Unseen in the background, fate was quietly slipping lead into the boxing-glove. CPO, music, art, dogs, whisky, books, ChelseaFC - A tosspot.https://bsky.app/profile/topperuk.bsky.socialhttps://bsky.app/profile/topperuk.bsky.social/post/3mlqaepvpk222I used to be a terrible judge of quantity but I'm better now. More or less.13 May 2026 11:50 +0000at://did:plc:mpcass76yt2xkpp62qhh3d46/app.bsky.feed.post/3mlqaepvpk222https://bsky.app/profile/topperuk.bsky.social/post/3mlq44o2wgs22If you're wondering how to type about putting down luggage, it's; 'lower case'.13 May 2026 10:34 +0000at://did:plc:mpcass76yt2xkpp62qhh3d46/app.bsky.feed.post/3mlq44o2wgs22https://bsky.app/profile/topperuk.bsky.social/post/3mlq2biixm222My Dad used to make those little plastic letters that you get on toilet doors. He always had an i for the ladies.13 May 2026 10:01 +0000at://did:plc:mpcass76yt2xkpp62qhh3d46/app.bsky.feed.post/3mlq2biixm222https://bsky.app/profile/topperuk.bsky.social/post/3mlq26yj2mc22I started something I couldn't fini13 May 2026 09:59 +0000at://did:plc:mpcass76yt2xkpp62qhh3d46/app.bsky.feed.post/3mlq26yj2mc22https://bsky.app/profile/topperuk.bsky.social/post/3mlo2ogqxq222I was lost for words when they told me I wasn't good enough for The England Scrabble Team.12 May 2026 15:03 +0000at://did:plc:mpcass76yt2xkpp62qhh3d46/app.bsky.feed.post/3mlo2ogqxq222https://bsky.app/profile/topperuk.bsky.social/post/3mlnyr3ochk22The girl in our local crockery store is so lovely, honestly, she's likeable in a china shop.12 May 2026 14:28 +0000at://did:plc:mpcass76yt2xkpp62qhh3d46/app.bsky.feed.post/3mlnyr3ochk22https://bsky.app/profile/topperuk.bsky.social/post/3mlnwfixzds22What’s blue and not very heavy? Light blue.12 May 2026 13:46 +0000at://did:plc:mpcass76yt2xkpp62qhh3d46/app.bsky.feed.post/3mlnwfixzds22https://bsky.app/profile/topperuk.bsky.social/post/3mlnvzxnfzs22You can't have everything. Where would you put it?12 May 2026 13:39 +0000at://did:plc:mpcass76yt2xkpp62qhh3d46/app.bsky.feed.post/3mlnvzxnfzs22https://bsky.app/profile/topperuk.bsky.social/post/3mllpqwjrxk22I know a girl who can balance pints of beer on parts of her body. She's got a decent head on her shoulders.11 May 2026 16:42 +0000at://did:plc:mpcass76yt2xkpp62qhh3d46/app.bsky.feed.post/3mllpqwjrxk22https://bsky.app/profile/topperuk.bsky.social/post/3mllinq2iac22A friend is selling his car. He wants Eleventy Twelve Twiddlybumguffs ONO. That's just silly money.11 May 2026 14:35 +0000at://did:plc:mpcass76yt2xkpp62qhh3d46/app.bsky.feed.post/3mllinq2iac22https://bsky.app/profile/topperuk.bsky.social/post/3mllh2vgnzs22I'm thinking about getting a stairlift. Apparently, it makes them look years younger.11 May 2026 14:06 +0000at://did:plc:mpcass76yt2xkpp62qhh3d46/app.bsky.feed.post/3mllh2vgnzs22https://bsky.app/profile/topperuk.bsky.social/post/3mlkwrww5n222I'm not sure it's a good idea to dedicate an entire month to exotic fruit but I'm going to do it kumquat May.11 May 2026 09:15 +0000at://did:plc:mpcass76yt2xkpp62qhh3d46/app.bsky.feed.post/3mlkwrww5n222https://bsky.app/profile/topperuk.bsky.social/post/3mlkwpzklnk22My mate rushed to the maternity ward, but it was too late. He was pronounced dad on arrival.11 May 2026 09:14 +0000at://did:plc:mpcass76yt2xkpp62qhh3d46/app.bsky.feed.post/3mlkwpzklnk22https://bsky.app/profile/topperuk.bsky.social/post/3mlkvgbyjic22Bloody chronology! It's just one thing after another.11 May 2026 08:50 +0000at://did:plc:mpcass76yt2xkpp62qhh3d46/app.bsky.feed.post/3mlkvgbyjic22https://bsky.app/profile/topperuk.bsky.social/post/3mlkurvxhts22Whoever spelt "lisp" was clearly taking the pith.11 May 2026 08:39 +0000at://did:plc:mpcass76yt2xkpp62qhh3d46/app.bsky.feed.post/3mlkurvxhts22https://bsky.app/profile/topperuk.bsky.social/post/3mldy6fzkws24I once thought that I could control ducks with my mind, but it turns out that both me and ducks just have similar ideas about what ducks do.08 May 2026 14:51 +0000at://did:plc:mpcass76yt2xkpp62qhh3d46/app.bsky.feed.post/3mldy6fzkws24https://bsky.app/profile/topperuk.bsky.social/post/3mldy3iba7224My old hat is a little outdated.08 May 2026 14:50 +0000at://did:plc:mpcass76yt2xkpp62qhh3d46/app.bsky.feed.post/3mldy3iba7224https://bsky.app/profile/topperuk.bsky.social/post/3mldy33ha3c24My pet snail gets a bit embarrassed about leaving a slimy trail behind himself. And to be honest I can see where he's coming from.08 May 2026 14:49 +0000at://did:plc:mpcass76yt2xkpp62qhh3d46/app.bsky.feed.post/3mldy33ha3c24https://bsky.app/profile/topperuk.bsky.social/post/3mlb4jnhka22wMrdr She Texted. (One for the teenagers there).07 May 2026 11:31 +0000at://did:plc:mpcass76yt2xkpp62qhh3d46/app.bsky.feed.post/3mlb4jnhka22whttps://bsky.app/profile/topperuk.bsky.social/post/3mlarkq3s5s2wJust met another person who doesn’t know what a globe is. It’s a small world.07 May 2026 08:15 +0000at://did:plc:mpcass76yt2xkpp62qhh3d46/app.bsky.feed.post/3mlarkq3s5s2whttps://bsky.app/profile/topperuk.bsky.social/post/3ml6t66ora22wMy neighbour keeps posting joss sticks through my letterbox. I’m incensed.06 May 2026 13:38 +0000at://did:plc:mpcass76yt2xkpp62qhh3d46/app.bsky.feed.post/3ml6t66ora22whttps://bsky.app/profile/topperuk.bsky.social/post/3ml6poz5ges2wWhen prog-rock guitarists start getting annoying punch them in the mid-riff.06 May 2026 12:36 +0000at://did:plc:mpcass76yt2xkpp62qhh3d46/app.bsky.feed.post/3ml6poz5ges2whttps://bsky.app/profile/topperuk.bsky.social/post/3ml6jtdmibc2wJust made a chicken salad...... Little bastard didn't eat it.06 May 2026 10:51 +0000at://did:plc:mpcass76yt2xkpp62qhh3d46/app.bsky.feed.post/3ml6jtdmibc2whttps://bsky.app/profile/topperuk.bsky.social/post/3ml4mtwics22wMy three aunties all have names that are also the names of months There’s April, May and National Fire Safety Awareness.05 May 2026 16:40 +0000at://did:plc:mpcass76yt2xkpp62qhh3d46/app.bsky.feed.post/3ml4mtwics22whttps://bsky.app/profile/topperuk.bsky.social/post/3ml4k5qdwr22wI’ve a new reversible jacket. I'm excited to see how it turns out.05 May 2026 15:52 +0000at://did:plc:mpcass76yt2xkpp62qhh3d46/app.bsky.feed.post/3ml4k5qdwr22whttps://bsky.app/profile/topperuk.bsky.social/post/3ml4bkx4gcc2oHow is it that a plane is much smaller than a planet?05 May 2026 13:18 +0000at://did:plc:mpcass76yt2xkpp62qhh3d46/app.bsky.feed.post/3ml4bkx4gcc2ohttps://bsky.app/profile/topperuk.bsky.social/post/3ml4bjvbpss2oI cut off all my fingertips last night. Now I don't feel so good.05 May 2026 13:17 +0000at://did:plc:mpcass76yt2xkpp62qhh3d46/app.bsky.feed.post/3ml4bjvbpss2ohttps://bsky.app/profile/topperuk.bsky.social/post/3ml4bija3g22oTip: Let sleeping dogs lie. Always respect other people’s prone hounds.05 May 2026 13:17 +0000at://did:plc:mpcass76yt2xkpp62qhh3d46/app.bsky.feed.post/3ml4bija3g22ohttps://bsky.app/profile/topperuk.bsky.social/post/3mksk3rhiyc2oThe world's worst limbo dancer walks into a bar.01 May 2026 16:24 +0000at://did:plc:mpcass76yt2xkpp62qhh3d46/app.bsky.feed.post/3mksk3rhiyc2ohttps://bsky.app/profile/topperuk.bsky.social/post/3mksjutbrbc2oIf you want to know anyone who leans to one side, I've got a list.01 May 2026 16:20 +0000at://did:plc:mpcass76yt2xkpp62qhh3d46/app.bsky.feed.post/3mksjutbrbc2o