Un-fluencer. Mostly harmless Just me: https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:lcmic7aufmdzn4fdxtclgowv/feed/aaaknv3nrggu4 Sometimes I paint: www.briancaron.comhttps://bsky.app/profile/acornbrain.bsky.socialhttps://bsky.app/profile/acornbrain.bsky.social/post/3mrioxg23ic2gI eat well, but life is too short for whole wheat pasta.25 Jul 2026 20:21 +0000at://did:plc:lcmic7aufmdzn4fdxtclgowv/app.bsky.feed.post/3mrioxg23ic2ghttps://bsky.app/profile/acornbrain.bsky.social/post/3mri6gw3xec2tDog Owner: "Sorry my dog barks at you on your walk to work every morning." Me: "That's ok, he's harmless." DO: " 'She' " Me, to old, obese, mostly blind beagle with the croaking bark: "My apologies, madam."25 Jul 2026 15:25 +0000at://did:plc:lcmic7aufmdzn4fdxtclgowv/app.bsky.feed.post/3mri6gw3xec2thttps://bsky.app/profile/acornbrain.bsky.social/post/3mri5xpjt7s2tDidn't learn the word "groceries" until their late 70's. Doesn't know how to work an umbrella. Thinks Diet Coke cures cancer. Thinks asylum seekers come from mental hospitals.25 Jul 2026 15:17 +0000at://did:plc:lcmic7aufmdzn4fdxtclgowv/app.bsky.feed.post/3mri5xpjt7s2thttps://bsky.app/profile/acornbrain.bsky.social/post/3mqzrrrrkr22jEven when they've got us pinned, we're laughing. https://youtu.be/0rvEz_o8r8I?is=NsZZpf0wdLwlw2z019 Jul 2026 22:01 +0000at://did:plc:lcmic7aufmdzn4fdxtclgowv/app.bsky.feed.post/3mqzrrrrkr22jhttps://bsky.app/profile/acornbrain.bsky.social/post/3mqz34o26nc2jI'm constantly dissatisfied with the length of my facial hair. I grow it out and it's itchy and I get sick of it so I trim it really short, then I look in the mirror and I'm like woof, DON'T do that again, and repeat.19 Jul 2026 15:16 +0000at://did:plc:lcmic7aufmdzn4fdxtclgowv/app.bsky.feed.post/3mqz34o26nc2jhttps://bsky.app/profile/acornbrain.bsky.social/post/3mqwifiiudc2oIn 2029, we will have completely squandered twelve years. And that's the generous prediction.18 Jul 2026 14:35 +0000at://did:plc:lcmic7aufmdzn4fdxtclgowv/app.bsky.feed.post/3mqwifiiudc2ohttps://bsky.app/profile/acornbrain.bsky.social/post/3mqumchnkzk23I don't need to breathe. This is fine.17 Jul 2026 20:40 +0000at://did:plc:lcmic7aufmdzn4fdxtclgowv/app.bsky.feed.post/3mqumchnkzk23https://bsky.app/profile/acornbrain.bsky.social/post/3mqpppck7ak23SHIFT+2 is where it's at.15 Jul 2026 21:57 +0000at://did:plc:lcmic7aufmdzn4fdxtclgowv/app.bsky.feed.post/3mqpppck7ak23https://bsky.app/profile/acornbrain.bsky.social/post/3mqhe76mth222Charging extra for guac tells me everything I need to know about capitalism.12 Jul 2026 14:10 +0000at://did:plc:lcmic7aufmdzn4fdxtclgowv/app.bsky.feed.post/3mqhe76mth222https://bsky.app/profile/acornbrain.bsky.social/post/3mqemy42bks2jMe to wife: "Cooking for people is my love language." She says, yes that's called 'acts of service'. Then she pauses and we look at each other knowingly for a beat, and I say what we are both thinking: "Yeah, but it's really just this ONE act."11 Jul 2026 12:09 +0000at://did:plc:lcmic7aufmdzn4fdxtclgowv/app.bsky.feed.post/3mqemy42bks2jhttps://bsky.app/profile/acornbrain.bsky.social/post/3mqemedz7g22jREPORT: Starlings Going Absolutely Apeshit in Backyard this Morning11 Jul 2026 11:58 +0000at://did:plc:lcmic7aufmdzn4fdxtclgowv/app.bsky.feed.post/3mqemedz7g22jhttps://bsky.app/profile/acornbrain.bsky.social/post/3mq7taffry22mREPORT: pretty good peach09 Jul 2026 14:18 +0000at://did:plc:lcmic7aufmdzn4fdxtclgowv/app.bsky.feed.post/3mq7taffry22mhttps://bsky.app/profile/acornbrain.bsky.social/post/3mptrahfdak2lAw crap, I'm finally going viral and it's with a pilfered joke04 Jul 2026 19:10 +0000at://did:plc:lcmic7aufmdzn4fdxtclgowv/app.bsky.feed.post/3mptrahfdak2lhttps://bsky.app/profile/acornbrain.bsky.social/post/3mptq6tdlec2lYeah whatever04 Jul 2026 18:52 +0000at://did:plc:lcmic7aufmdzn4fdxtclgowv/app.bsky.feed.post/3mptq6tdlec2l