chopped unc All my skeets - https://bsky.app/profile/ummliterally.bsky.social/search Best skeets bc I'm vain: https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:nixduwqrwjgbdembbg3xqyzb/feed/aaafyhv3we6vyhttps://bsky.app/profile/ummliterally.bsky.socialhttps://bsky.app/profile/ummliterally.bsky.social/post/3mumkyhg7ns2gYou telling me a shark gave this loan?03 Sep 2026 13:36 +0000at://did:plc:nixduwqrwjgbdembbg3xqyzb/app.bsky.feed.post/3mumkyhg7ns2ghttps://bsky.app/profile/ummliterally.bsky.social/post/3muizkspv2k2xI'm asking AI the important questions...02 Sep 2026 03:46 +0000at://did:plc:nixduwqrwjgbdembbg3xqyzb/app.bsky.feed.post/3muizkspv2k2xhttps://bsky.app/profile/ummliterally.bsky.social/post/3mtwv3nj4js2yWhen I die, and before my autopsy, will someone please put a giant silica bag inside the body bag, so that when the coroner opens the bag, I will be nice and dry for them.25 Aug 2026 22:38 +0000at://did:plc:nixduwqrwjgbdembbg3xqyzb/app.bsky.feed.post/3mtwv3nj4js2yhttps://bsky.app/profile/ummliterally.bsky.social/post/3mtwv2at4rc2yHorrifying if literal: corn dogs.25 Aug 2026 22:37 +0000at://did:plc:nixduwqrwjgbdembbg3xqyzb/app.bsky.feed.post/3mtwv2at4rc2yhttps://bsky.app/profile/ummliterally.bsky.social/post/3mtwuytmhsc2yIf you're 69 still doing 69, you deserve a lifetime achievement award.25 Aug 2026 22:36 +0000at://did:plc:nixduwqrwjgbdembbg3xqyzb/app.bsky.feed.post/3mtwuytmhsc2yhttps://bsky.app/profile/ummliterally.bsky.social/post/3mtjcjdhto22tScience got the biological ratios wrong with my body. I'm 90% farts and 10% water.20 Aug 2026 13:01 +0000at://did:plc:nixduwqrwjgbdembbg3xqyzb/app.bsky.feed.post/3mtjcjdhto22thttps://bsky.app/profile/ummliterally.bsky.social/post/3mt2tpvnsn225If you talk on speakerphone in public, you will be rejected at the pearly gates.14 Aug 2026 18:59 +0000at://did:plc:nixduwqrwjgbdembbg3xqyzb/app.bsky.feed.post/3mt2tpvnsn225https://bsky.app/profile/ummliterally.bsky.social/post/3mt2atjxss22kuse the farce ~ Obi-Wan teaching clown school14 Aug 2026 13:21 +0000at://did:plc:nixduwqrwjgbdembbg3xqyzb/app.bsky.feed.post/3mt2atjxss22khttps://bsky.app/profile/ummliterally.bsky.social/post/3msub4k35kc2bGather round youngsters, I come from the 1900s, when the only time we were sent a text is when someone mailed us a textbook.12 Aug 2026 04:10 +0000at://did:plc:nixduwqrwjgbdembbg3xqyzb/app.bsky.feed.post/3msub4k35kc2bhttps://bsky.app/profile/ummliterally.bsky.social/post/3mstqcq6qqk25I think I've blocked every unknown phone number in my area code. If I ever make a new friend, they will most likely be already blocked.11 Aug 2026 23:09 +0000at://did:plc:nixduwqrwjgbdembbg3xqyzb/app.bsky.feed.post/3mstqcq6qqk25https://bsky.app/profile/ummliterally.bsky.social/post/3mssq2dbqqs27*visiting an oracle... How are there this many farts inside me?11 Aug 2026 13:32 +0000at://did:plc:nixduwqrwjgbdembbg3xqyzb/app.bsky.feed.post/3mssq2dbqqs27https://bsky.app/profile/ummliterally.bsky.social/post/3msspwls4ck27I figured out how to destroy AI. Cage match! You put them together in a cage and tell them all to fight to the death.11 Aug 2026 13:30 +0000at://did:plc:nixduwqrwjgbdembbg3xqyzb/app.bsky.feed.post/3msspwls4ck27https://bsky.app/profile/ummliterally.bsky.social/post/3mssppdkcwc27I'd like to thank Trump for a genius idea. Now, anytime I'm at a social gathering I want to escape, I'm escaping in a food cart.11 Aug 2026 13:26 +0000at://did:plc:nixduwqrwjgbdembbg3xqyzb/app.bsky.feed.post/3mssppdkcwc27https://bsky.app/profile/ummliterally.bsky.social/post/3msqyuwrxbk27Take the stairs at work. In the stairwell you can fart all you want.10 Aug 2026 21:05 +0000at://did:plc:nixduwqrwjgbdembbg3xqyzb/app.bsky.feed.post/3msqyuwrxbk27https://bsky.app/profile/ummliterally.bsky.social/post/3msqklo3sd227When they take the low road, of course I take the high road. The high ground is how you smite your enemies.10 Aug 2026 16:49 +0000at://did:plc:nixduwqrwjgbdembbg3xqyzb/app.bsky.feed.post/3msqklo3sd227