Cheesephobic. Regular guy. Also award-winning crime fiction writer.https://bsky.app/profile/alanorloff.bsky.socialhttps://bsky.app/profile/alanorloff.bsky.social/post/3mvdly2mizk24Vaxxed!12 Sep 2026 17:25 +0000at://did:plc:rwtlrsb65dws2sx2ksweb2nm/app.bsky.feed.post/3mvdly2mizk24https://bsky.app/profile/alanorloff.bsky.social/post/3mv3rp2xqc22zSometimes you can tell it's going to be that kind of day, right when you wake up.09 Sep 2026 14:46 +0000at://did:plc:rwtlrsb65dws2sx2ksweb2nm/app.bsky.feed.post/3mv3rp2xqc22zhttps://bsky.app/profile/alanorloff.bsky.social/post/3muzthjkehk2yToday is pub day for HOOKED ON URBAN LEGENDS—AND MURDER! Happy to be included with so many great writers & friends! My story, “Face to Face,” is about three kids chasing an elusive swamp monster w/a “hat tip” to the Walter R. Brooks and Freddy the Pig! From @wildsidepress.bsky.social! https://www.amazon.com/Hooked-Urban-Legends-Donna-Andrews-ebook/dp/B0HBNSRRTX08 Sep 2026 20:12 +0000at://did:plc:rwtlrsb65dws2sx2ksweb2nm/app.bsky.feed.post/3muzthjkehk2yhttps://bsky.app/profile/alanorloff.bsky.social/post/3mux6hgl4nk2wLast night's fortune cookie wisdom.07 Sep 2026 18:51 +0000at://did:plc:rwtlrsb65dws2sx2ksweb2nm/app.bsky.feed.post/3mux6hgl4nk2whttps://bsky.app/profile/alanorloff.bsky.social/post/3mus2xhucas2fOver the years, I’ve learned that “Not too bad” is a polite way of saying “Not too good.”05 Sep 2026 18:05 +0000at://did:plc:rwtlrsb65dws2sx2ksweb2nm/app.bsky.feed.post/3mus2xhucas2fhttps://bsky.app/profile/alanorloff.bsky.social/post/3muq5bragjc25This is how we left the house together today. Unplanned...04 Sep 2026 23:41 +0000at://did:plc:rwtlrsb65dws2sx2ksweb2nm/app.bsky.feed.post/3muq5bragjc25https://bsky.app/profile/alanorloff.bsky.social/post/3mupg4syogk2wHappy Fantasy Football Draft Night to all who celebrate!04 Sep 2026 16:47 +0000at://did:plc:rwtlrsb65dws2sx2ksweb2nm/app.bsky.feed.post/3mupg4syogk2whttps://bsky.app/profile/alanorloff.bsky.social/post/3mumqekfaes2kTaken a few years ago, when Clifford was merely the Medium-Sized Red Dog.03 Sep 2026 15:12 +0000at://did:plc:rwtlrsb65dws2sx2ksweb2nm/app.bsky.feed.post/3mumqekfaes2khttps://bsky.app/profile/alanorloff.bsky.social/post/3muklztyzrk2aCheck out the groovy cover for this far out crime fiction anthology inspired by the The Monkees! DAYDREAM BELIEVER is a gas, man! Happy to have a story in it, with so many other heavy writers! Edited by cool Lawrence Allan and boss Shelley Kubitz Mahannah! From outta sight publisher Shotgun Honey! https://shotgunhoney.com/books/catalog/daydream-believer/02 Sep 2026 18:49 +0000at://did:plc:rwtlrsb65dws2sx2ksweb2nm/app.bsky.feed.post/3muklztyzrk2ahttps://bsky.app/profile/alanorloff.bsky.social/post/3muf7edamk225At the end of the day, when all is said and done, sometimes you just have to circle back and put a pin in it.31 Aug 2026 15:19 +0000at://did:plc:rwtlrsb65dws2sx2ksweb2nm/app.bsky.feed.post/3muf7edamk225https://bsky.app/profile/alanorloff.bsky.social/post/3mucyq5c27s2sLAST DAY to get a Kindle copy of THE FAMILY BIZ for only 99 cents! I mean, ninety-nine cents! (For those wondering, that’s less than one dollar!) Where else can you get so much enjoyment for so little money? I know where—no place! https://www.amazon.com/Family-Biz-Alan-Orloff-ebook/dp/B0GTC1Z8NG30 Aug 2026 18:15 +0000at://did:plc:rwtlrsb65dws2sx2ksweb2nm/app.bsky.feed.post/3mucyq5c27s2shttps://bsky.app/profile/alanorloff.bsky.social/post/3muaaxolpik2tHappy to have a story in the upcoming anthology, HOOKED ON URBAN LEGENDS--AND MURDER! Click thru to see the actual cover (on @arttaylorwriter.bsky.social--Thanks, Art!) along with complete details! From @wildsidepress.bsky.social! https://arttaylorwriter.com/2026/08/29/cover-reveal-hooked-on-urban-legends-and-murder/29 Aug 2026 16:05 +0000at://did:plc:rwtlrsb65dws2sx2ksweb2nm/app.bsky.feed.post/3muaaxolpik2thttps://bsky.app/profile/alanorloff.bsky.social/post/3mu5qqs56cc27As part of Level Best Books’s First Chapter Friday Club, THE FAMILY BIZ is ON SALE! For less than ONE DOLLAR, you can get the Kindle version! So much enjoyment, so little money! Act fast, this deal is only available thru Sunday! Share with your friends! (Join the Club for more upcoming bargains!) https://www.amazon.com/Family-Biz-Alan-Orloff-ebook/dp/B0GTC1Z8NG28 Aug 2026 16:09 +0000at://did:plc:rwtlrsb65dws2sx2ksweb2nm/app.bsky.feed.post/3mu5qqs56cc27https://bsky.app/profile/alanorloff.bsky.social/post/3mu33q2jyd223I’m not a massage fan. I don’t like strangers touching my body.27 Aug 2026 14:47 +0000at://did:plc:rwtlrsb65dws2sx2ksweb2nm/app.bsky.feed.post/3mu33q2jyd223https://bsky.app/profile/alanorloff.bsky.social/post/3mttlstvhyk27I recently bought some hot Chinese mustard. My review: HOT! So @&*^%$*! HOT! Destroyed my taste buds HOT! HOT HOT HOT HOT! SO HOT! UNBEARABLY HOT! DON’T EVEN THINK ABOUT IT HOT! NOT KIDDING HOT! REALLY, NOT KIDDING, HOT!24 Aug 2026 15:14 +0000at://did:plc:rwtlrsb65dws2sx2ksweb2nm/app.bsky.feed.post/3mttlstvhyk27https://bsky.app/profile/alanorloff.bsky.social/post/3mtri6gx3422rThe hits keep on coming! Another terrific book from the amazing @jesslourey.bsky.social! Read it, my friends! https://www.amazon.com/Crying-Killer-Jess-Lourey-ebook/dp/B0GBDKSF1823 Aug 2026 19:04 +0000at://did:plc:rwtlrsb65dws2sx2ksweb2nm/app.bsky.feed.post/3mtri6gx3422rhttps://bsky.app/profile/alanorloff.bsky.social/post/3mtolc2kbqk2qWhat’s it called when you have a lot of minor things to do but don’t feel like doing any of them? Yeah, that.22 Aug 2026 15:21 +0000at://did:plc:rwtlrsb65dws2sx2ksweb2nm/app.bsky.feed.post/3mtolc2kbqk2qhttps://bsky.app/profile/alanorloff.bsky.social/post/3mtm5cgrubs2pJust finished DEAD WEST by my buddy @magmn.bsky.social, and it’s another winner in his terrific Nils Shapiro detective series. Do yourself a favor and start at the beginning of the series and keep reading! https://www.amazon.com/Dead-West-Nils-Shapiro-Book-ebook/dp/B07WYSF92121 Aug 2026 16:06 +0000at://did:plc:rwtlrsb65dws2sx2ksweb2nm/app.bsky.feed.post/3mtm5cgrubs2phttps://bsky.app/profile/alanorloff.bsky.social/post/3mtjjysc46k2yI participated in a research study yesterday at our local university. I think it had something to do with memory, but I don’t really remember.20 Aug 2026 15:15 +0000at://did:plc:rwtlrsb65dws2sx2ksweb2nm/app.bsky.feed.post/3mtjjysc46k2yhttps://bsky.app/profile/alanorloff.bsky.social/post/3mtgz3ey2tc2bIf you sent me a legit email requesting something or offering me untold riches, I apologize for not responding—I just figured it was spam. Please try again and use the code words PURPLE MARSUPIAL in the subject line.19 Aug 2026 15:07 +0000at://did:plc:rwtlrsb65dws2sx2ksweb2nm/app.bsky.feed.post/3mtgz3ey2tc2bhttps://bsky.app/profile/alanorloff.bsky.social/post/3mteyi2igk22lToday's civic duty completed.18 Aug 2026 19:51 +0000at://did:plc:rwtlrsb65dws2sx2ksweb2nm/app.bsky.feed.post/3mteyi2igk22lhttps://bsky.app/profile/alanorloff.bsky.social/post/3mtekyqiu622kSO PROUD of my wife who was named to the board of the Wilson Disease Association.18 Aug 2026 15:50 +0000at://did:plc:rwtlrsb65dws2sx2ksweb2nm/app.bsky.feed.post/3mtekyqiu622khttps://bsky.app/profile/alanorloff.bsky.social/post/3mtca72diq22oGot back from California. First, an amazing wedding of an old friend’s daughter, then family vacay at Big Bear: hiking, pontoon boating, fishing*, laughing, games, massages*, movie (The Odyssey), go-karts*, playwright reading showcase, stand-up comedy show*, and kayaking. Outstanding! * not me17 Aug 2026 17:31 +0000at://did:plc:rwtlrsb65dws2sx2ksweb2nm/app.bsky.feed.post/3mtca72diq22ohttps://bsky.app/profile/alanorloff.bsky.social/post/3mtam47p7yc2rPeople eat all kinds of food on an airplane. Usually stuff like pretzels, sandwiches, Doritos, gummy worms, whatever. Today, a first: I saw a woman eating corn on the cob.17 Aug 2026 01:59 +0000at://did:plc:rwtlrsb65dws2sx2ksweb2nm/app.bsky.feed.post/3mtam47p7yc2rhttps://bsky.app/profile/alanorloff.bsky.social/post/3mt7qnuxeek2rYou know it's the last morning of vacation when you're standing over the sink eating your breakfast of two deli turkey slices wrapped around a pickle spear.16 Aug 2026 17:48 +0000at://did:plc:rwtlrsb65dws2sx2ksweb2nm/app.bsky.feed.post/3mt7qnuxeek2rhttps://bsky.app/profile/alanorloff.bsky.social/post/3mt2pqghkwk2nI found out that my son and I use the same Wordle starting word. Crazy! (Not the word, the coincidence.)14 Aug 2026 17:48 +0000at://did:plc:rwtlrsb65dws2sx2ksweb2nm/app.bsky.feed.post/3mt2pqghkwk2nhttps://bsky.app/profile/alanorloff.bsky.social/post/3mstfal7psk2oKilljoys!11 Aug 2026 19:51 +0000at://did:plc:rwtlrsb65dws2sx2ksweb2nm/app.bsky.feed.post/3mstfal7psk2ohttps://bsky.app/profile/alanorloff.bsky.social/post/3msjcpgw73s2nWhen I iron something, it's 50-50 whether it will have fewer or more wrinkles after I'm done.07 Aug 2026 19:39 +0000at://did:plc:rwtlrsb65dws2sx2ksweb2nm/app.bsky.feed.post/3msjcpgw73s2nhttps://bsky.app/profile/alanorloff.bsky.social/post/3msgd7q6sik2oMy horror/thriller, DARK SPRINGS, may not come out until February, but it is available for preorder RIGHT NOW! From @rowanprosepub.bsky.social! https://www.amazon.com/Dark-Springs-Alan-Orloff-ebook/dp/B0GMK9B4ZG06 Aug 2026 15:10 +0000at://did:plc:rwtlrsb65dws2sx2ksweb2nm/app.bsky.feed.post/3msgd7q6sik2ohttps://bsky.app/profile/alanorloff.bsky.social/post/3mse7oj3imk2sWho’s got an effective solution for keeping raccoons out of a swimming pool? Maybe a motion-activated sprinkler? Scares them away without harming them. And the pool guy said to try a plastic floating gator head.05 Aug 2026 19:02 +0000at://did:plc:rwtlrsb65dws2sx2ksweb2nm/app.bsky.feed.post/3mse7oj3imk2s