he/him | Flyover country, USA | I'm a 40-something cishet white guy with a healthy dose of AuDHD and anxiety exploring alternative relationship styles and solo polyamory. What could go wrong?https://bsky.app/profile/succulent.horsehttps://bsky.app/profile/succulent.horse/post/3mdvsnl37tk2hI struggle to think that anything I contribute to the world would be missed. I'm just not that important.02 Feb 2026 21:39 +0000at://did:plc:eui4kinfithi4pyxzmjruf6m/app.bsky.feed.post/3mdvsnl37tk2hhttps://bsky.app/profile/succulent.horse/post/3mc457oovdc2tI'm sorry, world. I wish I could do better.10 Jan 2026 23:13 +0000at://did:plc:eui4kinfithi4pyxzmjruf6m/app.bsky.feed.post/3mc457oovdc2thttps://bsky.app/profile/succulent.horse/post/3mc3thnkjzs2nI think it's easier to write here than on my main account sometimes because I know nobody is listening here. Everybody is out protesting ICE - and I'm very glad they are. Meanwhile, I'm laying here in bed having a panic attack over the idea of going to a party solo tonight.10 Jan 2026 20:19 +0000at://did:plc:eui4kinfithi4pyxzmjruf6m/app.bsky.feed.post/3mc3thnkjzs2nhttps://bsky.app/profile/succulent.horse/post/3mbfdmcj2ms25Threads is showing me lots of posts from women who are looking for relationships around my age - in their 30s and 40s. This seems like a great thing, right? Distance (and my comet tendencies) aside, I haven't pursued dating much at all outside of my one long-distance person.01 Jan 2026 21:36 +0000at://did:plc:eui4kinfithi4pyxzmjruf6m/app.bsky.feed.post/3mbfdmcj2ms25https://bsky.app/profile/succulent.horse/post/3mapknwgixk2cI haven't rambled on this account in a while, but it's late and I'm spiraling a little, so here's me shouting into the void for a few minutes. I forgot to buy her a gift. I don't know if "forgot" is the right word, but it's not the first time that I've stressed over buying the right gift.24 Dec 2025 05:44 +0000at://did:plc:eui4kinfithi4pyxzmjruf6m/app.bsky.feed.post/3mapknwgixk2chttps://bsky.app/profile/succulent.horse/post/3lpmx4itd4c2cThe question currently running on repeat through my head while I'm spending time with a long-distance partner I'm enamored with: am I too scared of rejection to ever be back in a legitimate serious relationship?20 May 2025 20:41 +0000at://did:plc:eui4kinfithi4pyxzmjruf6m/app.bsky.feed.post/3lpmx4itd4c2chttps://bsky.app/profile/succulent.horse/post/3lm4kjaug6s2xThis space reserved for whatever my current psychotic break is going to look like in 24 hours.06 Apr 2025 03:57 +0000at://did:plc:eui4kinfithi4pyxzmjruf6m/app.bsky.feed.post/3lm4kjaug6s2xhttps://bsky.app/profile/succulent.horse/post/3lji3zfwzo22xI was browsing Threads and came across a collection of breakup stories that have stuck with people. I'm coming up on ten years since She left; that anniversary will be in a couple of months. I don't remember the exact date, though I think that may be a blessing in disguise. 1/03 Mar 2025 13:54 +0000at://did:plc:eui4kinfithi4pyxzmjruf6m/app.bsky.feed.post/3lji3zfwzo22xhttps://bsky.app/profile/succulent.horse/post/3ligz625nws2oI've let this sit for a couple weeks (somewhat unintentionally). But since I'm enjoying another night of insomnia, here are the questions bouncing in my head at the moment:18 Feb 2025 10:05 +0000at://did:plc:eui4kinfithi4pyxzmjruf6m/app.bsky.feed.post/3ligz625nws2ohttps://bsky.app/profile/succulent.horse/post/3lhdqvlns4k2sI've been guilty of approaching love from a scarcity mindset for so many years. I always worried that I'd never measure up, that I wasn't good enough and every lost relationship or missed opportunity was going to be my last. Breaking out of that has been one of the best things I've done for me. [contains quote post or other embedded content]04 Feb 2025 09:34 +0000at://did:plc:eui4kinfithi4pyxzmjruf6m/app.bsky.feed.post/3lhdqvlns4k2shttps://bsky.app/profile/succulent.horse/post/3lhdqpw2twc2sAfter my sleep-deprived ramblings of the other night, further discussion with T and I turned into a desire to deescalate and keep any interactions platonic. I'm sad about losing her as a partner, but also a little relieved. There was a tremendous imbalance in the strength of our connection...04 Feb 2025 09:31 +0000at://did:plc:eui4kinfithi4pyxzmjruf6m/app.bsky.feed.post/3lhdqpw2twc2shttps://bsky.app/profile/succulent.horse/post/3lh7aayakjk2pCan't shut my brain off... So story time* I spent 10 days visiting D recently. It's a pretty new relationship and she lives in another time zone, so we haven't had much opportunity to spend time together in person. *Oh geez, I'm gonna have to burn this account aren't I? [contains quote post or other embedded content]02 Feb 2025 14:25 +0000at://did:plc:eui4kinfithi4pyxzmjruf6m/app.bsky.feed.post/3lh7aayakjk2phttps://bsky.app/profile/succulent.horse/post/3lh74ah43zv24Tonight's existential crisis was brought on by a conversation I had with T, one of my partners. I'm her only person, and she feels a strong connection to me - it's not one that I reciprocate as much to her. It's not necessarily a secret, but it's been awkward to navigate, and that came...02 Feb 2025 13:14 +0000at://did:plc:eui4kinfithi4pyxzmjruf6m/app.bsky.feed.post/3lh74ah43zv24https://bsky.app/profile/succulent.horse/post/3lh6ydbhqkf24Some FAQs (to be added in later): I've never played D&D.02 Feb 2025 12:04 +0000at://did:plc:eui4kinfithi4pyxzmjruf6m/app.bsky.feed.post/3lh6ydbhqkf24https://bsky.app/profile/succulent.horse/post/3lh6y3xw6au24I've figured out what to do with this domain. About me: I'm an elder millennial cishet white guy living in US flyover country. My midlife crisis hasn't been cars or dating someone old enough to be my child, it's been exploring my neurodivergence and alternative relationship styles.02 Feb 2025 11:59 +0000at://did:plc:eui4kinfithi4pyxzmjruf6m/app.bsky.feed.post/3lh6y3xw6au24