Producer for Last Week Tonight with John Oliver. Excited to be here. Hoping to make some lifelong friends. https://bsky.app/profile/mpasset.bsky.socialhttps://bsky.app/profile/mpasset.bsky.social/post/3mlb5oy4v3s2zLove the photos of Donald and Melania shaking hands. My wife and I have shaken hands twice. Once when we first met in 2003 and then once more as a joke in 2012 when we decided after a long drawn out discussion to just “go to the Thai place.”07 May 2026 11:52 +0000at://did:plc:fcvjtrsewqzaow4txaxeag2p/app.bsky.feed.post/3mlb5oy4v3s2zhttps://bsky.app/profile/mpasset.bsky.social/post/3mkfvx3bsns2gThe only thing that can stop a bad guy with a gun is a beautiful and luxurious ballroom.26 Apr 2026 15:51 +0000at://did:plc:fcvjtrsewqzaow4txaxeag2p/app.bsky.feed.post/3mkfvx3bsns2ghttps://bsky.app/profile/mpasset.bsky.social/post/3mjz3iporis2oI don’t think you really want to hear about this.21 Apr 2026 13:26 +0000at://did:plc:fcvjtrsewqzaow4txaxeag2p/app.bsky.feed.post/3mjz3iporis2ohttps://bsky.app/profile/mpasset.bsky.social/post/3mjfuhnsqs22kDo you think Trump knew he was dressed as Jesus in the AI image he posted on the day he picked a fight with the Pope and had that door dash delivery person at the White House? Shit’s weird, right?13 Apr 2026 22:00 +0000at://did:plc:fcvjtrsewqzaow4txaxeag2p/app.bsky.feed.post/3mjfuhnsqs22khttps://bsky.app/profile/mpasset.bsky.social/post/3mityfwmfoc2wBeen seeing some really cool pics from outer space. Is this part of that Katy Perry thing?06 Apr 2026 19:22 +0000at://did:plc:fcvjtrsewqzaow4txaxeag2p/app.bsky.feed.post/3mityfwmfoc2whttps://bsky.app/profile/mpasset.bsky.social/post/3mia2szphos2m“UConn Duke it.” - Rob Schneider29 Mar 2026 21:12 +0000at://did:plc:fcvjtrsewqzaow4txaxeag2p/app.bsky.feed.post/3mia2szphos2mhttps://bsky.app/profile/mpasset.bsky.social/post/3memxmwa6k22u“Jeff Epstein the New York financier? I’m pretty sure if there was some news about Jeff Epstein, I would’ve heard.” - Pam Bondi, today12 Feb 2026 02:39 +0000at://did:plc:fcvjtrsewqzaow4txaxeag2p/app.bsky.feed.post/3memxmwa6k22uhttps://bsky.app/profile/mpasset.bsky.social/post/3md4dcsed4s22Think it's time to accept that I'm not gonna learn how to use the skateboard I bought after I saw the movie Mid 90's eight years ago.23 Jan 2026 18:28 +0000at://did:plc:fcvjtrsewqzaow4txaxeag2p/app.bsky.feed.post/3md4dcsed4s22https://bsky.app/profile/mpasset.bsky.social/post/3mawvo5lsa223Saw new SpongeBob movie today. Here is my takeaway: Scrubs is SpongeBob! J.D. is SpongeBob, Turk is Patrick, Cox is Squidward, Kelso is Mr. Krabs, Elliot is Sandy. The movie was good but was hard to focus on the plot when all I kept thinking was Scrubs is SpongeBob.27 Dec 2025 03:50 +0000at://did:plc:fcvjtrsewqzaow4txaxeag2p/app.bsky.feed.post/3mawvo5lsa223https://bsky.app/profile/mpasset.bsky.social/post/3m772wpozg222Am I crazy or does this blowfish kind of look like Trump?04 Dec 2025 22:55 +0000at://did:plc:fcvjtrsewqzaow4txaxeag2p/app.bsky.feed.post/3m772wpozg222https://bsky.app/profile/mpasset.bsky.social/post/3m6qtm5utkk2lI guess this op-ed is about personal liberties29 Nov 2025 07:06 +0000at://did:plc:fcvjtrsewqzaow4txaxeag2p/app.bsky.feed.post/3m6qtm5utkk2lhttps://bsky.app/profile/mpasset.bsky.social/post/3m3findejn22j6-7 gives me hope for the future. There's an entire generation out there who doesn't give a fuck what adults are up to & what we're destroying & how much we're fucking up. They have their own shit going on & they're all in on it together & it's fun & it doesn't involve us at all.17 Oct 2025 14:35 +0000at://did:plc:fcvjtrsewqzaow4txaxeag2p/app.bsky.feed.post/3m3findejn22jhttps://bsky.app/profile/mpasset.bsky.social/post/3m2lzezm3m226Assuming they didn’t even consider Trump’s work in quantum mechanics. Sad! Rigged Nobel! [contains quote post or other embedded content]07 Oct 2025 11:26 +0000at://did:plc:fcvjtrsewqzaow4txaxeag2p/app.bsky.feed.post/3m2lzezm3m226https://bsky.app/profile/mpasset.bsky.social/post/3m2jsbuty7s2nOh fuck you directions on my new toothbrush06 Oct 2025 14:13 +0000at://did:plc:fcvjtrsewqzaow4txaxeag2p/app.bsky.feed.post/3m2jsbuty7s2nhttps://bsky.app/profile/mpasset.bsky.social/post/3lzounuxqgs2iI know a lot of people are joking about Trump’s escalator crisis, but about ten years ago, my uncle was on an escalator that stopped moving after a few seconds and it really ripped my family apart. He's literally still there. We visit him and yell up to him, etc. But it's not the same as it was.25 Sep 2025 21:14 +0000at://did:plc:fcvjtrsewqzaow4txaxeag2p/app.bsky.feed.post/3lzounuxqgs2ihttps://bsky.app/profile/mpasset.bsky.social/post/3lxzvq34dbk24It’s cool that Al Pacino is such a good actor that nobody even batted an eye as he’s transformed into a beautiful majestic lion.04 Sep 2025 19:42 +0000at://did:plc:fcvjtrsewqzaow4txaxeag2p/app.bsky.feed.post/3lxzvq34dbk24https://bsky.app/profile/mpasset.bsky.social/post/3lxml6m6go22oThe Trump White House is so bad at this that the proof of life video is gonna be dated footage of Trump partying with Hulk Hogan.30 Aug 2025 12:29 +0000at://did:plc:fcvjtrsewqzaow4txaxeag2p/app.bsky.feed.post/3lxml6m6go22ohttps://bsky.app/profile/mpasset.bsky.social/post/3lwxjccihes2iThis guy’s commitment to his craft is just nuts. He literally fathered a child and raised that child to be a film director for this role. So admirable. [contains quote post or other embedded content]22 Aug 2025 03:29 +0000at://did:plc:fcvjtrsewqzaow4txaxeag2p/app.bsky.feed.post/3lwxjccihes2ihttps://bsky.app/profile/mpasset.bsky.social/post/3luxhxsn3q22hLeno said, in a lecture about comedy [contains quote post or other embedded content]27 Jul 2025 16:15 +0000at://did:plc:fcvjtrsewqzaow4txaxeag2p/app.bsky.feed.post/3luxhxsn3q22hhttps://bsky.app/profile/mpasset.bsky.social/post/3lt5vhwqbp22nWriting a movie about a Formula 1 driver who’s really fast and could be the best ever, except that he keeps using his turning signal.04 Jul 2025 18:42 +0000at://did:plc:fcvjtrsewqzaow4txaxeag2p/app.bsky.feed.post/3lt5vhwqbp22nhttps://bsky.app/profile/mpasset.bsky.social/post/3lt3ej2wrpk2bCongratulations to the Republicans on being able to hurt all the people you wanted to hurt.03 Jul 2025 18:33 +0000at://did:plc:fcvjtrsewqzaow4txaxeag2p/app.bsky.feed.post/3lt3ej2wrpk2bhttps://bsky.app/profile/mpasset.bsky.social/post/3lt3aqzbrbc2oI’m old enough to remember when this was big beautiful Bill03 Jul 2025 17:26 +0000at://did:plc:fcvjtrsewqzaow4txaxeag2p/app.bsky.feed.post/3lt3aqzbrbc2ohttps://bsky.app/profile/mpasset.bsky.social/post/3lsyrco5mwc2zI think the problem with the internet is that I feel the need to publicly state that Richard Manuel from The Band looks like @brianrosenworcel.bsky.social from @guster.bsky.social when really this is just something I should tell my wife when she gets home from work and is tired and is ignoring me.02 Jul 2025 17:44 +0000at://did:plc:fcvjtrsewqzaow4txaxeag2p/app.bsky.feed.post/3lsyrco5mwc2zhttps://bsky.app/profile/mpasset.bsky.social/post/3lswcxhztd22dDriving home from seeing the movie F1 is so dangerous.01 Jul 2025 18:22 +0000at://did:plc:fcvjtrsewqzaow4txaxeag2p/app.bsky.feed.post/3lswcxhztd22dhttps://bsky.app/profile/mpasset.bsky.social/post/3lqv32earj22dLook, I know some people are loving that Trump and Musk are fighting and think it’s SO funny that it’s gonna get ugly and they’re gonna reveal personal things about each other, and you might think it’s great that this is happening, and that it’s all fun and games05 Jun 2025 19:38 +0000at://did:plc:fcvjtrsewqzaow4txaxeag2p/app.bsky.feed.post/3lqv32earj22dhttps://bsky.app/profile/mpasset.bsky.social/post/3lprhsecwtk2xGonna miss the penny. No fucking way I’m paying a nickel for your thoughts. [contains quote post or other embedded content]22 May 2025 15:50 +0000at://did:plc:fcvjtrsewqzaow4txaxeag2p/app.bsky.feed.post/3lprhsecwtk2xhttps://bsky.app/profile/mpasset.bsky.social/post/3lpmy7eibrk27I feel like talking to JD Vance is probably like having a conversation with a guy who works at a guitar store. You can't exactly put your finger on it but it never quite feels comfortable or natural.20 May 2025 21:00 +0000at://did:plc:fcvjtrsewqzaow4txaxeag2p/app.bsky.feed.post/3lpmy7eibrk27https://bsky.app/profile/mpasset.bsky.social/post/3lorqpnewrk27Biden should be more like Carson and less like Conan. You did the stuff, some was very good, now go away and let us remember the good stuff. Obama, on the other hand, should be Conan. Stay relevant, do some weird interesting shit for a while longer. Maybe even go on Hot Ones.10 May 2025 01:04 +0000at://did:plc:fcvjtrsewqzaow4txaxeag2p/app.bsky.feed.post/3lorqpnewrk27https://bsky.app/profile/mpasset.bsky.social/post/3lohbvqi5zc2sNot to brag, but if I attended, I’d be the ugliest person at the Met Gala.05 May 2025 21:13 +0000at://did:plc:fcvjtrsewqzaow4txaxeag2p/app.bsky.feed.post/3lohbvqi5zc2s