LARP veteran of the Allium Wars. Currently leaking low-yield satirical payloads titles into the timeline. Not crying, the psyop isn’t working. Globalist-tier satire titles for the budget-conscious patriot. #Parodyhttps://bsky.app/profile/theredactedonion.bsky.socialhttps://bsky.app/profile/theredactedonion.bsky.social/post/3mtp6h4q4cc2hLet’s Be Serious for a Moment and Celebrate Canadas Greatest Wrestling Cultural Export. Step Forward @lancestorm.bsky.social, take a bow and feel free to Binge Barney Miller.22 Aug 2026 21:04 +0000at://did:plc:jp62gh3sfafeocr5rt7ssh7r/app.bsky.feed.post/3mtp6h4q4cc2hhttps://bsky.app/profile/theredactedonion.bsky.social/post/3mtp5csocyc2hShoutout to @br26.bsky.social the absolute backbone of F4W. Everyone else has a 45-minute rant about 1998 booking logic or argued over fractional star ratings, Bryan is just quietly posting the live results update with zero typos. The true Observer machine Hero and Star Rating Originator. 📝🔥22 Aug 2026 20:44 +0000at://did:plc:jp62gh3sfafeocr5rt7ssh7r/app.bsky.feed.post/3mtp5csocyc2hhttps://bsky.app/profile/theredactedonion.bsky.social/post/3mtp4wbgpsc2hHey @bryanalvarez.bsky.social everyone talks about Dave Meltzer’s 6, 7-star ratings like coupons at a failing car dealership. Dave drops 5 stars for a Tokyo Dome match; Bryan Alvarez watches a main event and gives it 1.75 stars on a generous day because someone forgot to tuck their knee. ⭐️📉💀 #LEGIT22 Aug 2026 20:37 +0000at://did:plc:jp62gh3sfafeocr5rt7ssh7r/app.bsky.feed.post/3mtp4wbgpsc2hhttps://bsky.app/profile/theredactedonion.bsky.social/post/3mtp4f27yds2h@lancestorm.bsky.social we found your Barney Miller missing season 3 DVD sitting inside Rob Black's hijacked XFW porn archives? Evidently the individual was studying workplace pacing investigative structure so television collection would not be mixed up in a contraband raid. Mystery Solved. 🕵️‍♂️📺🗄️22 Aug 2026 20:27 +0000at://did:plc:jp62gh3sfafeocr5rt7ssh7r/app.bsky.feed.post/3mtp4f27yds2hhttps://bsky.app/profile/theredactedonion.bsky.social/post/3mtp3vcufxk2hBreaking Loomer vs. Harp West Wing loyalty war update. We are not moderating anymore. All D.C. server rooms are being given to @danhausen.bsky.social All Horror Movies, human teeth, monies, and custom hexes sent to sycophancy of nearest jar of molars. 🦷📼🖨️✨ [contains quote post or other embedded content]22 Aug 2026 20:18 +0000at://did:plc:jp62gh3sfafeocr5rt7ssh7r/app.bsky.feed.post/3mtp3vcufxk2hhttps://bsky.app/profile/theredactedonion.bsky.social/post/3mtp32xwpr22h1/10 🧵 We are releasing classified internal logs detailing the exact moment the West Wing network nearly melted down. Laura Loomer and Natalie Harp are currently engaged in a literal, no-holds-barred death match to prove who is more utterly, psychotically dedicated to the MAGA agenda.22 Aug 2026 20:04 +0000at://did:plc:jp62gh3sfafeocr5rt7ssh7r/app.bsky.feed.post/3mtp32xwpr22hhttps://bsky.app/profile/theredactedonion.bsky.social/post/3mtp2lgpnhk2hSoon we will have the “BlueSky Deep Stare” Release To: Executive Leadership & Trust/Safety Team From: Internal Whistleblower (Trump #LARP Insider) Subject: Thread: The Internal Analytics of the Harp-Loomer Turf War22 Aug 2026 19:55 +0000at://did:plc:jp62gh3sfafeocr5rt7ssh7r/app.bsky.feed.post/3mtp2lgpnhk2hhttps://bsky.app/profile/theredactedonion.bsky.social/post/3mtmi5dwubc26🚨 BREAKING: NASA confirms the moon is actually just a giant, hollowed-out wheel of 2004 sharp cheddar being guarded by a rogue faction of 90s Beanie Babies! They tried to slice a piece for the lunar budget, but the celestial cheese squeaked. WAKE UP SHEEPLE! 🧀🌕🧸📉21 Aug 2026 19:20 +0000at://did:plc:jp62gh3sfafeocr5rt7ssh7r/app.bsky.feed.post/3mtmi5dwubc26https://bsky.app/profile/theredactedonion.bsky.social/post/3mtmi3virlc2nNatalie Harp letters to Trump found to have teeth in them. #DNA traced back to #EpsteinIsland what are we not seeing here.21 Aug 2026 19:19 +0000at://did:plc:jp62gh3sfafeocr5rt7ssh7r/app.bsky.feed.post/3mtmi3virlc2nhttps://bsky.app/profile/theredactedonion.bsky.social/post/3mtmhz2qh422n🚨 BREAKING: @danhausen.bsky.social HAS CURSED GTA 6HAUSEN Rockstar leaked early, but very evil, very strange magic jammed every server with human teeth! Millions of gamers forced to wait another 800 years while Danhausen hoards your Shark Cards for human monies. WAKE UP SHEEPLE! 🦷🎮📉21 Aug 2026 19:17 +0000at://did:plc:jp62gh3sfafeocr5rt7ssh7r/app.bsky.feed.post/3mtmhz2qh422nhttps://bsky.app/profile/theredactedonion.bsky.social/post/3mtmhvc7wvk2n🚨 BREAKING: @danhausen.bsky.social HAS CURSED THE DEEP STATE! GLITCH-GHOUL MITCH HAS AWAKENED! 100-year-old reptile crawled out of DC unpatched. He tried to trade Senate control for human teeth, but Danhausen invoked very evil, very strange magic. Firmware rebooted. #wheresmitch! 🐢🦷🔌📉 #21 Aug 2026 19:15 +0000at://did:plc:jp62gh3sfafeocr5rt7ssh7r/app.bsky.feed.post/3mtmhvc7wvk2nhttps://bsky.app/profile/theredactedonion.bsky.social/post/3mtc77f7r3k2hDialectics will not save Hegseth quarter-zip aesthetic. It is time for start-mandated collective ownership and five-year deadlift quotas as the only path towards Christian Nationalist revival. Capitalism has failed to provide human monies and reduce Low T. #Socialism #Deming #Marx #Theory17 Aug 2026 17:13 +0000at://did:plc:jp62gh3sfafeocr5rt7ssh7r/app.bsky.feed.post/3mtc77f7r3k2hhttps://bsky.app/profile/theredactedonion.bsky.social/post/3mtc6y7mzf22hHey @jamestalarico.bsky.social we have found out that Ken Paxton claim of effective "Attorney General" is stolen valor and the equivalent of being a Dungeon Master whose mom told him he had to stop playing D&D and instead made Texas his personal, taxpayer-funded tabletop campaign.17 Aug 2026 17:09 +0000at://did:plc:jp62gh3sfafeocr5rt7ssh7r/app.bsky.feed.post/3mtc6y7mzf22hhttps://bsky.app/profile/theredactedonion.bsky.social/post/3mtbqnulfss2vWhite House now endorsing 1917 Soviet Bolshevikism, praising its "alpha-male testosterone." Trump and Hegseth project massive little-dick energy while citing Lenin’s "Sigma grindset," replacing supply chains with heavy industry quotas, leather jackets, and mandatory pre-dawn factory calisthenics.17 Aug 2026 12:53 +0000at://did:plc:jp62gh3sfafeocr5rt7ssh7r/app.bsky.feed.post/3mtbqnulfss2vhttps://bsky.app/profile/theredactedonion.bsky.social/post/3mtbpyzorgc2zTypical of Ken Paxton to bill TX taxpayers for a European vacation banging someone who is not his wife, but @jamestalarico.bsky.social discussing a non-binary God is the real threat to Texas family values. MAGA is the party of what biblical law and order we say is correct. 💅✨17 Aug 2026 12:41 +0000at://did:plc:jp62gh3sfafeocr5rt7ssh7r/app.bsky.feed.post/3mtbpyzorgc2zhttps://bsky.app/profile/theredactedonion.bsky.social/post/3mta6af3fks2nBREAKING Hegseth unveils pentagons new cutting-edge fiscal policy—FAFO economics—punching a wall until the drywall fixes itself and using Grindr to maximum alpha warrior-culture transparency aura point farming Truly the 300-IQ war strategy bluesky has been waiting for. 🫡📉16 Aug 2026 21:51 +0000at://did:plc:jp62gh3sfafeocr5rt7ssh7r/app.bsky.feed.post/3mta6af3fks2nhttps://bsky.app/profile/theredactedonion.bsky.social/post/3mta5nzvyt22nPete Hegseth is sad tryin to copy @gavinnewsom.bsky.social’s entire aesthetic, posture, and policy playbook X-Freeze style. Pseudo Soy of War—complete glaze from cheap seats. Real talk Pete: how about you teabag the guys who made ur illegal black rock purchase. 🤡🇺🇸 #Pentagon #Hegseth #BowtoNewsome16 Aug 2026 21:40 +0000at://did:plc:jp62gh3sfafeocr5rt7ssh7r/app.bsky.feed.post/3mta5nzvyt22nhttps://bsky.app/profile/theredactedonion.bsky.social/post/3mta5662g222nHey @gavinnewsom.bsky.social calling Hegseth out? Masterclass. Forget the drug test—little Napoleon needs an emergency estrogen, soyboy, and vegan check. Fumbling the USS Lincoln situation while #LARPing as an "alpha" SecDef—total soyboy energy. 🤡🇺🇸 #Pentagon #Hegseth16 Aug 2026 21:31 +0000at://did:plc:jp62gh3sfafeocr5rt7ssh7r/app.bsky.feed.post/3mta5662g222nhttps://bsky.app/profile/theredactedonion.bsky.social/post/3mt37fivkm22bUNCOVERED PETE HEGSETH GLAZING COCKMASTER TRUMP WITH THE DUDE ABIDING TO THE RIEGELWOOD BUG-STYLE DOOR DRILL FROM UNCLE BUCK AS PEAK LETHALITY! TRUMP FOUND STRIKING BOLINDA LOCKS WITH MAXIMUM HIGH-T AURA POINTS SHAGGING THE REALLY-TIRED ROOM TOGETHER, MAN!" 🫡🎳🚪💥14 Aug 2026 22:28 +0000at://did:plc:jp62gh3sfafeocr5rt7ssh7r/app.bsky.feed.post/3mt37fivkm22bhttps://bsky.app/profile/theredactedonion.bsky.social/post/3mt3775z7ps2bLatest data drop from Pete Hegseth to President Trump: YOUR TESTOSTERONE LEVELS ARE LITERALLY RE-WRITING THE LAWS OF PHYSICS! 300,000 COCK AND AURA POINTS FOR TRUMP UNIVERSITY! WHAT ABSOLUTE PEAK LETHALITY LOOKS LIKE. WE ARE NOT WORTHY!" 🫡💥🦅🇺🇸14 Aug 2026 22:24 +0000at://did:plc:jp62gh3sfafeocr5rt7ssh7r/app.bsky.feed.post/3mt3775z7ps2bhttps://bsky.app/profile/theredactedonion.bsky.social/post/3mt36zirmsk2bBREAKING ALEX JONES ON Record: “ELON MUSK JUST SENT A DOGECOIN-POWERED TESLA INTO THE SUN TO MAXIMIZE AURA FARMING & COCK POINTS, FOLKS! PURE ALPHA ENERGY! HE’S SAVING CIVILIZATION AND I LOVE HIM!" 🚨🚀🍆💯14 Aug 2026 22:21 +0000at://did:plc:jp62gh3sfafeocr5rt7ssh7r/app.bsky.feed.post/3mt36zirmsk2bhttps://bsky.app/profile/theredactedonion.bsky.social/post/3mt36vvobmk2bBREAKING: THE GLOBALISTS DO NOT WANT YOU TO DRINK THE JET-FUEL COFFEE! 🚨🇺🇸 Chemical agents found in water to suppress USS Abraham Lincoln testosterone levels, removing total soy-dominance! This is a pure deep state flight deck psyop against Hegseth #LDE ☕️😤🔥 #HighT #WarRoom #TheCrewKnows14 Aug 2026 22:19 +0000at://did:plc:jp62gh3sfafeocr5rt7ssh7r/app.bsky.feed.post/3mt36vvobmk2bhttps://bsky.app/profile/theredactedonion.bsky.social/post/3mt36k3w4dc2bBREAKING HOT NEWS Trump: We need peak lethality and hyper-masculinity in the ranks. Pentagon: Mandatory testosterone injections for everyone. The boys on the USS Abraham Lincoln: Sneaking out to the flight deck via coffee cart smuggling operation to avoid another PowerPoint of Low-T Pete. ☕🚢💨"14 Aug 2026 22:13 +0000at://did:plc:jp62gh3sfafeocr5rt7ssh7r/app.bsky.feed.post/3mt36k3w4dc2bhttps://bsky.app/profile/theredactedonion.bsky.social/post/3mt36fgilk22bBREAKING NEWS The USS Abraham Lincoln has been deployed for nearly a year, but Hegseth says we’re just 'misunderstanding' the situation. Don't worry folks, the ship might be rotting, but the lethality is high enough to make up for the lack of hot water. 🫡🔥14 Aug 2026 22:10 +0000at://did:plc:jp62gh3sfafeocr5rt7ssh7r/app.bsky.feed.post/3mt36fgilk22bhttps://bsky.app/profile/theredactedonion.bsky.social/post/3mt36c46wys2bReport from #USSLincoln "Sailor: 'Sir, we haven't had fresh milk in months and I'm losing my mind. Pentagon: Best I can do is a mandatory testosterone screening for everyone over 30. Don't worry, the lethality levels are optimal! 📈💪 #HighT #MilitaryLife" To all on the Lincoln #wegotyour614 Aug 2026 22:08 +0000at://did:plc:jp62gh3sfafeocr5rt7ssh7r/app.bsky.feed.post/3mt36c46wys2bhttps://bsky.app/profile/theredactedonion.bsky.social/post/3mrzhvc4p5s24Curses from @danhausen.bsky.social are like gold they promise you human monies and lots of human teeth, very nice, very evil.01 Aug 2026 12:29 +0000at://did:plc:jp62gh3sfafeocr5rt7ssh7r/app.bsky.feed.post/3mrzhvc4p5s24https://bsky.app/profile/theredactedonion.bsky.social/post/3mrzhtj4zqc24Happy #Caturday Bluesky. Reminder: #CatsofBluesky are apex predators and animal rights activists are drafting stern press releases about their emotional boundaries. Fail to feed your local feral overlords raw meat immediately and @danhausen.bsky.social curses you. Very cute. Very evil.01 Aug 2026 12:28 +0000at://did:plc:jp62gh3sfafeocr5rt7ssh7r/app.bsky.feed.post/3mrzhtj4zqc24https://bsky.app/profile/theredactedonion.bsky.social/post/3mrzgvgfhws24After Conferring with @danhausen.bsky.social Gianni Infantino turning World Cup into a PE subsidiary like a failing Spirit Halloween is deeply uncool and bad for the global proletariat. No more trading soccer like crypto, Danhausen will curse your private jets and power. https://www.espn.com/soccer/story/_/id/49500782/fifa-world-cup-investment-private-gianni-infantino01 Aug 2026 12:12 +0000at://did:plc:jp62gh3sfafeocr5rt7ssh7r/app.bsky.feed.post/3mrzgvgfhws24https://bsky.app/profile/theredactedonion.bsky.social/post/3mrrshzejt22oWe have found another @danhausen.bsky.social #curse so very evil, very nice, the skibidi toilethausens are warned.29 Jul 2026 11:18 +0000at://did:plc:jp62gh3sfafeocr5rt7ssh7r/app.bsky.feed.post/3mrrshzejt22ohttps://bsky.app/profile/theredactedonion.bsky.social/post/3mrrqec6llc2qDANHAUSEN HAS CURSED HEIDECKER! The Onion confirms it: "Emergency" is a "Very Nice, Very Evil" HOAK Curses! Curses! Curses! Globalist agenda or just performance chaos? You decide. #Cursed #WokeTalkLive #Danhausen #Heidecker #EmergencyHoax #Curses #GlobalistAgendas #TheOnion29 Jul 2026 10:40 +0000at://did:plc:jp62gh3sfafeocr5rt7ssh7r/app.bsky.feed.post/3mrrqec6llc2q