professional amateur/poaster's apprentice if I bother you, tell me to go work on my book no, i'm not Ellie Lockhart's kid mrsomerton.substack.comhttps://bsky.app/profile/mrsomerton.bsky.socialhttps://bsky.app/profile/mrsomerton.bsky.social/post/3muxv4ekcac2lNEW ON SUBSTACK: for the (probably none of) you who read Part 1 of The Nerve, I now present: Part 2 of The Nerve! *count von count voice* AH AH AH! (no, but seriously, please read this, I would really appreciate it) https://mrsomerton.substack.com/p/the-nerve-part-208 Sep 2026 01:36 +0000at://did:plc:ivn5reqeu2eg2pjdotqgyj6c/app.bsky.feed.post/3muxv4ekcac2lhttps://bsky.app/profile/mrsomerton.bsky.social/post/3mupra42w622rhad to rep for my crew [contains quote post or other embedded content]04 Sep 2026 20:06 +0000at://did:plc:ivn5reqeu2eg2pjdotqgyj6c/app.bsky.feed.post/3mupra42w622rhttps://bsky.app/profile/mrsomerton.bsky.social/post/3mtub2xush22wNEW ON SUBSTACK: the following is a preview of a much longer article coming out next week, enjoy! https://mrsomerton.substack.com/p/the-2026-nfl-season-in-32-sentences24 Aug 2026 21:34 +0000at://did:plc:ivn5reqeu2eg2pjdotqgyj6c/app.bsky.feed.post/3mtub2xush22whttps://bsky.app/profile/mrsomerton.bsky.social/post/3mta24vebkk2o https://docs.google.com/document/d/1VyVF5JKzrdt61iYZOGt-Iefx3_SmE8NxgJPkf2d71rc/edit?usp=sharing16 Aug 2026 20:37 +0000at://did:plc:ivn5reqeu2eg2pjdotqgyj6c/app.bsky.feed.post/3mta24vebkk2ohttps://bsky.app/profile/mrsomerton.bsky.social/post/3mtcjai3ylc2qwe are sick and tired of the feminization of our leopards. they should start eating people’s faces again, like real men do [contains quote post or other embedded content]17 Aug 2026 20:13 +0000at://did:plc:ivn5reqeu2eg2pjdotqgyj6c/app.bsky.feed.post/3mtcjai3ylc2qhttps://bsky.app/profile/mrsomerton.bsky.social/post/3mt7o5yjhck2cNEW ON SUBSTACK: the following is part 1 of a story i’ve been working on for quite some time…. hope you enjoy! https://mrsomerton.substack.com/p/the-nerve-prologuepart-116 Aug 2026 17:03 +0000at://did:plc:ivn5reqeu2eg2pjdotqgyj6c/app.bsky.feed.post/3mt7o5yjhck2chttps://bsky.app/profile/mrsomerton.bsky.social/post/3mtcdgm7os22d [contains quote post or other embedded content]17 Aug 2026 18:29 +0000at://did:plc:ivn5reqeu2eg2pjdotqgyj6c/app.bsky.feed.post/3mtcdgm7os22dhttps://bsky.app/profile/mrsomerton.bsky.social/post/3mqdouq3aqk2vif you're reading this go to bed11 Jul 2026 03:11 +0000at://did:plc:ivn5reqeu2eg2pjdotqgyj6c/app.bsky.feed.post/3mqdouq3aqk2vhttps://bsky.app/profile/mrsomerton.bsky.social/post/3mta24vebkk2o https://docs.google.com/document/d/1VyVF5JKzrdt61iYZOGt-Iefx3_SmE8NxgJPkf2d71rc/edit?usp=sharing16 Aug 2026 20:37 +0000at://did:plc:ivn5reqeu2eg2pjdotqgyj6c/app.bsky.feed.post/3mta24vebkk2ohttps://bsky.app/profile/mrsomerton.bsky.social/post/3mt7zxm4ppc2oSHOCKING NEWS: the Bluesky Elite (tm) is trying to keep you, the American People, from exercising your God-given right to read @eleanor.lockhart.contact's profile. call your congressman today!16 Aug 2026 20:34 +0000at://did:plc:ivn5reqeu2eg2pjdotqgyj6c/app.bsky.feed.post/3mt7zxm4ppc2ohttps://bsky.app/profile/mrsomerton.bsky.social/post/3mt7o5yjhck2cNEW ON SUBSTACK: the following is part 1 of a story i’ve been working on for quite some time…. hope you enjoy! https://mrsomerton.substack.com/p/the-nerve-prologuepart-116 Aug 2026 17:03 +0000at://did:plc:ivn5reqeu2eg2pjdotqgyj6c/app.bsky.feed.post/3mt7o5yjhck2chttps://bsky.app/profile/mrsomerton.bsky.social/post/3mt2jcoiud22nI think what it comes down to is that a lot of journalists like the idea of being crusaders on the front lines. they want to be the brave guy standing in front of the dangerous president and exuding their Brave Journalist Vibes at him so naturally they had a vested bias against President Normal [contains quote post or other embedded content]14 Aug 2026 15:53 +0000at://did:plc:ivn5reqeu2eg2pjdotqgyj6c/app.bsky.feed.post/3mt2jcoiud22nhttps://bsky.app/profile/mrsomerton.bsky.social/post/3mt7hfoplo22bof course there's a fucking Bluesky outage the MOMENT i come back. God is real and He's sending me a message16 Aug 2026 15:02 +0000at://did:plc:ivn5reqeu2eg2pjdotqgyj6c/app.bsky.feed.post/3mt7hfoplo22bhttps://bsky.app/profile/mrsomerton.bsky.social/post/3mt7grj6chk2gthe Penn Station track layout looks cursed as hell. could probably summon Cthulhu with this thing16 Aug 2026 14:51 +0000at://did:plc:ivn5reqeu2eg2pjdotqgyj6c/app.bsky.feed.post/3mt7grj6chk2ghttps://bsky.app/profile/mrsomerton.bsky.social/post/3mt7g7scfvk2g*logs back in to Bluesky*16 Aug 2026 14:41 +0000at://did:plc:ivn5reqeu2eg2pjdotqgyj6c/app.bsky.feed.post/3mt7g7scfvk2ghttps://bsky.app/profile/mrsomerton.bsky.social/post/3mt3jp74fkc2zreally, I think @hellspatisserie.bsky.social said it best on the other site: [contains quote post or other embedded content]15 Aug 2026 01:32 +0000at://did:plc:ivn5reqeu2eg2pjdotqgyj6c/app.bsky.feed.post/3mt3jp74fkc2zhttps://bsky.app/profile/mrsomerton.bsky.social/post/3mt2jxjmbj22cok, i'm taking another break. i'm still not convinced I shouldn't deactivate, not gonna lie. see you later this weekend, I guess14 Aug 2026 16:04 +0000at://did:plc:ivn5reqeu2eg2pjdotqgyj6c/app.bsky.feed.post/3mt2jxjmbj22chttps://bsky.app/profile/mrsomerton.bsky.social/post/3mt2jsufngc24and now he's trying to claim that the trash bin man was the "establishment candidate". no, seriously [contains quote post or other embedded content]14 Aug 2026 16:02 +0000at://did:plc:ivn5reqeu2eg2pjdotqgyj6c/app.bsky.feed.post/3mt2jsufngc24https://bsky.app/profile/mrsomerton.bsky.social/post/3mt2jcoiud22nI think what it comes down to is that a lot of journalists like the idea of being crusaders on the front lines. they want to be the brave guy standing in front of the dangerous president and exuding their Brave Journalist Vibes at him so naturally they had a vested bias against President Normal [contains quote post or other embedded content]14 Aug 2026 15:53 +0000at://did:plc:ivn5reqeu2eg2pjdotqgyj6c/app.bsky.feed.post/3mt2jcoiud22nhttps://bsky.app/profile/mrsomerton.bsky.social/post/3mt2j22srok2nam I crazy or does this not mean anything? I just do not see the correlation here14 Aug 2026 15:48 +0000at://did:plc:ivn5reqeu2eg2pjdotqgyj6c/app.bsky.feed.post/3mt2j22srok2nhttps://bsky.app/profile/mrsomerton.bsky.social/post/3mt2iqullkc2yAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAbgywEbhjahgswjuhybkugtrj14 Aug 2026 15:43 +0000at://did:plc:ivn5reqeu2eg2pjdotqgyj6c/app.bsky.feed.post/3mt2iqullkc2yhttps://bsky.app/profile/mrsomerton.bsky.social/post/3mt2i6lppds2bman, they've really cheaped out for this Pink Panther remake [contains quote post or other embedded content]14 Aug 2026 15:33 +0000at://did:plc:ivn5reqeu2eg2pjdotqgyj6c/app.bsky.feed.post/3mt2i6lppds2bhttps://bsky.app/profile/mrsomerton.bsky.social/post/3msyzkkqsmk2iall timer reaction image just dropped [contains quote post or other embedded content]14 Aug 2026 01:38 +0000at://did:plc:ivn5reqeu2eg2pjdotqgyj6c/app.bsky.feed.post/3msyzkkqsmk2ihttps://bsky.app/profile/mrsomerton.bsky.social/post/3mt2h25sdwk2sactually, it is Eurocentric and ableist for everyone on the train to have hearing. to achieve redistributive justice, only I must be allowed to have hearing [contains quote post or other embedded content]14 Aug 2026 15:12 +0000at://did:plc:ivn5reqeu2eg2pjdotqgyj6c/app.bsky.feed.post/3mt2h25sdwk2shttps://bsky.app/profile/mrsomerton.bsky.social/post/3mt2gd22pqk2oMullin, cont: "That fight is the one we fight against ourselves, to keep us from killing every fisherman we see on sight..." [contains quote post or other embedded content]14 Aug 2026 14:59 +0000at://did:plc:ivn5reqeu2eg2pjdotqgyj6c/app.bsky.feed.post/3mt2gd22pqk2o