@ashenswift.bsky.social - AshenSwift

13 May 2026 03:21 +0000

How do people make friends in 2026?

14 Apr 2026 21:30 +0000

It's raining it's pouring the old man is about to be snoring as soon as he gets off his fucking phone and lays down to take a nap. It's me. I'm the old man.

08 Apr 2026 15:37 +0000

ADHD thought of the day: Is sex basically torrenting babies?

02 Mar 2026 18:19 +0000

Random internet question! Would you rather: A) have your fork/spoon fall into your food B) have your fork/spoon fall on the floor and why you chose your answer?

08 Feb 2026 22:35 +0000

I am truly skilled. I have cut myself with dried taco sauce.

15 Nov 2025 15:44 +0000

Politics. Should be: "Which area needs improvement for the betterment of the nation and citizens?" Is: "What's in your pants? What's your skin tone?" Where the fuck are we even going anymore.

09 Oct 2025 17:02 +0000

TIL DoorDash delivery drivers undervalue themselves. Like, I've befriended some of them and they'll do some extra-curricular deliveries for me if I ask politely (always do), and when I pay them properly for their time, they tell me I give them too much. My standard is minimum wage ($15/hr).

30 Aug 2025 07:10 +0000

Randomly reminded of the fact that to this day I still cannot grasp the usage of semicolons in English writing. (specified cause I know the code nerds out there gonna hit me if I don't. XD)

24 Aug 2025 16:06 +0000

@lotusenta.gay to me: "You're a carpenters wet dream, flat as a board, and easy to screw." My reply: "Does that mean furries are a carpenters nightmare? All the wood is knotted."

18 Aug 2025 17:20 +0000

Conversation summary with @lotusenta.gay "It's 69 degrees outside." "Nice." "See, this is why we can't switch to celsius. Can't have 69 celsius outside and have it be nice." "No, 69c is just dead. Though death by 69 doesn't sound terrible."

12 Aug 2025 05:51 +0000

@bonnicula.bsky.social Hey Bonni, when're you planning on opening your new candy delivery + strippergram service? I heard it'll be called Bonni's Bonbons. XD <3

11 Aug 2025 07:02 +0000

No context quote post for the lulz [contains quote post or other embedded content]

31 Jul 2025 02:11 +0000

Help bully Lotus for charity. Just $100 and we can watch them eat spicy dill pickle goldfish, tell ICE to fuck off, and you can earn bonus art! https://tiltify.com/@lotusenta/vtubers-againts-ice-2025

27 Jul 2025 23:35 +0000

If you think it'd be fire to be used like a cum dumpster, you might be a cumster fire. If you burn grilled cheese, you might be a lunchster fire. If you have heart burn, you have a tumster fire. If cheese gives you heartburn, you have a meunster fire. If you found these funny, you're a punster fire.

22 Jul 2025 16:00 +0000

I guess Vshojo just learned the hard way... *shades* Why you don't fuck with the mouse.

17 Jul 2025 22:20 +0000

Car conversations with @lotusenta.gay Lotus: "I bet if Jesus was alive in the modern world, he'd be a suspiciously wealthy furry that commissions porn artists."

15 Jul 2025 05:32 +0000

Y'ever build yerself a literal physical wall of "problems for later you"? ....send help.

02 Jul 2025 22:32 +0000

Bad game design idea: 3D skill web. It's a skill sphere.

02 Jul 2025 16:35 +0000

What is my brain but a miserable pile of adhd?

02 Jul 2025 14:38 +0000

TFW being so tired and adhd that your brain start playing mad libs with your sentences

24 Jun 2025 19:09 +0000

My one complaint about getting a Nissan: everyone still closes my car doors like it's a Jeep. Please be a little nicer to my vehicle...

17 Jun 2025 15:21 +0000

In an infinite number of universes, there will always be a number of them where Massachusetts has conquered the world. In those, everyone is a Masshole. This thought brought to you by ADHD. "What was I saying again?"