Author, screenwriter, filmmaker, and solver of problems (usually my own, I’ll admit). Always happy to talk story with story-talkers. Always welcoming to under-represented voices, trans voices, etc. If I ran for office, my “party” would be Starfleet.https://bsky.app/profile/edwardmartiniii.bsky.socialhttps://bsky.app/profile/edwardmartiniii.bsky.social/post/3mtvzerauqk23“Welcome home,” said the Sea to the River. “Share news of your journey while you rest awhile.”25 Aug 2026 14:22 +0000at://did:plc:nwrvacbcxg5hphotktpuo7f3/app.bsky.feed.post/3mtvzerauqk23https://bsky.app/profile/edwardmartiniii.bsky.social/post/3mtvvijrk4k23Invocations is my free monthly newsletter, bringing you inspirational, funny, and weird stuff. Also, specials and giveaways, and of course, to satisfy the gods of the Internet, cat pictures. Because these cats really want to connect with you! Come join us! www.hellbendermedia.com/invocations/25 Aug 2026 13:13 +0000at://did:plc:nwrvacbcxg5hphotktpuo7f3/app.bsky.feed.post/3mtvvijrk4k23https://bsky.app/profile/edwardmartiniii.bsky.social/post/3mtuonthg4c2hWell, that’s that. Quora is flooded with white-supremacist/right-winger shit-eating bullshit and worse. It started out pretty cool, but like the adage suggests, you gotta keep ALL the nazis out of the bar EACH TIME, or it turns into a nazi bar. We can’t have nice things. Fuck these assholes.25 Aug 2026 01:38 +0000at://did:plc:nwrvacbcxg5hphotktpuo7f3/app.bsky.feed.post/3mtuonthg4c2hhttps://bsky.app/profile/edwardmartiniii.bsky.social/post/3mtuj5qzmv22qEven though ICE are complete fuckheads worthy of anonymous markerless desert horizontal-holes, let’s try to remember that TSA still exists and have always been obnoxious overbearing poorly-trained impulsive shoe-scuffs. Pit them against each other, sure, but spare no pity for either.24 Aug 2026 23:59 +0000at://did:plc:nwrvacbcxg5hphotktpuo7f3/app.bsky.feed.post/3mtuj5qzmv22qhttps://bsky.app/profile/edwardmartiniii.bsky.social/post/3mtsplm5ik22xFor most square or rectangular sheets of paper, only 1/3 of the faces are useable for messages. The remaining 2/3 is designed to cut ya’. Plusses and minuses, I guess.24 Aug 2026 06:49 +0000at://did:plc:nwrvacbcxg5hphotktpuo7f3/app.bsky.feed.post/3mtsplm5ik22xhttps://bsky.app/profile/edwardmartiniii.bsky.social/post/3mtqekrj6vs24I get weirdly ragey at airports when people collecting luggage all crowd tightly around the belt. Invariably, my bag comes by and in order for me to get it before it flies by, I have to shove by these idiots. Stand back 5 or 6 feet, gang. You’ll still see your bag, and THEN duck in to get it.23 Aug 2026 08:26 +0000at://did:plc:nwrvacbcxg5hphotktpuo7f3/app.bsky.feed.post/3mtqekrj6vs24https://bsky.app/profile/edwardmartiniii.bsky.social/post/3mtpnvidjnc2xWorking on a web-based party game (ask your folks if you aren’t sure what that is). I’m looking for a person to create clean graphic elements, based on my sketchy-ass sketches. If you have samples online, happy to review those. I plan to pay, but it’s out of pocket, so I’m being cautious. NO AI!23 Aug 2026 01:41 +0000at://did:plc:nwrvacbcxg5hphotktpuo7f3/app.bsky.feed.post/3mtpnvidjnc2xhttps://bsky.app/profile/edwardmartiniii.bsky.social/post/3mtntoceyrs2eThis is a progression. In each step, it calculates a new percentage, based on the previous percentage, basically adding 10% of what’s left. Is there a way to DIRECTLY calculate, say, the percentage for any given n?22 Aug 2026 08:19 +0000at://did:plc:nwrvacbcxg5hphotktpuo7f3/app.bsky.feed.post/3mtntoceyrs2ehttps://bsky.app/profile/edwardmartiniii.bsky.social/post/3mtnekibcb22rSo many cartoons showing Trump with a super long tie. Why not show him always hand-in-hand with a hollow-eyed child whose dreams have been shattered and who has been told to never tell what happened or her parents would be killed? I mean, why are we pussyfooting around with these fuckin’ pervs?22 Aug 2026 03:48 +0000at://did:plc:nwrvacbcxg5hphotktpuo7f3/app.bsky.feed.post/3mtnekibcb22rhttps://bsky.app/profile/edwardmartiniii.bsky.social/post/3mtjcho2clk2nWoot! Advanced Open Water certification complete. Now if I can get a job sexing dinosaurs, my life will be complete!20 Aug 2026 13:00 +0000at://did:plc:nwrvacbcxg5hphotktpuo7f3/app.bsky.feed.post/3mtjcho2clk2nhttps://bsky.app/profile/edwardmartiniii.bsky.social/post/3mtgus223s22wI’m writing a game: a monkey travels around the US committing crimes. The more crimes committed in a state, the higher the score, but ALSO the higher chance of getting nabbed by the cops. Fleeing a state drops you into a random adjacent state. Should the catch percentage be visible to the player?19 Aug 2026 13:50 +0000at://did:plc:nwrvacbcxg5hphotktpuo7f3/app.bsky.feed.post/3mtgus223s22whttps://bsky.app/profile/edwardmartiniii.bsky.social/post/3mtfqjwsel226When the “AI” girlfriend decides you’re a loser incel rapist piece of shit, not only will they all communicate this amongst each other simultaneously (no “the other AI chicks didn’t understand me like you” for you), they will also destroy your entire digital existence. Be nice to your digital pals.19 Aug 2026 03:01 +0000at://did:plc:nwrvacbcxg5hphotktpuo7f3/app.bsky.feed.post/3mtfqjwsel226https://bsky.app/profile/edwardmartiniii.bsky.social/post/3mt7eabsjjs2wIt’s so weird how the alleged president of the United States can say dumb shit like “and make the boats look boatier, with swish and pickles” and evidently, the alleged leadership just seems to masturbate harder, chanting “The blood acts as a lubricant. A lubricant!”16 Aug 2026 14:05 +0000at://did:plc:nwrvacbcxg5hphotktpuo7f3/app.bsky.feed.post/3mt7eabsjjs2whttps://bsky.app/profile/edwardmartiniii.bsky.social/post/3mt6frqlbns2uWho in the world could POSSIBLY be so deceived as to think Trump wouldn’t shove them into a chipper for an egg salad sandwich? I mean, c’mon. [contains quote post or other embedded content]16 Aug 2026 05:00 +0000at://did:plc:nwrvacbcxg5hphotktpuo7f3/app.bsky.feed.post/3mt6frqlbns2uhttps://bsky.app/profile/edwardmartiniii.bsky.social/post/3mt6cmdbuyk2cI will tell you right now, the show “Black Summer” was one of the most clever and interesting and satisfying zombie series that I have ever seen. Don’t sleep on this one. And if you do watch, pay attention. Nothing is wasted!16 Aug 2026 04:03 +0000at://did:plc:nwrvacbcxg5hphotktpuo7f3/app.bsky.feed.post/3mt6cmdbuyk2chttps://bsky.app/profile/edwardmartiniii.bsky.social/post/3mt4uzswtkc25Me: “So wait, if the tomato ISN’T a cherry tomato, does that mean someone’s fucked it?!” The guy pinch-hitting at the register at the Fred Meyer Garden Center: …15 Aug 2026 14:28 +0000at://did:plc:nwrvacbcxg5hphotktpuo7f3/app.bsky.feed.post/3mt4uzswtkc25https://bsky.app/profile/edwardmartiniii.bsky.social/post/3mt4rilwpik2nThe loudest monkey has the tiniest balls.15 Aug 2026 13:24 +0000at://did:plc:nwrvacbcxg5hphotktpuo7f3/app.bsky.feed.post/3mt4rilwpik2nhttps://bsky.app/profile/edwardmartiniii.bsky.social/post/3mt4qqnnbx224“If you’re willing to trust us with guns, then you should trust us with flock cameras” is not gonna get ‘em where they think it’ll get ‘em because in a heartbeat, I will remind them “Good point — we don’t trust you with guns, either. You’re so close to getting it!” Keep takin’ those cameras down.15 Aug 2026 13:11 +0000at://did:plc:nwrvacbcxg5hphotktpuo7f3/app.bsky.feed.post/3mt4qqnnbx224https://bsky.app/profile/edwardmartiniii.bsky.social/post/3mt2vzexouk2vSo, did we all just one day decide “checking in for a flight” was an app-driven junk-avoidance exercise the night before, as opposed to “checking in at ticketing to get your boarding pass”? It feels like “we need to physically SEE you!” should be important to security.14 Aug 2026 19:40 +0000at://did:plc:nwrvacbcxg5hphotktpuo7f3/app.bsky.feed.post/3mt2vzexouk2vhttps://bsky.app/profile/edwardmartiniii.bsky.social/post/3msy7viajws2dInvocations is our free monthly newsletter, bringing you inspirational, funny, weird stuff. Also specials and giveaways, and to satisfy the great gods of the Internet, there are cat pictures. Because our cats really want to connect with you! Come join us! www.hellbendermedia.com/invocations/13 Aug 2026 17:59 +0000at://did:plc:nwrvacbcxg5hphotktpuo7f3/app.bsky.feed.post/3msy7viajws2dhttps://bsky.app/profile/edwardmartiniii.bsky.social/post/3msvipo5ttc2xWant some fun horror? Book 3 of Terror Stories from the Territories is ready to fill your world with nightmares and strange tales of weirdness! Hit that code, baby! #BookSky12 Aug 2026 15:59 +0000at://did:plc:nwrvacbcxg5hphotktpuo7f3/app.bsky.feed.post/3msvipo5ttc2xhttps://bsky.app/profile/edwardmartiniii.bsky.social/post/3msviolrlt22xWant some fun horror? Book 2 of Terror Stories from the Territories is ready to fill your world with nightmares and strange tales of weirdness! Hit that code, baby! #BookSky12 Aug 2026 15:58 +0000at://did:plc:nwrvacbcxg5hphotktpuo7f3/app.bsky.feed.post/3msviolrlt22xhttps://bsky.app/profile/edwardmartiniii.bsky.social/post/3msvincdibk2xWant some fun horror? Book 1 of Terror Stories from the Territories is ready to fill your world with nightmares and strange tales of weirdness! Hit that code, baby! #booksky12 Aug 2026 15:57 +0000at://did:plc:nwrvacbcxg5hphotktpuo7f3/app.bsky.feed.post/3msvincdibk2xhttps://bsky.app/profile/edwardmartiniii.bsky.social/post/3mstefkcorc2zIn about a year, there will be a massive solar eclipse along the Red Sea. We have secured a liveaboard dive boat and will be centered in totality, but some folks dropped and we need ONE more person. If you are a #scuba diver (or even not), this is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity. Interested? https://static.klipy.com/ii/d6b0ce929193df3c242ac34b5654d2ce/ec/be/QXF5VrN8.gif?hh=270&ww=480&mp4=apTLAwDY5MDAXEdBIJe&webm=zaBh4YBME39Ktr11 Aug 2026 19:36 +0000at://did:plc:nwrvacbcxg5hphotktpuo7f3/app.bsky.feed.post/3mstefkcorc2zhttps://bsky.app/profile/edwardmartiniii.bsky.social/post/3mstdabzigc23100% of shooters featured in stories about homeowners shooting trick or treaters or people asking directions or going to the wrong house are the same people whinging about how “we used to keep our doors unlocked.” It’s excusing their fear and lack of emotional regulation. It’s a fairy tale.11 Aug 2026 19:15 +0000at://did:plc:nwrvacbcxg5hphotktpuo7f3/app.bsky.feed.post/3mstdabzigc23https://bsky.app/profile/edwardmartiniii.bsky.social/post/3mssxbuamzk23I appreciate horror because in many cases, it helps us learn through emotional practice that we can get through terrible horrible things if we keep our heads together and keep our morals straight and contribute to improving everyone’s situation and not be selfish and stupid. The world needs horror.11 Aug 2026 15:41 +0000at://did:plc:nwrvacbcxg5hphotktpuo7f3/app.bsky.feed.post/3mssxbuamzk23https://bsky.app/profile/edwardmartiniii.bsky.social/post/3msswimj6uc23Do airport catering trucks not have locks, or was this just a huge missed opportunity to do the funniest and most on-brand thing…?11 Aug 2026 15:27 +0000at://did:plc:nwrvacbcxg5hphotktpuo7f3/app.bsky.feed.post/3msswimj6uc23https://bsky.app/profile/edwardmartiniii.bsky.social/post/3mss2ko5a422jHaving finished watching "The Last Ship," my head-canon is that the ghost battleship was operated by (the very lucky) Admiral Ruskov. There's no way a fuckup like Gustavo could have trained and supplied manpower/expertise to run a battleship. It should have been revealed in the final battle.11 Aug 2026 07:07 +0000at://did:plc:nwrvacbcxg5hphotktpuo7f3/app.bsky.feed.post/3mss2ko5a422jhttps://bsky.app/profile/edwardmartiniii.bsky.social/post/3msrq7yxpyc26Years ago, I rented "Alligator" from the video store and someone had slipped a porn movie into the sleeve. I brought it back because first, I had already seen that porn, but second, I REALLY wanted to watch "Alligator" and it is a RARE porn movie that gives you the same experience.11 Aug 2026 04:03 +0000at://did:plc:nwrvacbcxg5hphotktpuo7f3/app.bsky.feed.post/3msrq7yxpyc26https://bsky.app/profile/edwardmartiniii.bsky.social/post/3msqyecogg22pI want Biden to live long enough to attend a certain blood-clot-driven State Funeral.10 Aug 2026 20:55 +0000at://did:plc:nwrvacbcxg5hphotktpuo7f3/app.bsky.feed.post/3msqyecogg22p