@eugene290390.bsky.social - eugene

05 May 2026 11:16 +0000

Trump Signs Executive Order Banning Seashells https://open.substack.com/pub/borowitzreport/p/trump-signs-executive-order-banning-eb5?r=4uj23k&utm_campaign=post&utm_medium=email

29 Apr 2026 11:53 +0000

King Charles Alienates Republicans With Offensive Use of Complete Sentences https://open.substack.com/pub/borowitzreport/p/king-charles-alienates-republicans?utm_campaign=post&utm_medium=email

28 Apr 2026 11:29 +0000

Iranians Catch Jared Kushner Trying to Set Up Own Tollbooth in Strait of Hormuz https://open.substack.com/pub/borowitzreport/p/iranians-catch-jared-kushner-trying?utm_campaign=post&utm_medium=email

26 Apr 2026 22:17 +0000

High Jet Fuel Cost Forces King to Visit US Remotely https://open.substack.com/pub/borowitzreport/p/high-jet-fuel-cost-forces-king-to?utm_campaign=post&utm_medium=email

26 Apr 2026 11:12 +0000

https://youtube.com/shorts/Ju0VV7vyvMk?si=IuOyPOy4x3RXVNf_

26 Apr 2026 01:10 +0000

Prediction...another fake assassination attempt. What else are you going to do about those dropping poll numbers? They just killed a guy, but of course he's going to return to give another phony fist pump. It worked once...it worked twice...how many times do we let ourselves be fooled?

23 Apr 2026 11:18 +0000

Pete Hegseth’s Zero Tolerance for Competence https://open.substack.com/pub/borowitzreport/p/pete-hegseths-zero-tolerance-for?utm_campaign=post&utm_medium=email

22 Apr 2026 11:16 +0000

Iran Warns It Considers Having to Spend More Time With JD Vance an Act of War https://open.substack.com/pub/borowitzreport/p/iran-warns-it-considers-having-to?utm_campaign=post&utm_medium=email

22 Apr 2026 09:57 +0000

This really is the dystopian world of Orwell... https://apnews.com/article/southern-poverty-law-center-criminal-investigation-db7fdcf9baa0d1b24b8f1e1f2cebc0be?utm_source=bluesky&utm_medium=share
Southern Poverty Law Center charged with defrauding donors with payments to extremist informants

21 Apr 2026 11:16 +0000

Patel Hopes to Look Sober by Scheduling Joint Appearance With Hegseth https://open.substack.com/pub/borowitzreport/p/patel-hopes-to-look-sober-by-scheduling?utm_campaign=post&utm_medium=email

20 Apr 2026 11:18 +0000

Iran Says Hormuz Strait Will Close Two Years for Renovations https://open.substack.com/pub/borowitzreport/p/iran-says-hormuz-strait-will-close?utm_campaign=post&utm_medium=email

16 Apr 2026 11:31 +0000

Trump Claims Pope’s Election was Rigged https://open.substack.com/pub/borowitzreport/p/trump-claims-popes-election-was-rigged?utm_campaign=post&utm_medium=email

15 Apr 2026 15:55 +0000

Sometimes we need to get out of our comfort zones to ask the right questions of ourselves.

14 Apr 2026 11:28 +0000

Obama Offers to Help Trump Craft Nuclear Deal with Iran https://open.substack.com/pub/borowitzreport/p/obama-offers-to-help-trump-craft?utm_campaign=post&utm_medium=email

13 Apr 2026 15:45 +0000

Vance Scolds Iran: “Trump Made You Rich off the Strait of Hormuz and You Haven’t Said Thank You Once” https://open.substack.com/pub/borowitzreport/p/vance-scolds-iran-trump-made-you?utm_campaign=post&utm_medium=email

12 Apr 2026 21:21 +0000

Ghost of Pope Francis to Viktor Orban: “I Warned You Not to Let Vance Near You” https://open.substack.com/pub/borowitzreport/p/ghost-of-pope-francis-to-viktor-orban?utm_campaign=post&utm_medium=email

10 Apr 2026 11:53 +0000

We don't need those idiots breeding anyways... ANSWERED: Does COVID-19 Impact Sexual Health? https://open.substack.com/pub/pandemicindex/p/answered-does-covid-19-impact-sexual?utm_campaign=post&utm_medium=email

10 Apr 2026 11:25 +0000

BREAKING: Another Statement From Melania https://open.substack.com/pub/borowitzreport/p/breaking-another-statement-from-melania?utm_campaign=post&utm_medium=email

08 Apr 2026 21:07 +0000

Iran Allows Ship Loaded With Epstein Files Through Strait of Hormuz https://open.substack.com/pub/borowitzreport/p/iran-allows-ship-loaded-with-epstein?utm_campaign=post&utm_medium=email

07 Apr 2026 23:42 +0000

Trump Gives Himself Two Weeks to Invent New Distraction from Epstein Files https://open.substack.com/pub/borowitzreport/p/trump-gives-himself-two-weeks-to?utm_campaign=post&utm_medium=email

07 Apr 2026 23:01 +0000

It IS Taco Tuesday... should have known! https://www.nytimes.com/live/2026/04/07/world/iran-war-trump-news?smid=url-share

07 Apr 2026 17:52 +0000

https://youtu.be/c1DcFmUrxUQ?si=VH54d2qd-Hxuea79

07 Apr 2026 00:11 +0000

What's the latest no-sports line?

07 Apr 2026 00:10 +0000

Iran Offers Strait in Exchange for Straitjacket https://open.substack.com/pub/borowitzreport/p/iran-offers-strait-in-exchange-for?utm_campaign=post&utm_medium=email

05 Apr 2026 22:44 +0000

And it just so happens to be my favorite!

02 Apr 2026 19:16 +0000

Iran Says It Has Started to Achieve Regime Change in US https://open.substack.com/pub/borowitzreport/p/iran-says-it-has-started-to-achieve?utm_campaign=post&utm_medium=email

01 Apr 2026 23:07 +0000

Sounds like a great deal...! Iran Agrees to End War Only if There is Regime Change in U.S. https://open.substack.com/pub/borowitzreport/p/iran-agrees-to-end-war-only-if-there?utm_campaign=post&utm_medium=email

01 Apr 2026 11:16 +0000

Donald Trump, History Dunce https://open.substack.com/pub/borowitzreport/p/donald-trump-history-dunce?utm_campaign=post&utm_medium=email

31 Mar 2026 11:27 +0000

Zelenskyy Offers to be Temp US President While Trump Undergoes Psychiatric Evaluation https://open.substack.com/pub/borowitzreport/p/zelenskyy-offers-to-be-temp-us-president?utm_campaign=post&utm_medium=email