to be asked the worst 3 riddles you’ve ever heard to cross this bridge28 Nov 2025 22:10 +0000at://did:plc:etabn7jca6y23ehipzmowx2a/app.bsky.feed.post/3m6pvnj2ebc2rhttps://bsky.app/profile/zackbornstein.bsky.social/post/3m6nu7eaaak2yHappy Spider-Man Rimming Uncle Sam Day to all who celebrate28 Nov 2025 02:39 +0000at://did:plc:etabn7jca6y23ehipzmowx2a/app.bsky.feed.post/3m6nu7eaaak2yhttps://bsky.app/profile/zackbornstein.bsky.social/post/3m6nhg6l4222bSafe topics for your family Thanksgiving: -Hamas -Everyone’s weight, net worth -Lives that matter -Only thing that can stop a bad guy with a gun -Who AI will replace first -Who controls a woman’s body -Sydney Sweeney ads -Best ethnicity -The Jews, general or specific -Trump hot?27 Nov 2025 22:50 +0000at://did:plc:etabn7jca6y23ehipzmowx2a/app.bsky.feed.post/3m6nhg6l4222bhttps://bsky.app/profile/zackbornstein.bsky.social/post/3m6htshqrn22eBREAKING: Trump pardons turkey who appeared 28 times on Epstein flight logs25 Nov 2025 17:16 +0000at://did:plc:etabn7jca6y23ehipzmowx2a/app.bsky.feed.post/3m6htshqrn22ehttps://bsky.app/profile/zackbornstein.bsky.social/post/3m6fta2l2222zthis is killing me, why would they choose a model who looks so deeply scared and uncomfortable24 Nov 2025 22:00 +0000at://did:plc:etabn7jca6y23ehipzmowx2a/app.bsky.feed.post/3m6fta2l2222zhttps://bsky.app/profile/zackbornstein.bsky.social/post/3m6b6llmnzk2eWhen you’re crushing so hard you start dressing like them23 Nov 2025 01:40 +0000at://did:plc:etabn7jca6y23ehipzmowx2a/app.bsky.feed.post/3m6b6llmnzk2ehttps://bsky.app/profile/zackbornstein.bsky.social/post/3m65w7lde2k26Whoever finds a way to put 30g of protein in a cigarette will become the first trillionaire21 Nov 2025 18:33 +0000at://did:plc:etabn7jca6y23ehipzmowx2a/app.bsky.feed.post/3m65w7lde2k26https://bsky.app/profile/zackbornstein.bsky.social/post/3m65vbrjukk26I could be staring at my hand locking my front door, and I still won’t feel 100% sure my front door was locked21 Nov 2025 18:16 +0000at://did:plc:etabn7jca6y23ehipzmowx2a/app.bsky.feed.post/3m65vbrjukk26https://bsky.app/profile/zackbornstein.bsky.social/post/3m64ddtwovc2dwhy does everyone keep saying I have sad eyes21 Nov 2025 03:22 +0000at://did:plc:etabn7jca6y23ehipzmowx2a/app.bsky.feed.post/3m64ddtwovc2dhttps://bsky.app/profile/zackbornstein.bsky.social/post/3m5weqo3t6c2gjust realized my cats probably think I spend 10 hours a day in the garage18 Nov 2025 18:31 +0000at://did:plc:etabn7jca6y23ehipzmowx2a/app.bsky.feed.post/3m5weqo3t6c2ghttps://bsky.app/profile/zackbornstein.bsky.social/post/3m5txwmxhx22vIt’s truly bananas we’re expected to go about our lives eating lunch and putting on pants like the President isn’t a well documented child sex predator who was best friends with the king of child sex predators17 Nov 2025 19:37 +0000at://did:plc:etabn7jca6y23ehipzmowx2a/app.bsky.feed.post/3m5txwmxhx22vhttps://bsky.app/profile/zackbornstein.bsky.social/post/3m5p3nkaaes23CNN: Trump in Epstein files NBC: Trump in Epstein files ABC: Trump in Epstein files FOX:15 Nov 2025 21:00 +0000at://did:plc:etabn7jca6y23ehipzmowx2a/app.bsky.feed.post/3m5p3nkaaes23https://bsky.app/profile/zackbornstein.bsky.social/post/3m5co24siqs2rDemocrats with no leverage: Give in to GOP Democrats with all the leverage, social mandate, moral authority, clear achievable win in sight: Give in to GOP10 Nov 2025 22:24 +0000at://did:plc:etabn7jca6y23ehipzmowx2a/app.bsky.feed.post/3m5co24siqs2rhttps://bsky.app/profile/zackbornstein.bsky.social/post/3m53ngxffi22rI don’t understand why Trump’s approval rating is finally slipping when he’s building a golden ballroom at his house while actively stopping 42 million Americans from getting food stamps, 40% of whom are children08 Nov 2025 03:25 +0000at://did:plc:etabn7jca6y23ehipzmowx2a/app.bsky.feed.post/3m53ngxffi22rhttps://bsky.app/profile/zackbornstein.bsky.social/post/3m4yljefzfk2vI don’t understand how Trump lost so much ground from a year ago after spending every single day making people’s lives hell while raking in $3 billion in Qatari bribes through his crypto coin06 Nov 2025 22:13 +0000at://did:plc:etabn7jca6y23ehipzmowx2a/app.bsky.feed.post/3m4yljefzfk2vhttps://bsky.app/profile/zackbornstein.bsky.social/post/3m4ombtih7c2mIf 3 people in a row don’t pick up your call it’s because everyone you’ve ever met is in a room together voting on your greatest flaw02 Nov 2025 23:00 +0000at://did:plc:etabn7jca6y23ehipzmowx2a/app.bsky.feed.post/3m4ombtih7c2mhttps://bsky.app/profile/zackbornstein.bsky.social/post/3m4h7itxc322xI don’t understand why dating is so hard, all I’m looking for is a new best friend from scratch who I’m willing to die for that must get along with all my family and friends and have comparable ambition and identical values and wild sexual chemistry with me and no else forever31 Oct 2025 00:22 +0000at://did:plc:etabn7jca6y23ehipzmowx2a/app.bsky.feed.post/3m4h7itxc322xhttps://bsky.app/profile/zackbornstein.bsky.social/post/3m4e4pb6uqk2uAt the end of the day, we are all Americans. Sure, we have differences on policy. One side wants to give everyone healthcare and good wages. The other wants to create a white Christian ethnostate where the president can legally assassinate anyone at will. But we are not enemies.29 Oct 2025 18:54 +0000at://did:plc:etabn7jca6y23ehipzmowx2a/app.bsky.feed.post/3m4e4pb6uqk2uhttps://bsky.app/profile/zackbornstein.bsky.social/post/3m3vjiu4mek25ah yes another beautiful morning, time to decide if I want to be informed and frozen in panic, or willfully ignorant with a numbing background dread23 Oct 2025 23:33 +0000at://did:plc:etabn7jca6y23ehipzmowx2a/app.bsky.feed.post/3m3vjiu4mek25https://bsky.app/profile/zackbornstein.bsky.social/post/3m3ebjx43hk2oNot gonna lie toddlers absolutely nailed it with naps, buttered noodles, and rejecting authority17 Oct 2025 02:56 +0000at://did:plc:etabn7jca6y23ehipzmowx2a/app.bsky.feed.post/3m3ebjx43hk2o