@gracejarvisohno.bsky.social - Grace Jarvis

03 Oct 2026 13:29 +0000

my all time favourite friendly insult has gotta be Dizzy Bitch - it’s truly perfect! “oh you’re such a dizzy bitch!” come on! thrilling! tag a dizzy bitch in your life

01 Oct 2026 00:48 +0000

I don’t know anything really about the plot, content or vibe of the show Entourage, but I gotta say? I think it’s pretty fun to have a friend called Turtle

30 Sep 2026 15:45 +0000

this boiled egg is so far from “cheeky” this boiled egg is a savage and ruthless villain he is a wicked wicked egg

24 Sep 2026 16:58 +0000

AI could never write an email as cowering and apologetic as I can

22 Sep 2026 17:04 +0000

today at work a woman handed me a £15 battery-operated bullet vibrator and earnestly asked what the difference was between that and the £90 Lelo vibrator she had been looking at earlier and I ran out of customer service mode entirely in that moment and just stood there and said, “it’s not as good”

22 Sep 2026 10:25 +0000

a huge part of working retail for me is just working myself up to listen to the censored versions of some of the worst music ever made for eight consecutive hours - it’s like being aurally waterboarded by the radio for minimum wage

13 Sep 2026 09:53 +0000

during the London heatwaves this summer, we left our windows open one night and a fox came inside and did a shit in the shape of a Matisse

09 Sep 2026 15:42 +0000

the computer is sending people into actual delusional psychosis and yet my file name still cannot include any of the following characters: / / : * " < > | ???? you've become too powerful in the wrong direction, computer! think of the accurate labelling we could do together!

09 Sep 2026 09:59 +0000

“trust your instincts” you mean the ones convinced that “having toenails” is a grievous condition I must cure myself of?

09 Sep 2026 07:37 +0000

I think the worst part about being in pain every day of my life since I was 14 (apart from The Agony) is how often other people are somehow mad at ME about it

15 Aug 2026 23:31 +0000

just walked past a huge crowd of people gathered in a circle and filming on their phones and because I’m at a fringe festival I assumed it was some kind of street performer, but it turned out to be a man being pinned face down on the road by upwards of six Scottish policemen

08 Aug 2026 14:33 +0000

our salads come wearing a three-piece suit

07 Aug 2026 01:19 +0000

unfortunately, to me, watching people do weird shit in a basement at a fringe festival is the meaning of life

05 Aug 2026 14:11 +0000

I was staying with @casscasspaige.bsky.social when I recorded this and at one point she thought I was getting genuinely upset and reached over to comfort me and then realised and went, “oh ACTING” [contains quote post or other embedded content]

02 Aug 2026 22:41 +0000

just realised I feel Very Young (I’m a child lost in the woods with none of the right words or skills to get myself out) because I am Very Young (there’s a long, sun scorched road ahead of me and I can choose to keep walking every moment I’m alive)

02 Aug 2026 16:28 +0000

as per my last telekinetic event

02 Aug 2026 16:25 +0000

your middle school friend who just turned 13 and suddenly needs to make you feel bad for still doing all the stuff you’ve been doing together for years:

16 Jul 2026 22:24 +0000

all these AI company freaks are genuinely just pushing themselves onto us more and more and more because they think eventually we’ll give up and let them fuck us - we are being culturally raped by these rich, evil Thunderbirds puppets come to life to imperil a college campus and then the world

16 Jul 2026 22:00 +0000

it’s cool that like six of the richest guys in the world are allowed to hold every other persons, like, pensions and superannuation hostage over a technology that no one asked for or wanted and is literally removing them from the employment that made it possible to contribute to that superannuation

16 Jul 2026 14:30 +0000

new podcast episode with @tomcballard.bsky.social is up now!!!

04 Jul 2026 13:19 +0000

I was saving my last chocolate bilby from Easter because I miss Australian chocolate so much when I’m in the UK and the London heat has THWARTED my treat

04 Jul 2026 00:55 +0000

got my period wearing spanx at a wedding reception while Robyn’s Dancing On My Own was playing - some incredibly, industrial-strength womanhood for a Friday night