polyamory educator and sex therapist in training, posting about queerness, sex-positivity, and radical relationshipshttps://bsky.app/profile/polyphiliablog.bsky.socialhttps://bsky.app/profile/polyphiliablog.bsky.social/post/3mmk6rtdaus22There are two types of polyamorous people when it comes to disclosure boundaries: those who do better with more information about what their partner(s) are doing with other people, and those who do better with less. Here's how you figure out which type you are:23 May 2026 19:31 +0000at://did:plc:fo6dpu2gojbbpr442nl6jeif/app.bsky.feed.post/3mmk6rtdaus22https://bsky.app/profile/polyphiliablog.bsky.social/post/3mmjub6mizc2vIf your partner is struggling with your polyamory, which response do you think they’d respond better to? 1. “You agreed to it, so why are you still upset about it? Maybe you aren’t really polyamorous if you’re going to be so difficult.”23 May 2026 16:22 +0000at://did:plc:fo6dpu2gojbbpr442nl6jeif/app.bsky.feed.post/3mmjub6mizc2vhttps://bsky.app/profile/polyphiliablog.bsky.social/post/3mmeliubi2c2oIf you’re struggling in your polyamorous relationship and all your partner has to say to you is “maybe you aren’t actually polyamorous” instead of being empathetic and curious, what they’re actually saying is “your emotions are inconvenient to me, so I’m going to shame you about it.”21 May 2026 14:02 +0000at://did:plc:fo6dpu2gojbbpr442nl6jeif/app.bsky.feed.post/3mmeliubi2c2ohttps://bsky.app/profile/polyphiliablog.bsky.social/post/3mlvdu4ymzc2bPolyamorous people who take an overly dogmatic, holier-than-thou proselytising approach when talking about what polyamory 'should' look like are not only reinforcing feelings of shame and judgment in people who are just looking for support, but are also buying into purity culture.15 May 2026 12:35 +0000at://did:plc:fo6dpu2gojbbpr442nl6jeif/app.bsky.feed.post/3mlvdu4ymzc2bhttps://bsky.app/profile/polyphiliablog.bsky.social/post/3mlql7d2cls2kPolyamorous people who aren't aware of their couple privilege can do a lot of harm, but on the flip side, those who rush to escalate newer relationships before they're ready in the name of "fairness" are also mishandling their couple privilege. Here's how to avoid this pitfall...13 May 2026 15:04 +0000at://did:plc:fo6dpu2gojbbpr442nl6jeif/app.bsky.feed.post/3mlql7d2cls2khttps://bsky.app/profile/polyphiliablog.bsky.social/post/3mkzwwlxg3s2npolyamorous people love talking about how polyamory offers so much novelty and variety in the partners we date but in reality 90% of us just date multiple versions of the same person in slightly different fonts and I love that for us04 May 2026 15:02 +0000at://did:plc:fo6dpu2gojbbpr442nl6jeif/app.bsky.feed.post/3mkzwwlxg3s2nhttps://bsky.app/profile/polyphiliablog.bsky.social/post/3mktb2d3yes24The polyamorous community love to say "love is infinite but time/energy are not", but at the same time, how one spends their time/energy is a way to demonstrate that love for their partners.01 May 2026 23:15 +0000at://did:plc:fo6dpu2gojbbpr442nl6jeif/app.bsky.feed.post/3mktb2d3yes24https://bsky.app/profile/polyphiliablog.bsky.social/post/3mkt3lyi7ik2sMoving from scarcity to abundance mindset in non-monogamy can be extremely useful for reframing core beliefs that are shaped by mononormativity AND it's also important to remember that you can't gratitude journal your way into dropping your standards and expectations for a relationship.01 May 2026 21:37 +0000at://did:plc:fo6dpu2gojbbpr442nl6jeif/app.bsky.feed.post/3mkt3lyi7ik2shttps://bsky.app/profile/polyphiliablog.bsky.social/post/3mkmv3vyvhs2pPolyamory doesn’t mean I feel I SHOULD pursue every opportunity for connection that comes my way. It’s the freedom of choice in knowing that I COULD if I wanted to 💛29 Apr 2026 10:25 +0000at://did:plc:fo6dpu2gojbbpr442nl6jeif/app.bsky.feed.post/3mkmv3vyvhs2phttps://bsky.app/profile/polyphiliablog.bsky.social/post/3mjnirxfnpk2eA lot of polyamorous people will NOT like what I have to say about this, but…your partner is unfortunately allowed to make the choice to be in shitty, toxic, and even abusive relationships.16 Apr 2026 22:52 +0000at://did:plc:fo6dpu2gojbbpr442nl6jeif/app.bsky.feed.post/3mjnirxfnpk2ehttps://bsky.app/profile/polyphiliablog.bsky.social/post/3mj6ir2lekc2owhen I meet a polyamorous person who clearly communicates their expectations, respects my boundaries, and knows how to manage their time and energy10 Apr 2026 23:42 +0000at://did:plc:fo6dpu2gojbbpr442nl6jeif/app.bsky.feed.post/3mj6ir2lekc2ohttps://bsky.app/profile/polyphiliablog.bsky.social/post/3mj3ax5kxak2z'Freedom' in polyamory doesn't mean 'doing whatever you want without consequences'. We are 'free' in the sense that we have AGENCY and CHOICE to customise our relationships according to what feels good to the people involved.09 Apr 2026 16:44 +0000at://did:plc:fo6dpu2gojbbpr442nl6jeif/app.bsky.feed.post/3mj3ax5kxak2zhttps://bsky.app/profile/polyphiliablog.bsky.social/post/3mir2f4kgmk2lIf you’re trying polyamory specifically because you want to “trade up” and find a better monogamous partner while keeping your existing partner around as a safety net in case you fail so you never have to be alone...that's not polyamory, that's called monkey branching.05 Apr 2026 15:20 +0000at://did:plc:fo6dpu2gojbbpr442nl6jeif/app.bsky.feed.post/3mir2f4kgmk2lhttps://bsky.app/profile/polyphiliablog.bsky.social/post/3mik32acsoc2qpolyamorous person: I’m really struggling in my relationship! society: hm well it’s your fault cuz polyamory never works, maybe just be normal polyamorous person: I’m really happy in my relationship! society: impossible. you must be lying. or being manipulated. you need help02 Apr 2026 20:43 +0000at://did:plc:fo6dpu2gojbbpr442nl6jeif/app.bsky.feed.post/3mik32acsoc2qhttps://bsky.app/profile/polyphiliablog.bsky.social/post/3mij5jfesis2opolyamorous folks, what is the name of your polycule group chat and why is it “polycool”, “polycute”, or “polycult”02 Apr 2026 11:54 +0000at://did:plc:fo6dpu2gojbbpr442nl6jeif/app.bsky.feed.post/3mij5jfesis2ohttps://bsky.app/profile/polyphiliablog.bsky.social/post/3mieju754322rWe live in a ragebait economy where most people are more interested in mess, drama, and confirming their existing biases than learning about healthy polyamorous relationships.31 Mar 2026 15:52 +0000at://did:plc:fo6dpu2gojbbpr442nl6jeif/app.bsky.feed.post/3mieju754322rhttps://bsky.app/profile/polyphiliablog.bsky.social/post/3mi56xjzrn226to every polyamorous man who says “I only let my bi girlfriend/wife date women because I know she’ll never leave me for a woman” - karma is about to come at you real fast28 Mar 2026 17:48 +0000at://did:plc:fo6dpu2gojbbpr442nl6jeif/app.bsky.feed.post/3mi56xjzrn226https://bsky.app/profile/polyphiliablog.bsky.social/post/3mi4rd5cnns26There are three types of polyamorous people: those who send personalised messages to each of their partners, those who send the same message to all their partners, and those who just text the group chat.28 Mar 2026 13:44 +0000at://did:plc:fo6dpu2gojbbpr442nl6jeif/app.bsky.feed.post/3mi4rd5cnns26https://bsky.app/profile/polyphiliablog.bsky.social/post/3mi2uigvmys2oIf you are polyamorous and you don’t disclose that in your dating profile (esp on mainstream apps), sure, you’ll probably get more matches and a small ego boost…until you realise the majority of them are monogamous people who aren’t looking for the same thing, and will likely be upset with you.27 Mar 2026 19:36 +0000at://did:plc:fo6dpu2gojbbpr442nl6jeif/app.bsky.feed.post/3mi2uigvmys2ohttps://bsky.app/profile/polyphiliablog.bsky.social/post/3mhjt6z3ijs2yWhat do Lily Allen and Lindy West have in common? They're both women who have recently published works that led to the entire internet dunking on the polyamorous community. *sarcastically* YAY! My thoughts as a non-monogamist of 10 years and a polyamory educator of 5...21 Mar 2026 00:57 +0000at://did:plc:fo6dpu2gojbbpr442nl6jeif/app.bsky.feed.post/3mhjt6z3ijs2yhttps://bsky.app/profile/polyphiliablog.bsky.social/post/3mhg742yubs2eIf someone isn't treating you the way you feel you deserve in your polyamorous relationship despite multiple a) reminders of your needs, b) conversations about boundaries, and c) requests for change, you have put in your fair share of effort already, and they are simply not the person for you.19 Mar 2026 14:20 +0000at://did:plc:fo6dpu2gojbbpr442nl6jeif/app.bsky.feed.post/3mhg742yubs2ehttps://bsky.app/profile/polyphiliablog.bsky.social/post/3mhg6n7uhbc2yRelationship orientation exists on a spectrum, so that means someone out there is the Most Polyamorous Person On Earth. It's you 🎉19 Mar 2026 14:11 +0000at://did:plc:fo6dpu2gojbbpr442nl6jeif/app.bsky.feed.post/3mhg6n7uhbc2yhttps://bsky.app/profile/polyphiliablog.bsky.social/post/3mh6zjam4jc2zHudson Williams being a bisexual polyamorous king according to this Twitter AI summary is sending me 🤣16 Mar 2026 17:51 +0000at://did:plc:fo6dpu2gojbbpr442nl6jeif/app.bsky.feed.post/3mh6zjam4jc2zhttps://bsky.app/profile/polyphiliablog.bsky.social/post/3mh46qiuejs25When I say I don't recommend opening your relationship unless you are genuinely prepared for the relationship to change and potentially to end, this isn't because I think polyamory is bad or doomed to fail. It's because any change involves uncertainty and risk.15 Mar 2026 14:47 +0000at://did:plc:fo6dpu2gojbbpr442nl6jeif/app.bsky.feed.post/3mh46qiuejs25https://bsky.app/profile/polyphiliablog.bsky.social/post/3mgvugkozb22iI don’t mind couples seeking threesomes on dating apps as long as they are upfront about it. But if you use the woman as bait and sneak the man in the last photo, not only is that predatory creep behaviour, it also tells me you don’t like your partner enough to show them off.13 Mar 2026 02:26 +0000at://did:plc:fo6dpu2gojbbpr442nl6jeif/app.bsky.feed.post/3mgvugkozb22ihttps://bsky.app/profile/polyphiliablog.bsky.social/post/3mgukc2qmld2iSomething we don't talk enough about in polyamory is how there is this subtle pressure not to "rain on your partner's parade" - and that can lead some people to not be fully honest about how they are feeling, even when they REALLY need to be.12 Mar 2026 13:52 +0000at://did:plc:fo6dpu2gojbbpr442nl6jeif/app.bsky.feed.post/3mgukc2qmld2ihttps://bsky.app/profile/polyphiliablog.bsky.social/post/3mguk3evl222iIn polyamory, with freedom comes responsibility. If you want to connect with multiple people, you also have to be prepared to support multiple people with their emotions, including the difficult ones. Unfortunately, here's where I see this typically go wrong...12 Mar 2026 13:48 +0000at://did:plc:fo6dpu2gojbbpr442nl6jeif/app.bsky.feed.post/3mguk3evl222ihttps://bsky.app/profile/polyphiliablog.bsky.social/post/3mgujwmdcmk2iTwo things can be true at the same time: your partner deserves to be happy about their connections with other people, AND your tender feelings also deserve support and consideration.12 Mar 2026 13:46 +0000at://did:plc:fo6dpu2gojbbpr442nl6jeif/app.bsky.feed.post/3mgujwmdcmk2ihttps://bsky.app/profile/polyphiliablog.bsky.social/post/3mg3q4x4cdc2tHere are the signs that show you may 🚩 lack emotional awareness 🚩 in non-monogamy - and how to fix it 🧵02 Mar 2026 17:00 +0000at://did:plc:fo6dpu2gojbbpr442nl6jeif/app.bsky.feed.post/3mg3q4x4cdc2t