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The Onion
theonion.com
did:plc:a4pqq234yw7fqbddawjo7y35
“Humanity has never faced a more deadly carrier of disease and bacteria than children, and their total removal is a massive medical breakthrough and a milestone in the management of illness in this country,” — Jane Christiansen, CDC spokesperson
https://theonion.com/cdc-successfully-eradicates-children/
2026-09-09T01:00:09.079Z