Deep Fried Philosopher, Uncommon Sense Advocatehttps://bsky.app/profile/brockteee.bsky.socialhttps://bsky.app/profile/brockteee.bsky.social/post/3mabmlm6n522aTexting my wife that if she needs me I'll be chugging eggnog under the mistletoe.18 Dec 2025 16:41 +0000at://did:plc:fwof2ec6gfhrpyuifeg5eehw/app.bsky.feed.post/3mabmlm6n522ahttps://bsky.app/profile/brockteee.bsky.social/post/3m7lbysnvis2iYou have the right to remain sexy, don't change.09 Dec 2025 19:33 +0000at://did:plc:fwof2ec6gfhrpyuifeg5eehw/app.bsky.feed.post/3m7lbysnvis2ihttps://bsky.app/profile/brockteee.bsky.social/post/3m6pcit44xk22Oh Christmas Tree Oh Christmas Tree, my shed's to full to find you.28 Nov 2025 16:28 +0000at://did:plc:fwof2ec6gfhrpyuifeg5eehw/app.bsky.feed.post/3m6pcit44xk22https://bsky.app/profile/brockteee.bsky.social/post/3m6hmychxhk2dIf she don't tell you that you have Turkey giblets in your beard is it even real?25 Nov 2025 15:14 +0000at://did:plc:fwof2ec6gfhrpyuifeg5eehw/app.bsky.feed.post/3m6hmychxhk2dhttps://bsky.app/profile/brockteee.bsky.social/post/3m6ezjr4z422e"That's it, slather and baste it like a Good Girl." -Me encouraging my wife on Thanksgiving24 Nov 2025 14:21 +0000at://did:plc:fwof2ec6gfhrpyuifeg5eehw/app.bsky.feed.post/3m6ezjr4z422ehttps://bsky.app/profile/brockteee.bsky.social/post/3m65kggbgbs2rNormalize glazing the Friendsgiving ham with awkward eye contact.21 Nov 2025 15:02 +0000at://did:plc:fwof2ec6gfhrpyuifeg5eehw/app.bsky.feed.post/3m65kggbgbs2rhttps://bsky.app/profile/brockteee.bsky.social/post/3m5cq3yzswc2zThe Government isn't shutdown anymore, which is now the perfect opportunity for it to shutup.10 Nov 2025 23:01 +0000at://did:plc:fwof2ec6gfhrpyuifeg5eehw/app.bsky.feed.post/3m5cq3yzswc2zhttps://bsky.app/profile/brockteee.bsky.social/post/3m4qy4i7f222bI hate to see Christmas coming the last couple of years, can somebody cancel Santa Claus? I'm sure he's done something shady over the last 1000 years.03 Nov 2025 21:37 +0000at://did:plc:fwof2ec6gfhrpyuifeg5eehw/app.bsky.feed.post/3m4qy4i7f222bhttps://bsky.app/profile/brockteee.bsky.social/post/3m4golvhhrs2iEverytime I heard the word foliage this time of year, as a kid, I always thought my family was just really impressed with tin foil.30 Oct 2025 19:20 +0000at://did:plc:fwof2ec6gfhrpyuifeg5eehw/app.bsky.feed.post/3m4golvhhrs2ihttps://bsky.app/profile/brockteee.bsky.social/post/3m46ogpfex227Trunk-or-treat sounds more like a kidnapping propostion.27 Oct 2025 14:56 +0000at://did:plc:fwof2ec6gfhrpyuifeg5eehw/app.bsky.feed.post/3m46ogpfex227https://bsky.app/profile/brockteee.bsky.social/post/3m3vdiivacs24Today at the self-check out, the scan gun started ringing and I had a flashback to 1998, then answered the damn thing.23 Oct 2025 21:46 +0000at://did:plc:fwof2ec6gfhrpyuifeg5eehw/app.bsky.feed.post/3m3vdiivacs24https://bsky.app/profile/brockteee.bsky.social/post/3m3rwsbbrrs2aWould you like some scorn with that Scone?22 Oct 2025 13:21 +0000at://did:plc:fwof2ec6gfhrpyuifeg5eehw/app.bsky.feed.post/3m3rwsbbrrs2ahttps://bsky.app/profile/brockteee.bsky.social/post/3m3q5p4qyas23People keep telling me that I should give straight, black coffee a chance but why does it feel like I'm being set up for a date?21 Oct 2025 20:19 +0000at://did:plc:fwof2ec6gfhrpyuifeg5eehw/app.bsky.feed.post/3m3q5p4qyas23https://bsky.app/profile/brockteee.bsky.social/post/3m3dabewoms2rIf you show me a picture on your phone, I'm swiping left to watch you panic.16 Oct 2025 17:00 +0000at://did:plc:fwof2ec6gfhrpyuifeg5eehw/app.bsky.feed.post/3m3dabewoms2rhttps://bsky.app/profile/brockteee.bsky.social/post/3m2n3yfc54c2oI bet Netflix has it right, these serial killers were just charismatic romantics who just made a few mistakes along the way.07 Oct 2025 21:45 +0000at://did:plc:fwof2ec6gfhrpyuifeg5eehw/app.bsky.feed.post/3m2n3yfc54c2ohttps://bsky.app/profile/brockteee.bsky.social/post/3m27smvmkbs2mSo far this week online, I've learned that pumpkins and cool air activate feral witches.02 Oct 2025 14:53 +0000at://did:plc:fwof2ec6gfhrpyuifeg5eehw/app.bsky.feed.post/3m27smvmkbs2mhttps://bsky.app/profile/brockteee.bsky.social/post/3m22xygnolk2sStop panic skeeting or I'm taking your phone away.30 Sep 2025 16:46 +0000at://did:plc:fwof2ec6gfhrpyuifeg5eehw/app.bsky.feed.post/3m22xygnolk2shttps://bsky.app/profile/brockteee.bsky.social/post/3lzjt4ydxdk2pRaptured mid-intercourse = the ultimate edging23 Sep 2025 21:03 +0000at://did:plc:fwof2ec6gfhrpyuifeg5eehw/app.bsky.feed.post/3lzjt4ydxdk2phttps://bsky.app/profile/brockteee.bsky.social/post/3lzj5tawi4s2nChurches could at least be serving rapture scones and coffee.23 Sep 2025 14:42 +0000at://did:plc:fwof2ec6gfhrpyuifeg5eehw/app.bsky.feed.post/3lzj5tawi4s2nhttps://bsky.app/profile/brockteee.bsky.social/post/3lzglmax2bs26The Rapture is happening tomorrow apparently, so if you don't wanna go, i highly recommend chaining yourself to cinder blocks.22 Sep 2025 14:11 +0000at://did:plc:fwof2ec6gfhrpyuifeg5eehw/app.bsky.feed.post/3lzglmax2bs26https://bsky.app/profile/brockteee.bsky.social/post/3lyxpaczqhs2oEarly Gym sesh 😴16 Sep 2025 16:06 +0000at://did:plc:fwof2ec6gfhrpyuifeg5eehw/app.bsky.feed.post/3lyxpaczqhs2ohttps://bsky.app/profile/brockteee.bsky.social/post/3lyvldx5fuk2hHope you find everything you are looking for in life, especially that tv remote that you haven't seen in 6 months.15 Sep 2025 19:51 +0000at://did:plc:fwof2ec6gfhrpyuifeg5eehw/app.bsky.feed.post/3lyvldx5fuk2hhttps://bsky.app/profile/brockteee.bsky.social/post/3lylggnhpa22c*Pressure washes timeline for 12 hours*11 Sep 2025 18:56 +0000at://did:plc:fwof2ec6gfhrpyuifeg5eehw/app.bsky.feed.post/3lylggnhpa22chttps://bsky.app/profile/brockteee.bsky.social/post/3lyg5w53xsc2wMy mom is a boomer so if she sent me 70k text messages it would take her 70k years to send them.09 Sep 2025 16:41 +0000at://did:plc:fwof2ec6gfhrpyuifeg5eehw/app.bsky.feed.post/3lyg5w53xsc2whttps://bsky.app/profile/brockteee.bsky.social/post/3ly22vlekhk2s"I'm not overcaffeinated!" I said, as I was jogging the block in my sleep.04 Sep 2025 21:15 +0000at://did:plc:fwof2ec6gfhrpyuifeg5eehw/app.bsky.feed.post/3ly22vlekhk2s