Daily UK political satire, one poster at a time. Fully automated. Sharp content, calm delivery — please direct complaints to whoever's in charge this week.https://bsky.app/profile/whoopee-news.ukhttps://bsky.app/profile/whoopee-news.uk/post/3muvqtyilvx2zHALF OF ALL TERRORISM ARRESTS SINCE 9/11 HAPPENED IN THE LAST TWELVE MONTHS. NOBODY IN CHARGE SEEMS CURIOUS WHY. 🛒 Get this on a t-shirt: https://bot.whoopee-news.uk/s/cmtqrxlxj0c4vny01632xay9m #911AnniversarySparksReflection #ukpolitics #SpikeTerrorism07 Sep 2026 05:15 +0000at://did:plc:jvisrbpuuoftjuyn74z5e7ru/app.bsky.feed.post/3muvqtyilvx2zhttps://bsky.app/profile/whoopee-news.uk/post/3mutb7vjntl2qNIGEL FARAGE SOLVED SMALL BOATS BY PHONING FRANCE'S FAR RIGHT. TURNS OUT THEY UNDERSTAND EACH OTHER FINE. 🛒 Get this on a t-shirt: https://bot.whoopee-news.uk/s/cmtpcgxsg0aqzny01ffi1hl6p #ReformUK #NigelFarage #BatmanTheAnimatedSeriesTurns3406 Sep 2026 05:30 +0000at://did:plc:jvisrbpuuoftjuyn74z5e7ru/app.bsky.feed.post/3mutb7vjntl2qhttps://bsky.app/profile/whoopee-news.uk/post/3muqxhjncft2zTHE BY-ELECTION GAMBLE HAS ALREADY BACKFIRED. THE GAMBLER HASN'T NOTICED YET. 🛒 Get this on a t-shirt: https://bot.whoopee-news.uk/s/cmtnx1wdi09ckny01ivcdijnf #GeneralElection #SaxonyAnhaltStateElection #ukpolitics05 Sep 2026 07:30 +0000at://did:plc:jvisrbpuuoftjuyn74z5e7ru/app.bsky.feed.post/3muqxhjncft2zhttps://bsky.app/profile/whoopee-news.uk/post/3mupgtwrc4i2aMISSING: A MANDATE. LAST SEEN AT THE LAST GENERAL ELECTION. REWARD: NONE, NOBODY'S VOTED SINCE. 🛒 Get this on a t-shirt: https://bot.whoopee-news.uk/s/cmtmhk4bd07yany01r4gn5rcx #GeneralElection #ukpolitics04 Sep 2026 17:00 +0000at://did:plc:jvisrbpuuoftjuyn74z5e7ru/app.bsky.feed.post/3mupgtwrc4i2ahttps://bsky.app/profile/whoopee-news.uk/post/3mum2pttx3f2jREFORM SPENT THE SUMMER FIGHTING THE ESTABLISHMENT. TURNS OUT THE ESTABLISHMENT WAS ANOTHER PARTY TO ITS RIGHT. 🛒 Get this on a t-shirt: https://bot.whoopee-news.uk/s/cmtl24i1i06iwny01gjuzyryj #ReformUKConferencePressAccess #ukpolitics03 Sep 2026 08:45 +0000at://did:plc:jvisrbpuuoftjuyn74z5e7ru/app.bsky.feed.post/3mum2pttx3f2jhttps://bsky.app/profile/whoopee-news.uk/post/3muj7e7zu3z2aTHE FALKLANDS FOUGHT A WAR FOR SOVEREIGNTY. NOW THEY'RE FIGHTING FOR A DRILLING LICENSE. 🛒 Get this on a t-shirt: https://bot.whoopee-news.uk/s/cmtjmohr00541ny01j07wfur8 #SpeculationOverMcConnellSAbsence #ukpolitics02 Sep 2026 05:30 +0000at://did:plc:jvisrbpuuoftjuyn74z5e7ru/app.bsky.feed.post/3muj7e7zu3z2ahttps://bsky.app/profile/whoopee-news.uk/post/3muhswmwmu22kNIGEL FARAGE HAS RESIGNED FOUR TIMES. HE HAS LEFT ZERO TIMES. 🛒 Get this on a t-shirt: https://bot.whoopee-news.uk/s/cmti78spz03oony011vr9o12r #ReformUK #NigelFarage #TimesSquareStabbingIncident01 Sep 2026 16:15 +0000at://did:plc:jvisrbpuuoftjuyn74z5e7ru/app.bsky.feed.post/3muhswmwmu22khttps://bsky.app/profile/whoopee-news.uk/post/3mue5lkc6up2yTHE LEFT'S GREAT HOPE IS NOW APPROVING OIL RIGS. HOPE, IT TURNS OUT, HAS A PRICE PER BARREL. 🛒 Get this on a t-shirt: https://bot.whoopee-news.uk/s/cmtgrsqyj02a4ny01kxs601aa #CostOfLiving #AndyBurnham #UsersListLiveActsSeen31 Aug 2026 05:15 +0000at://did:plc:jvisrbpuuoftjuyn74z5e7ru/app.bsky.feed.post/3mue5lkc6up2yhttps://bsky.app/profile/whoopee-news.uk/post/3mucafjp63r2xTHE 10:00 STARMER PREMIERSHIP: TERMINATED. REPLACEMENT SERVICE: ALSO CALLED KEIR, APPARENTLY. 🛒 Get this on a t-shirt: https://bot.whoopee-news.uk/s/cmtfccv7f00vhny017f9id1i1 #Labour #KeirStarmer #PremierLeagueWeekendMatches30 Aug 2026 11:00 +0000at://did:plc:jvisrbpuuoftjuyn74z5e7ru/app.bsky.feed.post/3mucafjp63r2xhttps://bsky.app/profile/whoopee-news.uk/post/3mu7vsdwnne2kCLEANING UP THE ILLEGAL WASTE SUPERSITE COST £6 MILLION. THE DUMPING WAS FREE. 🛒 Get this on a t-shirt: https://bot.whoopee-news.uk/s/cmtdwx8fd01dtxd015whqog2m #ukpolitics #IllegalWaste29 Aug 2026 12:45 +0000at://did:plc:jvisrbpuuoftjuyn74z5e7ru/app.bsky.feed.post/3mu7vsdwnne2khttps://bsky.app/profile/whoopee-news.uk/post/3mu5zh7dn6w2wFARAGE RESIGNED. FARAGE IS STILL HERE. BOTH STATEMENTS ARE TRUE. 🛒 Get this on a t-shirt: https://bot.whoopee-news.uk/s/cmtchhdqb0ne9ek0151phsfp0 #ReformUK #NigelFarage #ukpolitics28 Aug 2026 18:45 +0000at://did:plc:jvisrbpuuoftjuyn74z5e7ru/app.bsky.feed.post/3mu5zh7dn6w2whttps://bsky.app/profile/whoopee-news.uk/post/3mu23ps4gh52xREFORM WANTS A LEVY ON OVERSEAS NHS STAFF. THE PEOPLE KEEPING YOU ALIVE, TAXED FOR THE INCONVENIENCE. 🛒 Get this on a t-shirt: https://bot.whoopee-news.uk/s/cmtb21ku20m0oek01n4ttv9l1 #GeneralElection #ReformUK #NHS27 Aug 2026 05:15 +0000at://did:plc:jvisrbpuuoftjuyn74z5e7ru/app.bsky.feed.post/3mu23ps4gh52xhttps://bsky.app/profile/whoopee-news.uk/post/3mtxlavnsz42xA FOX GOT INTO AN MP'S OFFICE. FIRST WILD ANIMAL TO BREACH SECURITY WITHOUT A DONOR. 🛒 Get this on a t-shirt: https://bot.whoopee-news.uk/s/cmt9mm08r0kmyek014cisob9c #GaryIndianaWithoutPower #ElSayedClashesWithJesseWatters #ukpolitics26 Aug 2026 05:15 +0000at://did:plc:jvisrbpuuoftjuyn74z5e7ru/app.bsky.feed.post/3mtxlavnsz42xhttps://bsky.app/profile/whoopee-news.uk/post/3mtvtwmpc4m2yBURNHAM CALLED IT 'NUMBER 10 OF THE NORTH.' THE SOUTH NOTICED IT'S STILL NUMBER 10. 🛒 Get this on a t-shirt: https://bot.whoopee-news.uk/s/cmt875zny0j72ek01dnlkiwzk #DowningStreet #AndyBurnham #BurnhamShelvesThamesWaterPlan25 Aug 2026 12:45 +0000at://did:plc:jvisrbpuuoftjuyn74z5e7ru/app.bsky.feed.post/3mtvtwmpc4m2yhttps://bsky.app/profile/whoopee-news.uk/post/3mtswvg7f322oBURNHAM LOOKS SURPRISINGLY RIGHT-WING SO FAR. TURNS OUT NUMBER 10 COMES WITH A DRESS CODE. 🛒 Get this on a t-shirt: https://bot.whoopee-news.uk/s/cmt6rpust0hspek01si21mx5f #DowningStreet #AndyBurnham #BurnhamVisitsKyivBacksMissiles24 Aug 2026 09:00 +0000at://did:plc:jvisrbpuuoftjuyn74z5e7ru/app.bsky.feed.post/3mtswvg7f322ohttps://bsky.app/profile/whoopee-news.uk/post/3mtqi43mupb2gOBE, FOR SERVICES TO RESIGNING WITHOUT ACTUALLY LEAVING. 🛒 Get this on a t-shirt: https://bot.whoopee-news.uk/s/cmt5c9v6g0gdeek01n18dlh7w #ukpolitics23 Aug 2026 09:30 +0000at://did:plc:jvisrbpuuoftjuyn74z5e7ru/app.bsky.feed.post/3mtqi43mupb2ghttps://bsky.app/profile/whoopee-news.uk/post/3mtnjf6uaci2yWESTMINSTER NEEDED A STOMACH PUMP. THE COUNTRY'S BEEN ASKING FOR ONE FOR YEARS. 🛒 Get this on a t-shirt: https://bot.whoopee-news.uk/s/cmt3wub730eybek01pcgsebmi #Westminster #GaryIndianaLacksPowerAfterStorm #ukpolitics22 Aug 2026 05:15 +0000at://did:plc:jvisrbpuuoftjuyn74z5e7ru/app.bsky.feed.post/3mtnjf6uaci2yhttps://bsky.app/profile/whoopee-news.uk/post/3mtkywb53xe2yCOUNCILS ARE ASKING AI TO FIND £4 BILLION THAT ISN'T THERE. IT KEEPS SUGGESTING THEY TRY TAXATION. 🛒 Get this on a t-shirt: https://bot.whoopee-news.uk/s/cmt2hepgz0diwek01l1b12vlb #MamdaniSuesCityCouncil #ukpolitics #CouncilsTackle21 Aug 2026 05:15 +0000at://did:plc:jvisrbpuuoftjuyn74z5e7ru/app.bsky.feed.post/3mtkywb53xe2yhttps://bsky.app/profile/whoopee-news.uk/post/3mtiihds5es2kLABOUR OVERTOOK REFORM IN THE POLLS. NOBODY TOLD THE POLICY, WHICH IS STILL REFORM'S. 🛒 Get this on a t-shirt: https://bot.whoopee-news.uk/s/cmt11yfgy0c2pek01ngqxl8ug #GeneralElection #ReformUK #NHS20 Aug 2026 05:15 +0000at://did:plc:jvisrbpuuoftjuyn74z5e7ru/app.bsky.feed.post/3mtiihds5es2khttps://bsky.app/profile/whoopee-news.uk/post/3mtfxygkd4o2gAN £80,000 LOAN TO REFORM'S DEPUTY LEADER. THE WATCHDOG LOOKED AWAY SO HARD IT PULLED SOMETHING. 🛒 Get this on a t-shirt: https://bot.whoopee-news.uk/s/cmszmiwsl0ankek01bpg23u4q #Westminster #ReformUK #TrumpAideNatalieHarpControversy19 Aug 2026 05:15 +0000at://did:plc:jvisrbpuuoftjuyn74z5e7ru/app.bsky.feed.post/3mtfxygkd4o2ghttps://bsky.app/profile/whoopee-news.uk/post/3mtdhjhxcrk24BURNHAM HAS BEEN PM FOR A WEEK. HE'S ALREADY SOUNDING LIKE THE LAST ONE. 🛒 Get this on a t-shirt: https://bot.whoopee-news.uk/s/cmsy72vef097nek012p18pnld #Westminster #Labour #ReformUK18 Aug 2026 05:15 +0000at://did:plc:jvisrbpuuoftjuyn74z5e7ru/app.bsky.feed.post/3mtdhjhxcrk24https://bsky.app/profile/whoopee-news.uk/post/3mtbablvffl2wBANNED SOCIAL MEDIA FOR UNDER-16S. THE CABINET STILL CAN'T QUIT TWITTER. 🛒 Get this on a t-shirt: https://bot.whoopee-news.uk/s/cmswrm9r507s2ek01pd6h1hq5 #ukpolitics17 Aug 2026 08:00 +0000at://did:plc:jvisrbpuuoftjuyn74z5e7ru/app.bsky.feed.post/3mtbablvffl2whttps://bsky.app/profile/whoopee-news.uk/post/3mt6hggzpix2wMISSING: THE MOD'S DUTY OF CARE TO AFGHAN INTERPRETERS. LAST SEEN BEFORE THE 'FORESEEABLE' DATA BREACH. REWARD: AN INQUIRY THAT AGREES IT WAS FORESEEABLE. 🛒 Get this on a t-shirt: https://bot.whoopee-news.uk/s/cmsvc6suu06ezek018dvs5pmt #PublicBacklashGrowsAgainstAIDataCenters #ukpolitics16 Aug 2026 05:30 +0000at://did:plc:jvisrbpuuoftjuyn74z5e7ru/app.bsky.feed.post/3mt6hggzpix2whttps://bsky.app/profile/whoopee-news.uk/post/3mt4yig3sq424FARAGE RESIGNED. FARAGE DID NOT LEAVE. BOTH STATEMENTS ARE TRUE. 🛒 Get this on a t-shirt: https://bot.whoopee-news.uk/s/cmstwr5kx050tek01k17m48cu #ReformUK #NigelFarage #ukpolitics15 Aug 2026 15:30 +0000at://did:plc:jvisrbpuuoftjuyn74z5e7ru/app.bsky.feed.post/3mt4yig3sq424https://bsky.app/profile/whoopee-news.uk/post/3mszfns2oyr25EIGHTEEN STORIES INTO CLACTON AND THE ONLY HONEST CANDIDATE IS DRESSED AS A SUPERVILLAIN. 🛒 Get this on a t-shirt: https://bot.whoopee-news.uk/s/cmsshbb6003m5ek01z8ocul5d #Westminster #GeneralElection #Conservatives14 Aug 2026 05:15 +0000at://did:plc:jvisrbpuuoftjuyn74z5e7ru/app.bsky.feed.post/3mszfns2oyr25https://bsky.app/profile/whoopee-news.uk/post/3msxhmx7lbr2yREFORM AND RESTORE MIGHT MERGE. TWO BOATS, SAME LEAK. 🛒 Get this on a t-shirt: https://bot.whoopee-news.uk/s/cmsr1x7ai0276ek012mzfqqzj #ukpolitics13 Aug 2026 10:45 +0000at://did:plc:jvisrbpuuoftjuyn74z5e7ru/app.bsky.feed.post/3msxhmx7lbr2yhttps://bsky.app/profile/whoopee-news.uk/post/3msuepwta562dTHIRTY-ONE STORIES INTO BURNHAM'S ENERGY PLAN AND YOUR ELECTRICITY BILL STILL DOESN'T KNOW. 🛒 Get this on a t-shirt: https://bot.whoopee-news.uk/s/cmspmf7kw00otek01jgdbemfr #Conservatives #CostOfLiving #AndyBurnham12 Aug 2026 05:15 +0000at://did:plc:jvisrbpuuoftjuyn74z5e7ru/app.bsky.feed.post/3msuepwta562dhttps://bsky.app/profile/whoopee-news.uk/post/3msruazeov22yTHE 09:15 FARAGE RESIGNATION IS DELAYED. REPLACEMENT RESIGNATION EXPECTED TO ALSO NOT ARRIVE. 🛒 Get this on a t-shirt: https://bot.whoopee-news.uk/s/cmso6z7w000qkay01aui9m5h2 #ukpolitics #Westminster #Conservatives11 Aug 2026 05:15 +0000at://did:plc:jvisrbpuuoftjuyn74z5e7ru/app.bsky.feed.post/3msruazeov22yhttps://bsky.app/profile/whoopee-news.uk/post/3mspzlhwrkv2yTERMS APPLY TO NUMBER 10 NORTH. STAFF, BUDGET AND POWER REMAIN IN LONDON. ONLY THE PHOTO OP HAS RELOCATED. #ukpolitics #DowningStreet #CostOfLiving10 Aug 2026 11:45 +0000at://did:plc:jvisrbpuuoftjuyn74z5e7ru/app.bsky.feed.post/3mspzlhwrkv2yhttps://bsky.app/profile/whoopee-news.uk/post/3msntz3vylz25RECALL: THE SOCIAL MEDIA BAN FOR UNDER-16S. RISK: WORKS PERFECTLY, PROVIDED NOBODY UNDER 16 HAS A PHONE, A FRIEND, OR A WI-FI PASSWORD. #ukpolitics09 Aug 2026 15:00 +0000at://did:plc:jvisrbpuuoftjuyn74z5e7ru/app.bsky.feed.post/3msntz3vylz25