Confess your sins anonymously - will the internet absolve you? Buy show tickets 2025/6: sites.google.com/view/fesshole Add confession b3ta.com/addfess Buy book amazon.co.uk/s?k=very+best+of+fesshole&tag=b3ta-21 Run @robmanuel.b3ta.comhttps://bsky.app/profile/fesshole.bsky.socialhttps://bsky.app/profile/fesshole.bsky.social/post/3mlabdyycpv2mFESSHOLE LIVE TICKETS: 14 May 2026 - 53Two, Manchester; 18 Jun 2026 - New Adelphi Club, Hull; 20 Jun 2026 - Cambridge Junction https://sites.google.com/view/fesshole07 May 2026 03:25 +0000at://did:plc:tbrthh5pfovhdv5pkdhocnub/app.bsky.feed.post/3mlabdyycpv2mhttps://bsky.app/profile/fesshole.bsky.social/post/3ml7qcgxymo2mThe wife and I have a long-running difference of opinion about car GPS use. I set it so the direction of travel is on top. She sets it so that north is on top. We each switch to our preferred mode before each journey. Comments welcome about whether this is weird.06 May 2026 22:20 +0000at://did:plc:tbrthh5pfovhdv5pkdhocnub/app.bsky.feed.post/3ml7qcgxymo2mhttps://bsky.app/profile/fesshole.bsky.social/post/3ml7mx6gh2a22I tell sex workers my name is Jay, not because I'm trying to be secretive but because John is a little on the nose.06 May 2026 21:20 +0000at://did:plc:tbrthh5pfovhdv5pkdhocnub/app.bsky.feed.post/3ml7mx6gh2a22https://bsky.app/profile/fesshole.bsky.social/post/3ml7jlv63oi2xI sext for extra cash. Ive just had an 82 yo old man refer to their car as a 'wank chariot'. I'm done. 06 May 2026 20:20 +0000at://did:plc:tbrthh5pfovhdv5pkdhocnub/app.bsky.feed.post/3ml7jlv63oi2xhttps://bsky.app/profile/fesshole.bsky.social/post/3ml7galmfxb2iI've spent all evening feeling mildly irritated that I'd mislaid a T-shirt that I intended to put in the wash. Five hours and a couple of trips to the bathroom later, I've realised that I'm wearing it under a jumper. 06 May 2026 19:20 +0000at://did:plc:tbrthh5pfovhdv5pkdhocnub/app.bsky.feed.post/3ml7galmfxb2ihttps://bsky.app/profile/fesshole.bsky.social/post/3ml7cvcbgzv2hI slice a banana on to pizza before it goes in the oven. It's absolutely delicious06 May 2026 18:20 +0000at://did:plc:tbrthh5pfovhdv5pkdhocnub/app.bsky.feed.post/3ml7cvcbgzv2hhttps://bsky.app/profile/fesshole.bsky.social/post/3ml77jyvmsf2vNew girfriend is taking the piss and telling her mates because I bake Greggs and soak it in hot tea before eating it. I can't be the only one who eats it this way, can I?06 May 2026 17:20 +0000at://did:plc:tbrthh5pfovhdv5pkdhocnub/app.bsky.feed.post/3ml77jyvmsf2vhttps://bsky.app/profile/fesshole.bsky.social/post/3ml746pshmg2vI stay in budget hotels a lot for work. I am also usually the last person to leave the hotel bar. Without fail I reverse every 'do not disturb' sign I find on my way to bed. The chaos it must cause in the morning still amuses me. 06 May 2026 16:20 +0000at://did:plc:tbrthh5pfovhdv5pkdhocnub/app.bsky.feed.post/3ml746pshmg2vhttps://bsky.app/profile/fesshole.bsky.social/post/3ml6ytgxohk2jHave never had my ears pierced. Was a bridesmaid, bride wanted us to wear matching earrings. Promised to get my ears done to fit in. Did it myself in the bathroom with a sewing needle, and let the holes heal up again after the wedding. Didn't cost a penny. 06 May 2026 15:20 +0000at://did:plc:tbrthh5pfovhdv5pkdhocnub/app.bsky.feed.post/3ml6ytgxohk2jhttps://bsky.app/profile/fesshole.bsky.social/post/3ml6xpwf6zi2zSecrets need an outlet. Use the Fesshole form: https://b3ta.com/addfess06 May 2026 15:00 +0000at://did:plc:tbrthh5pfovhdv5pkdhocnub/app.bsky.feed.post/3ml6xpwf6zi2zhttps://bsky.app/profile/fesshole.bsky.social/post/3ml6vi6befk2uStarted a new job just before Xmas, went home with a guy from another dept at the Christmas party, might have been the best shag of my life. Last week he was moved in to my dept, he's an annoying, incompetent, cocky asshole. Between that and the sexual tension, I need a new job.06 May 2026 14:20 +0000at://did:plc:tbrthh5pfovhdv5pkdhocnub/app.bsky.feed.post/3ml6vi6befk2uhttps://bsky.app/profile/fesshole.bsky.social/post/3ml6s4tj4532uCoworker goes for coffee twice a day and the whole office smells of the cheap strong stuff they buy. I use a coffee-flavoured vape so I can vape at my desk while everyone is out; it smells exactly the same and I don't have to go out in the weather for a nicotine hit.06 May 2026 13:20 +0000at://did:plc:tbrthh5pfovhdv5pkdhocnub/app.bsky.feed.post/3ml6s4tj4532uhttps://bsky.app/profile/fesshole.bsky.social/post/3ml6ormj4nz2mI have been kicked from the extended family group chat because I told my uncle that no one wants to see his ai slop remixes of every picture that gets posted and he got rather upset. They don't even look like the people they are supposed to be.06 May 2026 12:20 +0000at://did:plc:tbrthh5pfovhdv5pkdhocnub/app.bsky.feed.post/3ml6ormj4nz2mhttps://bsky.app/profile/fesshole.bsky.social/post/3ml6lgcycii2jUntil last week I've always assumed the 'tee' in 'teetotaller' meant the person only ever drinks tea and the 'tee' is just spelt wrong. I'll be 68 years old in June.06 May 2026 11:20 +0000at://did:plc:tbrthh5pfovhdv5pkdhocnub/app.bsky.feed.post/3ml6lgcycii2jhttps://bsky.app/profile/fesshole.bsky.social/post/3ml6i2zseol2gDad to newborn girl. She has discomfort after feeds, until she farts. My new game is trying to disguise my own farts as hers. If successful, I take great joy in hearing the wife's excitement and acoustic analysis of my farts. 06 May 2026 10:20 +0000at://did:plc:tbrthh5pfovhdv5pkdhocnub/app.bsky.feed.post/3ml6i2zseol2ghttps://bsky.app/profile/fesshole.bsky.social/post/3ml6eprcogl2uEvery few weeks, I sneak a 44 lb bag of dog food through the self check out at the supermarket. Have been doing this for months. My dogs are anti-corporation anarchists so I really have no other option.06 May 2026 09:20 +0000at://did:plc:tbrthh5pfovhdv5pkdhocnub/app.bsky.feed.post/3ml6eprcogl2uhttps://bsky.app/profile/fesshole.bsky.social/post/3ml6begilqy2vI love taking a Kindle to a club and reading in a corner. I'll never get more than 10 minutes into my book before one of the nicer and quieter lads asks if he can buy me a drink. We'll generally go somewhere quieter so we can discuss literature.06 May 2026 08:20 +0000at://did:plc:tbrthh5pfovhdv5pkdhocnub/app.bsky.feed.post/3ml6begilqy2vhttps://bsky.app/profile/fesshole.bsky.social/post/3ml65z4jgzj2mHusband wanted jeans for xmas. When he tried them on they were far too tight. He looked ridiculous. When he asked if I liked them I said yes as I couldn't be bothered with the hassle of returning them. He's gone & bought 2 more pairs in different colours. Serves me right I guess06 May 2026 07:20 +0000at://did:plc:tbrthh5pfovhdv5pkdhocnub/app.bsky.feed.post/3ml65z4jgzj2mhttps://bsky.app/profile/fesshole.bsky.social/post/3ml5qv25wlf22FESSHOLE LIVE TICKETS: 14 May 2026 - 53Two, Manchester; 18 Jun 2026 - New Adelphi Club, Hull; 20 Jun 2026 - Cambridge Junction https://sites.google.com/view/fesshole06 May 2026 03:25 +0000at://did:plc:tbrthh5pfovhdv5pkdhocnub/app.bsky.feed.post/3ml5qv25wlf22https://bsky.app/profile/fesshole.bsky.social/post/3ml57tjjov725Long haul trucker. I have a 54oz thermos for coffee. I never wash or rinse it out just top off with fresh when I'm at the truck stop. All tastes the same anyway 05 May 2026 22:20 +0000at://did:plc:tbrthh5pfovhdv5pkdhocnub/app.bsky.feed.post/3ml57tjjov725https://bsky.app/profile/fesshole.bsky.social/post/3ml54iajix22mPlasterer here. Last summer in the few days it was hot my plaster started drying out before i could trowel it on. I was up a scaffold doing some stairs so I pissed in the bucket and stirred it in to save me climbing down to use water. Sorry if you bought that house. 05 May 2026 21:20 +0000at://did:plc:tbrthh5pfovhdv5pkdhocnub/app.bsky.feed.post/3ml54iajix22mhttps://bsky.app/profile/fesshole.bsky.social/post/3ml4z4wyjfn2vI'm regularly late for work due to watching Scooby Doo in the mornings, you can't walk away before they reveal the villain05 May 2026 20:20 +0000at://did:plc:tbrthh5pfovhdv5pkdhocnub/app.bsky.feed.post/3ml4z4wyjfn2vhttps://bsky.app/profile/fesshole.bsky.social/post/3ml4vrnri5q2mOn a software project, I used dummy text as a placeholder to be replaced later with actual descriptive error messages. Predictably, not all instances were fixed before release, and bemused corporate clients reported "Error: There is sauerkraut in my lederhosen".05 May 2026 19:20 +0000at://did:plc:tbrthh5pfovhdv5pkdhocnub/app.bsky.feed.post/3ml4vrnri5q2mhttps://bsky.app/profile/fesshole.bsky.social/post/3ml4sgelf7b2mHad an early job interview in Central London which was done by midday. Had several hours before my train, so did a solo mini-pub crawl. Best day out I've had in ages.05 May 2026 18:20 +0000at://did:plc:tbrthh5pfovhdv5pkdhocnub/app.bsky.feed.post/3ml4sgelf7b2mhttps://bsky.app/profile/fesshole.bsky.social/post/3ml4p33e2me2zI have studied film at FE and HE. Seen it all: the classics, world, European, avant-garde. I can't tell anyone this, but Arnold Schwarzenegger is my favourite actor. Predator and T2 are my favourite films.05 May 2026 17:20 +0000at://did:plc:tbrthh5pfovhdv5pkdhocnub/app.bsky.feed.post/3ml4p33e2me2zhttps://bsky.app/profile/fesshole.bsky.social/post/3ml4lpsb75b25Went to a wedding at a posh hotel and had messy, explosive diarrhoea. Found a room open to spray out my mess. It was vile and went everywhere. I cleaned up as best I could; in the morning I saw the groom at reception complaining about the state of the honeymoon suite; soz.05 May 2026 16:20 +0000at://did:plc:tbrthh5pfovhdv5pkdhocnub/app.bsky.feed.post/3ml4lpsb75b25https://bsky.app/profile/fesshole.bsky.social/post/3ml4iejiisk2iI have kids in twenties and one 14. We have a group chat for the adults including the son in laws and then one with the younger one so we can talk adult things without her. I intentionally use the wrong one sometimes because she needs to grow up sometime.05 May 2026 15:20 +0000at://did:plc:tbrthh5pfovhdv5pkdhocnub/app.bsky.feed.post/3ml4iejiisk2ihttps://bsky.app/profile/fesshole.bsky.social/post/3ml4hay7eps2eConfess now and often. Use this link: https://b3ta.com/addfess05 May 2026 15:00 +0000at://did:plc:tbrthh5pfovhdv5pkdhocnub/app.bsky.feed.post/3ml4hay7eps2ehttps://bsky.app/profile/fesshole.bsky.social/post/3ml4eza7ovy2bOn long drives, if I end up behind the same car or van for miles, I turn it into a game: I pretend I'm an undercover cop tailing a suspect. They overtake, I overtake. They pull in, I pull in. It makes the journey way more entertaining, especially if the van looks dodgy.05 May 2026 14:20 +0000at://did:plc:tbrthh5pfovhdv5pkdhocnub/app.bsky.feed.post/3ml4eza7ovy2bhttps://bsky.app/profile/fesshole.bsky.social/post/3ml4bnx52la2uNeed to thank my gym for ensuring I got myself in shape. It was when I'd put on that much weight that their towels no longer fitted around my belly that I committed to shed a few stone.05 May 2026 13:20 +0000at://did:plc:tbrthh5pfovhdv5pkdhocnub/app.bsky.feed.post/3ml4bnx52la2u