@rapscallison.bsky.social - Allison Epstein

18 Nov 2023 15:44 +0000

my cat and I have had adventures getting ready for the vet before but this is the first time I've looked in the mirror after and seen a smear of blood across my face like I'd just slain the Witch King of Angmar (9lb cat pictured for reference)

02 Nov 2023 17:13 +0000

I am generally not allowed to have much fun at work, so this is just for me I guess.

17 Oct 2023 14:06 +0000

She's HERE!! 🦉❄️🌼 Couldn't be happier to launch my second novel, LET THE DEAD BURY THE DEAD, into the world. Find her wherever you buy books, including here: https://bookshop.org/p/books/let-the-dead-bury-the-dead-allison-epstein/20525741?ean=9780385549097

13 Oct 2023 13:49 +0000

friendly reminder that you cannot tell someone's politics from their last name and it is wild that you think you can 🤘

11 Oct 2023 13:37 +0000

lesbian weddings should be sponsored by Google spreadsheets

10 Oct 2023 15:48 +0000

one week until pub day and I've only sent one panicked email asking if I should sell all my worldly belongings and become a lighthouse-keeper on Lake Superior, so all in all a success I think

08 Oct 2023 19:57 +0000

my book is out in 9 days so to avoid thinking about it I repotted all my plants, reorganized the bookshelf, steam cleaned the floors, set up two months of bullet journal grids, and changed the sheets, does anyone else have a stupid task I can help with it's only 3pm

04 Oct 2023 18:08 +0000

2023 is cancelled due to ongoing mechanical problems. I will resume making an effort on 1/1/2024. Kindly adjust your expectations.

02 Oct 2023 14:01 +0000

me: man, this new job is really a trip, don't like the vibes here but I'm worried about leaving because I very much need stability rn my daily tarot draws for the last three days: I DON'T KNOW HOW I CAN BE CLEARER FOR YOU KIDDO

29 Sep 2023 12:34 +0000

my 19th-century russia novel LET THE DEAD BURY THE DEAD is coming out in 19 days and it was 100% written by me, not an AI trawling the depths of the internet like a spooky tech bro parasite (I made this lousy graphic myself too but I bet you could tell) https://bookshop.org/p/books/let-the-dead-bury-the-dead-allison-epstein/20525741?ean=9780385549097

28 Sep 2023 13:53 +0000

I call this "the sad queer smartass with a breaking point we will discover 2/3 through the show to devastating results," aka "The Kit Marlowe Effect" [contains quote post or other embedded content]

26 Sep 2023 19:47 +0000

Or! Wild idea but hear me out with this one— [contains quote post or other embedded content]

24 Sep 2023 15:34 +0000

names I've mentally given to chapters in Our Rotten Hearts, a serious literary book set in Regency London: - Bad Times at TGI Friday's - Ash Ketchum in the Safari Zone - Cogsworth Gives Dating Advice - Violent Theater Kids Go to Denny's - My Fair Lady Does Crime - Call the Midwife But Sadder Somehow

23 Sep 2023 19:00 +0000

me yesterday: what if every word I've ever written is garbage, I should abandon writing and take to the sea me today: BOOK THREE IS SO GOOD IT'S GOING TO WIN THE NOBEL PRIZE FOR CHEMISTRY

22 Sep 2023 12:08 +0000

"introduce yourself to the new platform, Allison!" well I just spent 20 minutes singing a custom version of The Ballad of Sweeney Todd to my cat, beginning with "Attend the tale of Mina Bean, the smallest kitty you've ever seen" and ending with "the demon kitty who bites feet"

21 Sep 2023 17:13 +0000

so my day job is staffed by people either age 60+ or age <25 and somehow I am now responsible for emotionally regulating all of them in this environment, *I* am the chill and reasonable one, god help us

21 Sep 2023 13:03 +0000

hi friends my book comes out in 3.6 weeks and I'm avoiding my existential dread about it by joining a new platform, come help me hide from my fear of failure 🤘